Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Overheard comments about weight.

223 replies

Ao92 · 18/01/2020 12:45

Hi everyone, I’ll keep this brief as I’m still in the moment and looking for quick opinions. A very long story short I suffer badly with anxiety and depression, no sob stories but I have barely left the house in 12 years. I bought a dog 6 months ago and when I did I vowed to him every single that I’d him. Up until now that has always been in places where other people don’t really go. Or at night in the dark. Until today. Now another important thing to note is that I’m very overweight, mainly due to no exercise and comfort eating but also because of side effects of medication (which I’ve now been weaned off so have actually lost a stone in a month woo). So today I decided to sod it, I’m taking him to the beach. It’s Saturday, the sun is shining and I underestimated how busy it’d be. But anyway, did the walk and was fine and lived. I was just about to get back into the car when I heard somebody say “Jesus Christ she’s huge”, I turned around and a family of 3, with a daughter around aged about 20, then continued to say “you wouldn’t let yourself go that far would you”. They all laughed and continued walking but the daughter turned around and saw that I had heard and then laughed again and whispered something to her mum. This happened about half an hour ago. I was in too much shock, and crying, to say anything so I began to drive home but pulled in and decided to write them a note just stating that kindness cost nothing and you don’t know the damage your words can do. I’ve driven back to the beach and their car is still here. Should I put the note on the windscreen or not? Thank you.

OP posts:
Trumpleton · 18/01/2020 12:49

What horrible people!!
Your note might make you feel better, I often wish too late I'd said something in these kinds of situations.
Well done for getting out with your dog and going to the beach. Regardless of your size no one need comment on other people's appearance.

Bluntness100 · 18/01/2020 12:50

Op well done for getting out and about. Don't let these horrible idiots bring you down. Their words say more about them than you. And no don't leave the note. They won't care.

Try to put it behind you and just keep on. You're doing great.

Oldishusernewname · 18/01/2020 12:52

Fuckers! Please don't let them stop you getting out, they are bad mannered pricks

Flowers
lljkk · 18/01/2020 12:52

I wish I could help you grow a thicker skin.
Yes that was rude & they should have scolded the child (allowing that their laughter may have been anxious embarrassment btw).

What matters is,
What other people think about you is very unimportant.

EssentialHummus · 18/01/2020 12:53

Yes leave the note. Fuckers.

Halo1234 · 18/01/2020 12:54

Leave the note. Good for u. They are small minded judgemental horrible people. Dont let them get to u. Good for u for writing the note. They should be told. Hope u enjoyed your walk and it's the start of a new weekend routine.

TidyDancer · 18/01/2020 12:54

I would leave the note. It will help you take some power back.

I've been where you are. I remember coming out of a gig once and I'd had a brilliant time and a group of men shouted at me about how big I was. Ruined my whole night. Logically I know they were arseholes and I didn't deserve it but it's difficult to forget comments like that.

Liverbird77 · 18/01/2020 12:55

What utter tossers!
I am so sorry this ruined your lovely day. All I can think is that they must feel pretty shit about themselves if they have to be critical of others!
Please, please keep enjoying your walks.
I wouldn't leave a note. The best revenge is to live well!

PixieDustt · 18/01/2020 12:55

I'd put the note on the car but I'd put a lot worse in that note.

Don't let a comment from narrow minded arseholes effect your confidence or your day.

They can body shame all they want. It says a lot about them imho.

IndecentFeminist · 18/01/2020 12:55

At 20 she wasn't a child

Pinkette06 · 18/01/2020 12:56

Yes leave the note. Maybe it will make them think about how horrible they were.

Namethecat · 18/01/2020 12:56

If you think it will give you closure then put it on.
But please do not let these people get under your skin. They are not worth it . They have not travelled your journey .
Well done for getting out after such a long time, and do you know what , in a few more weeks the spring bulbs will be poping out , and all the beauty of spring will be around us.
Look forward to being out in all the seasons this year. You deserve it .

howrudeforme · 18/01/2020 12:56

Awful ignorant people.

If note helps you feel better, do it, but if they’re local and they see at some later stage they might escalate into verbal abuse.

Don’t let them stop you from living your life outdoors.

When you’re feeling up to it and stronger, there are dog walking groups you could join perhaps.

Aliensrus · 18/01/2020 12:57

I’d leave the note too as it would make me feel better.

Then ignore the horrible people and focus on you and your dog.

foodandwine89 · 18/01/2020 12:58

They’re horrible people and you just had the bad luck to come across them and overhear them. I promise you that most people don’t think like that. And people who do, will judge almost everyone and say terrible things about them for anything. This is not about you or your weight, this is about them being horrible people.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 18/01/2020 12:59

I'd leave a note. It would more be along the lines of 'I can lose the weight but you'll find it harder to lose the nasty judgemental personality'

FecktheBoss · 18/01/2020 13:00

I'd leave the note, take a photo of the car including reg, close up photo of the note then post it online anonymously pointing out how nasty the owners of the car must be to do something like this to someone.

shinynewapple2020 · 18/01/2020 13:00

Please don't let these stupid people's comment put you off walking on the beach with your dog. It's a lovely thing to do for both you and your dog and without those arseholes should improve both your mental health and your weight loss. Well done on what you've done so far.

I don't really know what to say with the note - hopefully it would make them think and save someone else being victim to their thoughtlessness but some people will be thoughtless arseholes no matter what.

DragonMamma · 18/01/2020 13:02

That’s awful. I would leave the note so they knew how much damage their words can have on people.

And good on you for losing a stone and getting out today - that can’t have been easy! Flowers

Gentleness · 18/01/2020 13:03

I can't think of any of my family or friends who wouldn't pull me up if I said something so nasty in their presence. Some would be quite vocal and the others would refuse to join in giggling and leave an unpleasant silence. How awful that she doesn't have people around her who value her enough to want her to be better.

incognitomum · 18/01/2020 13:06

I'd leave the note....scratched into their car Wink

Op well done for getting out. So sorry you came across some wicked toxic people. Please don't let them stop you.

I had agoraphobia when dcs were little and got crippling anxiety. I totally relate to not getting out. I used to struggle to breathe and felt like there was a rock in my chest. Thank goodness I don't have it now. I'm convinced my anxiety is hormone related.

Anyway please keep going out. Maybe put headphones on with music or calming meditation on your phone/ipod? Then you can focus on fresh air...your dog and ignore people.

FlowersStar

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 18/01/2020 13:07

I'd be devastated if my daughter behaved so shamefully. Try not to take it to heart as she was clearly not brought up very well. And yes, leave the note. and make sure you scratch every single panel on their car

namechange1041 · 18/01/2020 13:08

Hope you're ok OP.
Ignore the dickwads you're a better person than they are.
Dont stop going out! Carry on you're doing so well!
I would leave the note as well.
Flowers for you

MumW · 18/01/2020 13:12

Definitely leave the note - probably water off a duck's back but, you never know, it might make them think and it will make you feel better - then don't give them another thought, they just aren't worth it.

Congratulations on getting out and for losing a stone in a month. Keep up the good work.

nellyburt · 18/01/2020 13:13

Leave the note. They are dicks.

Swipe left for the next trending thread