Charging your children rent

[mumto2teenagers]

Genuinely looking for opinions as DH and I disagree on this.

We have 2 DD’s.

DD1 - in second year at uni living away from home. She receives the basic maintenance amount as part of her student loan but this only covers approx 1/2 of her rent, she also has a part time job and uses that money for food and general expenses. Anything she has left she puts towards her rent. We then pay the rest of her rent. She comes home in holidays, works part time and saves this money for the next term at uni, we don’t charge her rent for the time she is at home.

DD2 - is currently deciding what to do after her A levels. She is not keen on uni so is considering either an apprenticeship or full time employment.

If DD2 is working full time would you charge her rent because she now has a full time job.

One of us thinks rent should start when you get a full time job the other thinks this is unfair on DD2 as her sister stays in holidays rent free and we still support her as she chose to go to uni.

However, charging your own family to live in their home as a lesson is as baffling and as alien to me as voluntarily giving the bank your mortgage money after it is paid off.

That doesn’t make much sense.

Housing costs are a fact of life (whether that’s rent or mortgage).

I don’t see any harm in getting DC, who are earning well, used to that.

Make sure you treat them exactly the same as each other, or you’re creating a host of resentments that will continue to play out longer than your lifetime. If you help out one with rent then you should also help out the other. The working child may appear to need it less, but the child at uni will eventually get a higher paid job etc etc and frankly uni is much more fun than work, maybe the working child would like to put the cash towards a holiday... You can’t allow for all the variables when providing support so the only fair thing is to give equal money to each.

(Personally I would never charge my child rent. Or my parents, should they ever need to move in. That’s part of what family means to me: those who are able, support those who are less able.)

Ds has started his first full time job. He will transfer £400 monthly to our account. That’s approx 10% of his monthly salary. He will be saving most of the rest for a deposit for his own house.

I wouldn’t but I’d encourage her to start saving . If she was blowing it all while you paid for everything at home then I’d probably change my mind .

Housing costs are a fact of life if your house costs money, laurie

If it doesn’t, if you own outright - then they don’t.

Every situation is different to say you should never charge your adult children rent is ridiculous, my son is nearly 30 and earns over 30k a year, he doesn’t want to move out, he likes living here but does that mean I should never charge him rent? I wouldn’t of charged him rent while he was at Uni and not while he was getting on his feet. He was unemployed for 6 months through no fault of his own, of course we didn’t charge him rent, we also helped buy him a car, we’re a family so help each other but if he’s working and earning good money surely he should help with contributing towards the bills?

I dont know if generalizations help the OP in regard her specific situation (DD1 in Uni, parents support her by contributing to her rent, DD2 is at home, starts work, should DD2 pay rent)

it seems the parents are not in agreement if DD2 should or should not pay rent

I am curious, how you decided and if this thread helped you OP @mumto2teenagers

(my tuppence was: if you pay DD1 some of her Uni rent, you cant take a rent from DD2, to not breed resentment between the sisters. When you stop paying your DD1 towards her rent, you can take a rent/board money from DD2), just imho)

We're in a similar situation to you OP. DS1 is away at uni, DS2 is 18 and working part time while he thinks about what he wants to do. I won't charge him rent even when he's working full time, for the first year or so anyway. I want him to have money for driving lessons and to be able to go on holidays with friends, see the world a bit! I will get him to take over his phone bill, Spotify, and get though, which I pay at the moment.

I'll be paying towards DS1's rent until he leaves uni at 22, so I don't feel it would be fair to expect DS2 to pay. If I was struggling financially, it would be different, but I'm not.

I think if DS1 moves back after uni, and they're both still living at home at 22, I probably will ask them for rent, as it will do them good to learn to budget. However I'll put that into savings for them for when they need it for a deposit, etc. I really don't want to profit from my children.

Housing costs are a fact of life if your house costs money, laurie

If it doesn’t, if you own outright - then they don’t

Gosh you are lucky. Because here in the Uk you still have to pay council tax, buildings and contents insurance, gas, electricity and phone / broadband even if you own your house outright. Plus service charges if you live in a flat.

If it doesn’t, if you own outright - then they don’t.

People wealthy enough to buy outright are extremely few and far between.

Gosh you are lucky. Because here in the Uk you still have to pay council tax, buildings and contents insurance, gas, electricity and phone / broadband even if you own your house outright. Plus service charges if you live in a flat.

Yeah we’re in Ireland and we own outright so we still have to pay
Electricity
House insurance
Property tax- €100ish a year
I use my mobile for internet as it’s unlimited
So there is never NO costs I suppose...