Charging your children rent

[mumto2teenagers]

Genuinely looking for opinions as DH and I disagree on this.

We have 2 DD’s.

DD1 - in second year at uni living away from home. She receives the basic maintenance amount as part of her student loan but this only covers approx 1/2 of her rent, she also has a part time job and uses that money for food and general expenses. Anything she has left she puts towards her rent. We then pay the rest of her rent. She comes home in holidays, works part time and saves this money for the next term at uni, we don’t charge her rent for the time she is at home.

DD2 - is currently deciding what to do after her A levels. She is not keen on uni so is considering either an apprenticeship or full time employment.

If DD2 is working full time would you charge her rent because she now has a full time job.

One of us thinks rent should start when you get a full time job the other thinks this is unfair on DD2 as her sister stays in holidays rent free and we still support her as she chose to go to uni.

I wouldn’t charge an apprentice rent and bills money, but maybe ask for a contribution towards food.
DD1 is working to fund herself as well as studying, and managing her own bills and budgets - not being fully funded and supported by her parents. DD2 would benefit from having a little responsibility to pay her own way, too.
It’s impossible to be scrupulously equal when they are taking different paths IMO. Equal and fair are not the same thing.

I was charged rent in my gap years before starting uni and after uni but before my graduate job began. I fully support this - you earn, you contribute. Mine was about 20 in the late 90s so nothing like actual costs. But a life lesson that living costs and you need to budget, comtribute, support yourself etc. Only when I moved out and started paying bills and mortgage did I realise just how bloody generous their rent was. It was a great lesson though in putting a certain amount aside and budgeting for the fun stuff.

As long as you're fully prepared to pay your children the going rate for anything and everything that they do for you when you become elderly and infirm then it's perfectly reasonable to charge them rent for living in the family home.

I'd charge rent. Once they're in employment I think it's part of learning to budget/ manage finances.

We've always says we would, but the money would go into a separate account to be saved and then gifted back to them as a deposit towards their first home.

Given you are helping dd1 with rent etc I would not charge rent to dd2. It seems incredibly unfair to do so. You are financially helping dd1 and expecting money from dd2 where if she went to university she would be given rent money.

It would be worked out as a percentage of what their net pay is.

My daughter is 20 and works fulltime, she now pays 300 a months rent, i put the whole lot in a separate account , she doesnt know, and when she moves out it will help with a deposit/setting her up.
So far their is almost 3k saved up.

Why immoral? I paid 'rent' to my parents (who didn't need the money) over 50 years ago! It was part of starting to stand on your own two feet and not depending on them.

Maybe different culture. I never paid anything to my parents. But I moved out first chance because I was just tired of having to listen to them.

just as important as charging board or perhaps more important is contributing time wise to the smooth running of house doing some cleaning of common spaces not just own bedroom , loading unloading dishwasher or washing up, cooking occasionally taking bins out if asked
my DD is only 10 but finances allowing I would never charge rent but I would charge for a share of bills and food once earning, at present she has pocket money to buy wants not needs I cover all needs and quite a few wants too, but once earning someone should definitely be covering wants ( apart from presents) and should gradually start covering their own needs depending on income

No I wouldn't charge her rent.

@sall74 what a load of absolute shite

Your supporting dd1 so she survives dd2 would have a higher income than dd1 and should expect to pay bills.

No. I would not charge rent. An Apprenticeship is still considered to be a form of higher education. Especially if it is a degree apprenticeship. Apprentice wages are purposely set well below a survival pay/minimum wage level because the government assumes the apprentice will be living at home rent free.

I would not even require they save or take “rent” and put it in savings for them. That’s not letting them manage their own money.

My daughter gives me £200 a month, but she does get gas and electric if i need it. Also she will pay for petrol as i take her to work.

We have agreed that we won't charge rent until they are earning a full time living wage, bringing home around £1500, it will then be put into a savings account for when they move out.

Currently dd1 has a year left at uni, has had a part time job since 16 and has saved all her wages and just uses tips as fun money. With no real input from us she has £30k saved. Ds is in his first year at uni and works part time also, he has been saving a good chunk of his wages and will soon be catching up with his sister! Dd2 is still at school.

