Charging your children rent

[mumto2teenagers]

Genuinely looking for opinions as DH and I disagree on this.

We have 2 DD’s.

DD1 - in second year at uni living away from home. She receives the basic maintenance amount as part of her student loan but this only covers approx 1/2 of her rent, she also has a part time job and uses that money for food and general expenses. Anything she has left she puts towards her rent. We then pay the rest of her rent. She comes home in holidays, works part time and saves this money for the next term at uni, we don’t charge her rent for the time she is at home.

DD2 - is currently deciding what to do after her A levels. She is not keen on uni so is considering either an apprenticeship or full time employment.

If DD2 is working full time would you charge her rent because she now has a full time job.

One of us thinks rent should start when you get a full time job the other thinks this is unfair on DD2 as her sister stays in holidays rent free and we still support her as she chose to go to uni.

Mn will err heavily on the side of charging them rent.

My view is different. My children are my family and it wouldn’t occur to me to charge them money for living in their home. I help them when they need it and I hope in the future they will do the same to me.

My older sister was not charged rent as she was at uni living away from home most of the time.

I went to work after I finished school instead wasn’t full time to start with and was charged £20 per week ‘board’ out of my wages. I thought that was fair enough.

I’d charge them rent. Would put it in an account and give it back to them when they buy a house. But it’s good learning to budget etc.

Wouldn’t tell them I’m giving it back

I think you should charge DD2 rent.
If she needs support like DD1, then you can stop.
Different choices require different solutions.

We don't charge DS rent on condition that half his pay goes into savings. He's saving for his own house and should be able to afford it in about 2.5 years.

Different if you need a contribution from them.

You can’t pay for one DD rent but charge another DD rent for staying at home. That’s really not fair. I’d feel there was favouritism going on if I was DD 2. Apprenticeships and first jobs really dont pay very much as you’re at the bottom rung of the ladder to start so to assume she’d be on “good” wages is not true. If you go ahead with your plan, it looks like you are financially rewarding your first DD for going to university which is unfair as uni is not for everyone.

Agreeing not to charge rent as long as she is saving some could be a good option. She recently opened a help to buy ISA so we could agree to put her ‘rent’ into that.

I won’t charge mine either to live with us. It’s their childhood home and they won’t suddenly not be my children nor cost me more than they do now.

I would expect them to save though if earning.

I agree with above poster, however I stayed at home until I was about 25 and my parents did ask for some ‘rent’ as it would help me realise what it was like to live in the real world. However when I did leave home they had been saving all that money and gave it to me back in a lump sum and it was great!

When I worked full time and was still at home I paid 300 a month. I remember moaning like fuck about it but that was the rules. I was earning about 1200 a month at time with no real outgoings so I still had 900 a month to myself and was always out and about doing stuff.
Unknown to me my parents saved this 300 a month and it went towards a house deposit.

I wouldn’t
I think it would feel very uneven to DD2 as you don’t charge her sister when she is at home and send her money for her rent when she is away

What I would do is say to DD2 no rent but if you live at home you must put X amount a week into savings for your future rent deposit when you leave. If she is on a small starting salary then that amount might be literally a few pounds but that would feel fair.

If she's saving herself for her future then no I wouldn't charge her. If she's just spending most of her salary then I'd charge her rent and bills but keep the money aside for her future.

Depends if she gets a decent job then I would expect some rent, may be save some in a savings account for future deposit but if she’s going to get an apprenticeship then I wouldn’t as I don’t think they get very much.

DD2 will be on a very low wage to begin with. Why not keep it simple and say the family rule is no rent until 21/22?

I was never charged rent whenever I lived at home for the summer, I would never charge mine rent either.

I wouldn't charge either of them, or I'd ask for a small amount towards food during holiday periods from both of them if it was financially needed.

MN seems to err quite strongly towards charging board the second a child has any source of income though. Apparently it teaches them how to manage money, even when the parent treats their children differently (because obviously only one of their children needs to learn).

I personally would never expect my children to pay to live in my home. It's just not something I would do, charge them money to live with me.

I paid board when I still lived at home but I'd have been pissed if my sibling was being supported whilst at uni and I was paying board because I chose a different path. You need to be consistent.

I paid 'rent' as soon as I had a job even if it was part time and a token £20 a month.

Has your DD who doesn't want to go to uni considered the network rail apprenticeship scheme? That has recently re opened. I did it nearly 15 years ago and absolutely loved it, still love my job.

I used to pay my parents rent as I didn’t go to uni. However my DB went to uni and my parents helped support him money wise and never charged him rent (even when he moved back in for 5 years after uni!) I wasn’t best pleased about it.
You could always put the money your charging your second DC into a ISA account or premium bonds for a house for when she’s ready to move though, that would probably stop any resentment.

I like the sound of the savings option. One of my sisters got charged nothing and left home at 21 to go travelling. One sister went to uni and parents paid her rent, I went to work and was charged £50 a week.

In hindsight I'm not sure it was very fair, my sisters where able to save for cars and holidays and I wasn't. My dad did eventually help me buy a car when I was 19, as in he bought it and I then Paid him £50 a month (£600 car 20 years ago).

My parents were well off so this was about teaching me the value of money. A lesson I guess my sisters didn't need ( nor me I'd been part time working since 14!)

Going into adult life with a savings plan is a really good idea in today's money.

I think part of the problem is calling it rent not board for lodgings

Rent is what you pay to live somewhere board is what you pay for food laundry and bills
You need to be fair, which doesn't always mean the same just because you contribute to DD1 uni costs doesn't mean DD2 is entitled to the equivalent in cash. However if DD1 is allowed to have free board when she is working in holidays then it would not be fair for DD2 to be paying board at same time when earning a very similar sum for the same week as both will be close to minimum wage.

DD1 has a PT job and is paying for her food and some of her rent. So it's not unreasonable to expect DD2 to do the same with her FT earnings.

Thanks for all of the responses. I think we will discuss it with her and let her know that we will not charge her rent to give her an opportunity to save some of her income.

@Jessie9323 she is looking into apprenticeships at the moment so I will get her to check it out, thanks

On apprenticeship wages, I would think she'll probably have less income than her elder sister and no student discount etc to help her budget. Have you looked at this aspect?