smoking

[Hopex3]

AIBU to think smoking if you have children is an incredibly selfish decision? having a debate with a friend who claims as she does it out of sight of her children it is not and she is entitled to a vice as she devotes her life to the children. from my view, it can cause illnesses, costs money that could go on other things for the family and quite frankly isnt a healthy thing for a child to be around (will still be on clothes/hair etc.) even if they dont see it? think I feel strongly as I remember as a child putting a cushion over my face to avoid the smoke from my dads 30 a day habit - I really do think its revolting

this isn't about anything other than smoking tho. as an example one of the children needed some new shoes but they had to wait a few weeks as the mum didnt have the money. she still smoked 20 a day during those weeks. please dont tell me this isnt selfish as I will know I have just invited the trolls out who love nothing more than a good old argument on these threads

You didn't start a thread saying "AIBU to think addictions are selfish, especially when children have to go without?"

You haven't explained what they are going without though, maybe you should explain this if it is the main point of your post.

Going without food and shelter is different to going without the latest video games console.

Difference between NEEDING new shoes and 'could do with' new shoes.
Seriously stop being so preachy, bet your mate thinks your a right Pain in the arse.

I did say when it could go on things for the family instead...........

okay so fags over the childs new shoes. good to know

and on that note I am out. that's shocking

Why don't you talk to your friend about it instead a winging to strangers on an Internet forum

I did say when it could go on things for the family instead...........

How is that the same as saying the kids are going without? Especially things like shoes?

All money could go on things for the family but neglect is an entirely different subject.

How do you know kids go without treats ? In some families it might be the case but not always the case

"they go without treats etc. because the mum spends money on fags but okay that's not selfish lol"

It's gone from treats to essentials, so which is it?

We are all entitled to a share of household money. She's choosing to spend hers on cigarettes. Some parents will spend it on other none essentials.

If she's so short of money, is it stress that's keeping her smoking?

Martyr mummy's are a pain in the arse, try not to completly turn into one.

You moved from nothing to going without treats and now not having new shoes.

Mate, this what you are foing here is not how you "debate" things. This is just getting into a hissy fit and drip feeding because people disagreed with you.

OP are the kids going without food, clothes etc. Addiction to nicotine is horrid, I smoked when I had children and cried everyday wishing I didn't and I tried so hard but my life was chaotic and I struggled to quit. I have now but would never judge those whose choices are different to mine.

Do you drink alcohol?

OP flouncing because not everyone agrees. It's not shocking not to vilify someone for different choices to your own.

YANBU I feel sick looking back at how much my parents smoked around us when we were younger. I watch parents walking with their kids smoking alongside them. It’s disgusting. Set an example to your kids ffs!
I was shopping back in the summer and saw a woman throw her fags and lighter into the pram with the baby. Vile!

This Country has a bigger problem with alcohol if you do want something to worry over, however, I think you should mind your own business.

This Country has a bigger problem with alcohol if you do want something to worry over

And obesity. The OP must be apoplectic at all the extra food some parents eat instead of spending the extra money on the kids

I'm not sure why you're debating this with her. It doesn't have any impact on you.
If her children are going without because she has to finance her addiction, that's on her. Let her get on with it.
I personally don't smoke and find it grim so I'll never have the dilemma over whether to get my kid some shoes or buy fags. If someone else chooses that situation its entirely their business.

But babynut this mum isnt smoking in front of kids at all. Just the mere fact she smokes apparently is disgusting.

Anyone who owns a car, who uses electricity is ruining the planet. I guess you don't do those things?

Stop preaching. It's revolting.

I bet the friend is really enjoying this "debate"

You can have your opinion but I bet there is a lot of things you do that could be judged.

You should have a look at your ability to have an opinion and force it on others because you could have issues yourself when communicating with your dc.

Well you went from very general,judgemental issues to "she buys fags but not school shoes".

DD has plenty of shoes, toys,treats and whatever else she needs. Is it ok with you if I smoke?

What is the point of starting a thread like this then flouncing after your drip feed doesn't make everyone magically agree with you?

My DDad smoked, I never went without.

Now if someone who I considered to be a friend was struggling with the cigs, this is what I would do - I'd go to Home Bargain and get them a cheapo 88Vape set up - I think it's around £8-9. I'd give it to them and say 'I know you aren't ready to quit yet but I've got you this, just to try'.

What I wouldn't do is start a snotty thread on MN about them, what on earth is that going to change? It won't help her quit will it? If you were a decent mate, you'd want to help.