smoking

[Hopex3]

AIBU to think smoking if you have children is an incredibly selfish decision? having a debate with a friend who claims as she does it out of sight of her children it is not and she is entitled to a vice as she devotes her life to the children. from my view, it can cause illnesses, costs money that could go on other things for the family and quite frankly isnt a healthy thing for a child to be around (will still be on clothes/hair etc.) even if they dont see it? think I feel strongly as I remember as a child putting a cushion over my face to avoid the smoke from my dads 30 a day habit - I really do think its revolting

But OP wants to win,not help.

You could put that logic to everything, drink, treats, clothes you dont actually need. Don't get the bus when you could walk. Where does it stop?

This didn’t go the way you wanted, did it @Hopex3 ?

You were hoping everyone would pile in on this woman and agree with you. 🤭

But you realised it wasn’t going your way and so started to claim her kids were going without because of her smoking. Not originally mentioned in your post...

Keep your beak out. When you realise the issues this country has with obesity, alcohol consumption, diet, exercise (or lack thereof) your head is going to explode...

I’d worry about your DH getting bladdered and chucking up (expensive hobby) rather than your friend smoking.

So, this thread is "this is my opinion, I don't agree and refuse to see any other point of view, so I'm going to flounce". What was the point? 😆

The putting life at risk is just stupid. You put your life t risk every day doing even basic thing s like getting dressd, walking downstairs or cooking etc. No one knows how they are going to die and I don’t think smoking kills as many people as say drinking and eating too much.

Urgh. Seriously mind your own bloody business!

Do you buy wine etc? Do you buy make up? Do you do any hobbies? Do you even have a life? Yes kids come first but if you have the income people don't spend every single penny on the kids!

And what's the point in drip feeding the whole thread and only mentioning "shoes" after several posts?

@MidnightCircus exactly! Hate these posters who don't like the opinion they have asked for then just go! It's pathetic

I'm not really fussed or bothered about this going my way, I actually have a life outside of mumsnet aswell and quite frankly the minute people started suggesting that the kids going without regardless whether they are necessities or treats I clocked out. not the sort of people I want to have this conversation with, I dont agree with it most of you seem to. end of discussion - what more do you want me to say? I wont change my opinion and have put forward the reasons why. she doesn't want to quit - why do you think we were having this debate in the first place so bore off with all the oh I'm sure she wants to and how smug you are for quitting etc. I'm not responding because I have nothing else to add. no I dont drink. and the person who brought up the father of my baby that I posted about in the summer? guess what - not with him anymore so try again with your goady posts. not gonna apologise for thinking its selfish to put smoking above your kids.

I’d say mind your own. Alcohol is equally bad, and as long as she’s not doing it in the car or in the house around her kids then they won’t experience the effects of passive smoking, so what’s your bother? From your OP too, it seems they are not being deprived of any necessities either.

Also I’ve heard the same thing about it being more addictive than heroin. It can be a real problem for some people.

For context, I’m childless, but only ever smoke in social contexts.

weirdos who have the time and care to go through peoples posts from months ago

Why on earth would you post on AIBU then get arsey and immediately defensive when people say you are being unreasonable?

If you just wanted a page to rant then go on another thread where you can moan about your smoking 'friend' rather than one that allows alternative opinions that may very well disagree with you.

Quite frankly I'd be horrified if I was the woman in question finding out that you think she's selfish and being judgemental about her and slagging her off more when people defend her. I certainly would not be your friend anymore. I'm judging your behaviour far more than I am hers! Have a read back through your responses and maybe have a little word with yourself.

I can definitely see why you were having a "debate" with your friend and why she'd disagree with you.

You don't really know how this debating thing works , do you?

I think it’s not of your business, most of us are selfish sometimes, do you drink? Are you overweight? addicted to shopping? Lip fillers/Botox? Beauty products? All normal things. Some could damage your health and/or cost family money. Smoking isn’ illegal

seems to me that actually I'm the one who is not allowed an opinion and the majority of people on here have been offended by my view rather than the other way round lol. I'm not offended at all, I just dont agree with it, same as a lot of you dont agree with me. people use these threads as an opportunity to absolutely flame the original posters, happens on majority on here so trust me I'm not bothered about how you judge me from this. y'all judge each other and everyone on here for everything. someone could start a thread saying the sky is blue and you would get a load of goady posters saying it were red

Ok, but not agreeing with other people and refusing to hear their point of view because you're right, end of, is not a conversation or a debate. So what was the point of this? I'm baffled haha

It is an addiction that is phenomenally hard to beat.

Yet another snidey, sneery, bitchy thread with an OP desperate for moral superiority from randoms on the internet. I spend money on myself sometimes, OMG! I'm so selfish!

I'm not over weight and no I dont buy beauty products. why are you trying to villianise me because I dont agree with putting cigarettes over your children? why are you all so mad about me having that view? imagine if I started a thread saying 'am I unreasonable to buy a packet of fags over my children's shoes' and it was about myself. I would be an awful person then too so this is why I'm not debating it any more because you all pick and choose when it suits you huns

okay I give up lol literally not debating this at this point when the children going without is not selfish. crazy

No , no.....please elaborate all the times you haven't bought juice, junk food, meals out, alcohol/clothes when that money could go on your kids?

No one's defending kids going without.

You've just got a shit argument applicable to more than just smoking

I've definitley not been the bitchy one here. you all make these threads that way by trying to constantly goad the original poster. I should of learnt my lesson last time on here

How much is spent on fizzy drinks, fattening/anything that isn't 100% healthy foods, sports that can cause injury/accident, anything else? Costs money, damages health or can cause life changing injuries? OP, it's not your DCs or finances affected, the DCs aren't hungry or cold because of it so it's none of your business. Would you be ok with her going through every decision you make to tell you she thought you were wrong to do something as a Mother?

no I'm sorry I'm on a thread where I'm being villanised for suggesting putting smoking before children is selfish. I'm completely over it

"AIBU to think smoking if you have children is an incredibly selfish decision?"

Yanbu, I couldn't agree more. It's irresponsible imo.

although it's an 'easy-agree-with-me' thread

^ exactly what this was. OP was blatantly hoping everyone would jump on her bandwagon and put her on a pedestal for being such an excellent, better-than-her-friend mother.