Right now we don't need the extra board money, but as dh has a terminal illness this could change.

I'd base my decision on a couple of things.

First, does she need to learn to budget, or is she ok at it already? My parents never charged me rent, but I was super-sensible with money and they knew that I was saving hard. If I'd been throwing money around everywhere, I think they'd have taken a different view (although they might have put it in a bank account). You're not there to allow your children to live the life of Riley on your dime, but if they're good with money then you should support them in building for the future.

Second, do you need the money? If you do, then absolutely expect her to pay board. If not, I think it's unfair to charge her and not her sister.

Bear in mind that if she's getting a job straight from school, she won't be earning much, and it may well be that her lifetime earnings are a lot lower than her sister's. It might be nice to give her a bit of a leg-up at this stage if you can.

My sons nearly 29, he earns £40k a year, should I not be charging him rent?

I would never charge unless I had to. No one I know charges their kids rent. MN usually does charge rent. I would get them to save a certain amount instead. I never paid rent to my parents and was perfectly capable of budgeting and running my home from 18 when I moved out.

My 21 year old has paid £200 a month since she left full time education. To begin with we didn’t tell her we were saving the money for her, but then her sister moved back in briefly, and wasn’t working or paying anything, she said it wasn’t fair (which it wasn’t), so I told her. She doesn’t quibble about paying it, and I think learning to budget is a good thing, even though £200 wouldn’t go anywhere in the real world. It includes her room, bills except phone (which she only pays £10 a month for because we bought her the handset outright), food, laundry, netflix, spotify. She doesn’t drive, as shes dyspraxic, and doesn’t want to at the moment, and currently she gets lifts to and from work. Shes got her own bathroom, shes allowed pets. I think shes very lucky!

It is difficult with kids in very different situations.

My thinking involves knowing credit checks and reports like to see payment history and a lot of places require documentation of address using certain bills (often not mobiles), and really just part of a natural rise in contributing to the household that has happened since they were small. I actually did this when a friend needed to come live with us, which did raise our costs and we weren't - and still aren't really - in a place to take all that though it's far below market and flexible enough to be quickly adjusted for all sides. With my teenagers, I imagine we may do similar in a few years, though I do like the savings ideas many have mentioned.

We went over the bills and we picked one bill, one that was relevant to them and was higher, and put it in their name and made it their responsibility. The rest, we adjust according to job and time - with a lower paid with fewer hours, the friend did a lot more tasks around the house and with their car, two job changes later their time is more limited so now it's more typical cash rent that covers the additional costs.

Once they’d graduated and were earning I charged mine around half of what they’d have had to pay in a flat share, and obv. incl. bills and food.

We didn’t actually need the money but I don’t think it does them any favours to live rent free - it will be that much of a shock when they finally move out and realise what a reasonable roof over your head, heating and hot water etc. actually cost.

Anyone who doesn’t need the money can always save it for them.
We didn’t specifically save it but did later help them with house purchases.

Education or apprenticeship = no rent

There is a legal expectation that parents provide housing for their children up to the age of 18 or when they finish full time-education. For example when I graduated my Dad stopped getting housing benefits for me, and I started paying rent. This is also why loans and grants are based on parental income.

I would personally include apprenticeships in this as it's very low wage and education.

Full time employment = rent

I wouldn't want to give the false impression that their wages are better then they are by not charging for living expenses, and allowing it all to be disposable income.

I would put it all aside for them in a savings account, if I could afford too, and turn around and give to them for a deposit.

I paid my parents rent when I was working from the age of 18. My sister went to Uni so didn't pay rent until she graduated and started work.

I paid £60p/m back then and was earning £600p/m net.

I didn't know it at the time but my mum saved some of the rent I gave her and used it to contribute towards my wedding.

I'll be charging my DC rent once they start earnjng.

Tax credits and UC cut your rent entitlement if a child starts an apprentice, child benefit stops.
For many they have no choice on taking rent.

I think it depends on

How much they're earning
How much you need the money
What they'd be doing with it otherwise

In this case, I wouldn't. Apprenticeships don't pay the big bucks. Encourage her to save a bit though.

However in the situation where the child is earning very well, spending very freely and the parents are struggling, then yes, absolutely.