Overheard comments about weight.

[Ao92]

Hi everyone, I’ll keep this brief as I’m still in the moment and looking for quick opinions. A very long story short I suffer badly with anxiety and depression, no sob stories but I have barely left the house in 12 years. I bought a dog 6 months ago and when I did I vowed to him every single that I’d him. Up until now that has always been in places where other people don’t really go. Or at night in the dark. Until today. Now another important thing to note is that I’m very overweight, mainly due to no exercise and comfort eating but also because of side effects of medication (which I’ve now been weaned off so have actually lost a stone in a month woo). So today I decided to sod it, I’m taking him to the beach. It’s Saturday, the sun is shining and I underestimated how busy it’d be. But anyway, did the walk and was fine and lived. I was just about to get back into the car when I heard somebody say “Jesus Christ she’s huge”, I turned around and a family of 3, with a daughter around aged about 20, then continued to say “you wouldn’t let yourself go that far would you”. They all laughed and continued walking but the daughter turned around and saw that I had heard and then laughed again and whispered something to her mum. This happened about half an hour ago. I was in too much shock, and crying, to say anything so I began to drive home but pulled in and decided to write them a note just stating that kindness cost nothing and you don’t know the damage your words can do. I’ve driven back to the beach and their car is still here. Should I put the note on the windscreen or not? Thank you.

Just say to yourself - well it is true, I am big. But fuck it I am doing something about it and this is my battle. Bit by bit I am winning. I am winning in spite of negativity, because I am strong. They are so so so so so so so irrelevant. Your dog isn’t though and deserves the walks to continue. As do you.

Do leave the note. They will probably be horrified and mortified and rightfully so!

Stupid cow. Yes definitely leave the note! Hope she feels bad about what she's done and may think next time she says something hurtful. I'm raging for you!

Well done on getting out. Please don't let this stop you for going out again soon. X

Leave the note.

Well done for getting out, keep going with it and ignore those stupid, cruel people

People fucking suck.

And that's the best explanation of it.

You however are doing well and making your health better, and doing a great job caring for your dog.

Don't stop going out.

Yes. Leave the note. Make them think. Twats.
And yeah, good for you for getting out. (Wish I was near a beach....+wistful+)

Yes leave the note... don’t let the fuckers get you down...

Keep going out with the dog and enjoys your beach walks

Don’t leave the note. They aren’t worth even that effort and you don’t want to stop being able to walk there, feeling safe. Just keep going.

I’m not sure a note will do any good, but if it will make you feel better, do it. There are some vile ignorant people about but please don’t let them put you off.

You could leave the note if it will make you feel better.

It might however, make you feel even more anxious about going to that place again in case there’s a confrontation.

Do what feels right for you and be kind to yourself.

Don't leave the note. It will make people of that sort defensive at best.

How extremely unpleasant, ill-mannered and graceless of them to comment and laugh. They've told you all you need to know about them - that they're coarse, unpleasant people. You don't need to engage with that.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other OP.

These people don’t know you, so whatever they said shows us who they are, not who you are.

You’re doing marvellously.

I wouldn’t leave the note, not the way you’ve written it. It makes you look like a victim and actually will give a much worse impression. No, you don’t need to care what impression you make, but the fact that you respond makes it clear that you do. Do not engage at all.

for you. You are doing amazing. Please don't take these negative comments into tomorrow think about all the positivity you've had on here.

Well done on getting out and about. It will have taken a lot for you to do that walk and I hope it doesn’t put you off doing it again. The key thing to remember is that there is something wrong with them, not you.

Hopefully, your confidence will improve to the stage where you could approach people like that and say ‘As we’re clearly giving our unsolicited opinions on the appearances of random strangers, I just thought you ought to know that your nose looks ridiculously large, your hair looks like it was cut by the local council grass cutters and purple is really not your colour’ then walk away with your head held high.

Absolute cunts. I'd be so ashamed if my daughter acted in this way. Please don't let these dicks knock you off course.

It's happened, you've survived. Tomorrow is supposed to be another sunny day. Get back to the beach with your dear dog , and do it again. And again.
Very best wishes for your brave return to health.

They are c*nts - and that's one of the few swearwords i rarely use because it is too horrible to even think.

Ignore them (easy to say, I know).

I was with a group of women on Wednesday and the conversation turned, as conversations do, to "What would you do/not do if you had your time over again.

Without exception, every single on of us agreed that we would take no notice of the comments or opinions of people we didn't know, didn't like, didn't care about us or we had no respect for.

You don't know this family, from what you have had to do with them you have no reason to like them, they don't care a toss about you, even to the degree of showing you any courtesy - and how can you possibly respect people like that? You can't. They have hit every button!

You have done amazingly well losing so much weight, and to have managed to go out of doors when you have been effectively trapped in your home for so long is beyond amazing.

I would bet you that none of them would have shown such courage.

Leave the note. It may make them less vile the next time (though probably not) but you will know that you have stood up for yourself, and will feel much better for it. Though personally I would also let down all of their tyres and pee in their petrol tank

YOU will get better and go from strength to strength. THEY will probably remain twats - as Judge Judy says - you can't fix stupid.

You know what, OP? Your dog thinks you're perfect now and will still think you're perfect when you've lost lots of weight on the walks you do together.
Don't let these fuckers deprive you of the pleasure of a walk on a beach on a sunny day with Ddog.
Your note is very restrained, imo: by all means leave it. It should help you let go of thinking about those horrible people.

I think it's fine to leave the note. What is this thing of trying to come across like you don't care? People obviously do care, they get hurt, and nasty unkind people should realise the consequences of their actions.

You might be 'big' but they are mean, judgemental and rude. I know which attributes are worse, and most other people in the world do too!

You've done brilliantly today, and I bet your dog had a wonderful time at the beach with you. Try not to let the haters tarnish your achievements today.

Fuck them. They're absolute pricks

Horrible nasty rude people.
Ignore.
Enjoy walking your dog in nice places!!

You have as much right as anybody to enjoy sunny days on the beach.
The world is yours and it’s ok to be you.
Please don’t let people like this derail you, it may not seem like it, but truly they are the ones with the problem here.
Be strong sweetheart, cuddle your dog and keep going.

Fuck them. I say leave the note.

Do NOT let people like that stop you doing things that are good for you.