To complain to head teacher about finding my 5 yr old in playground at home time

[Tessadavies1001]

My daughter started at a new school today.The school made a big deal about making sure I filled in the forms about who collected her and handed it today or she couldnt start only for me to turn up to pick her up and find they don't have her. She had wondered out.We found her in the playground in a sea of parents,kids looking around and scared not far from the exit. The teacher blamed her and said she kept trying to find me but surely this would of made them keep and eye on her more.There is a teacher and 3 TAs.They have a system where they queue up out side in from of gate and she had gone through the gate while her teacher wasn't looking.In her previous school they didn't let children out unless the parent was there so she assumed I was outsid and behind the gate.Her teacher told her off and told me to make sure to tell her she needs to wait and that was that. Im in shock at what could of happened if she wandered out ,got run over or abducted.Imagine I had been late and they hadn't realised.My mum saying not to complain since it's her first day because and the teacher might resent me or my daughter for getting her in trouble with head but that sounds really backward.What should I do?

I wouldn't complain - it sounds like miscommunication between teacher and your DD about lining up and waiting.

I would speak to your daughter about the importance of waiting with everyone else.

With that said, her teacher should probably have kept her nearby and had a closer eye on her as it was her first day but sometimes you get distracted for a second and they've wandered off - not ideal but tbh with a class full of kids it's easy to miss something like this especially in a busy playground.

We’re you there, on time, when the children were discharged? You would have seen her, then, when she left the classroom.

The school is 100% responsible for your child. They should not be blaming her because she got out, they should be apologising profusely and ensuring systems are correctly in place so that it doesn't happen again.

The attitude of the teacher annoyed me a bit.There was no sorry or acceptance of any responsibility even though it was my daughters first day.If a 5 year old child I agreed to look after wondered off I would take full responsibility. @doxxed Yes a quiet word with the head teacher seems a good idea. @1morewine I got there between 5 to 8 mins after pick up because the playground is small and I was avoiding the crowds as had a large buggy and then I went the wrong class as it was my first pick up from this school.I planned to pick her up at 3.35 and she finishes 3.30. I assumed she was safe in a classroom.I don't know how I'm going feel when they take her on a trips now.

You had my total sympathy until you said you planned to pick her up at 3.35 when she finishes at 3.30. You should be there before 3.30 so she can be released to you. Do you expect the teacher to stand by her side awaiting your arrival?!

You need to pick up on time for a start. If she finishes at 3.30 then that is when you should be at her class.

The rest is a safeguarding concern. I'd raise it, in writing, with the head.

I would also be annoyed by the teacher being short with my child on their first day, that's not very welcoming.

But you can't just turn up 8 minutes late (or 5) because you have a large buggy! You need to be there for 3:30.

My DD would have been taken to the school office if I was 8 minutes late.

I agree with @Dinosaurrawr I'm afraid. There are several people at fault here, you included. You were late to collect her, which added to the confusion.

@CheezerGoode yes I actually agree with you, but I'm losing hope and starting to I think I should start taking a hope for the best but prepare the worst approach.Whats the point of banging on about safeguarding and having all these forms if you are just going blame a child when you failed them

Of course the teacher should not have released her if you weren't there, and there shouldn't be any way for your dd to sneak past her either.

But how long was she outside? If the teacher realised immediately and retrieved her in seconds, that's completely different to her not even noticing until you arrived.

As a teacher, I would have apologised, accepted responsibility and told you how it couldn't happen again. The fact that she had an attitude is not great and I would speak to the Head on your situation. However, you had better be above reproach in all things yourself from now on. In particular, pick your 5yo up on time.

YABU to have not been there for 3.30pm. You should be there before she comes out, not almost ten minutes after. No excuses.

You always arrive at the classroom door at 3.20pm. That's the way it's always been for school pickups - unless you want to be the parent of the kid who is upset because nobody's waiting for them every time.

On the first day, it's even more important to be there early so you don't get lost.

Now it's happened, you'll need to be there regular as clockwork in plenty of time every day, rain or shine - she'll still remember you not being there for her on her first day, but she might not be as anxious about it by somewhere around year 4.

I planned to pick her up at 3.35

So you planned to pick your 5 year old dd up late on her first day in a new school?! And then you were even later than you'd planned. Your poor dd.

I was sympathetic with you until I read that. I wouldn't complain if I were you. You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Wow, you just decided to rock up 4-8 minutes late. That's totally unacceptable and no wonder your child got worried and snuck off. My dc finish at 3.15 so I ensure I'm in the playground by 3.12 each day at the very latest and my dc are 7 and 10. It's pretty hard to keep track of a child if they slip off in to a busy playground. I'd not blame the child though but you for being late on her first day

Why didn’t you get there earlier to avoid the crowds if your big buggy is such an issue? Makes no sense to me & a rubbish excuse for been late.
At my dc school is you were 8 mins late the child would be sat in the office and whilst a staff member was ringing you.

Bless her, a rubbish start to her new school

Why would you plan to be there late? You need to be at pickup at least 5 minutes before the children finish school.

Why would you be late on your child first day ever at a new school? That is not good.

Aiming to pick her up late and being even later is ridiculous. If you have a large buggy yoy get there early to avoid the crowds not late.

I think it should not matter how late a parent arrives.They are not to blame an should trust that their children are in safe hands and not walking the streets as that is what they promise you.An emergency could happen causing a parent to be late, is that parent at fault if they find their child wandering?According to the school I was not late and there were still alot of parents getting their kids.I had no idea they all queued up outside, and they are still behind a gate btw.They are not actually in the main playground where they are collected from.So she went through a gate to get to the main collecting bit.Though I always arrived early at her previous school It would often be about 5 minutes past the time they were let out at her old school before they called her out.Not everyone is let out smack bang at 3.30 .Well not in my experience. But my new plan is to get there extra early because of today's experience and I don't think I was at fault at all.

Op...you turn up 5 mins early to collect a child not late, yabu

Does your child have a habit of wondering off? She needs to be told she mustn't.
And you need to get yourself organised and not be late again.

Well if you don't think you're at fault at all and you don't think it should matter how late a parent arrives I'm sure other people's opinions aren't of interest to you unless they agree with you.

Tessadavies1001 you were late, you said you were late, the kid was in the playground not in the street.