To complain to head teacher about finding my 5 yr old in playground at home time

[Tessadavies1001]

My daughter started at a new school today.The school made a big deal about making sure I filled in the forms about who collected her and handed it today or she couldnt start only for me to turn up to pick her up and find they don't have her. She had wondered out.We found her in the playground in a sea of parents,kids looking around and scared not far from the exit. The teacher blamed her and said she kept trying to find me but surely this would of made them keep and eye on her more.There is a teacher and 3 TAs.They have a system where they queue up out side in from of gate and she had gone through the gate while her teacher wasn't looking.In her previous school they didn't let children out unless the parent was there so she assumed I was outsid and behind the gate.Her teacher told her off and told me to make sure to tell her she needs to wait and that was that. Im in shock at what could of happened if she wandered out ,got run over or abducted.Imagine I had been late and they hadn't realised.My mum saying not to complain since it's her first day because and the teacher might resent me or my daughter for getting her in trouble with head but that sounds really backward.What should I do?

Probably best you do flounce, OP, as it’s clear you’re never going to accept responsibility for being five minutes late to pick up your child on her first day.

Sounds like you’ve got an interesting seven years ahead of you!

Guns blazing after first day at school - its a long time you do know that don't you. Day in day out, rain and shine.

OP, your attitude in this thread is awful and you're going to have a number of battles throughout your child's time at school with that attitude.

It does matter that you were late. Just because it takes time to release the children doesn't mean it's acceptable to plan to be late for your own convenience. As for teachers being expected to supervise children until parents arrive, that level of arrogance is also ridiculous. They are not there to provide after school care until parents decide to arrive. In many schools the child would be taken to the office where they'd try to contact a parent, or they'd go into a wrap around provision with a cost attached, or a senior member of staff would eventually start looking at contacting other services.

Attitudes like yours are the reasons I've had to cancel evening/weekend engagements after running school clubs and trips.
There's always a few parents who think pick up times are flexible around their convenience. They make us less willing to want to offer opportunities in future.

Secondly, your child should have followed instructions. They were told to wait. They didn't. The teacher was right to tell your child they were told to wait and have ignored instructions (though I have to say I have sympathy for your child because other children are being collected and her parent isn't there yet because it didn't suit to be on time).

Finally, the fact your DC could get into the playground after ignoring instructions is a safeguarding issue and something that needs raising in an appropriate way.

But I'd knock this "it's not my fault... I can't trust the teacher" nonsense on the head.

School might not consider you late as they were still out but I bet your daughter did. Our school has 600 kids and a very small playground because new classrooms are forever having to be built - yes it's crowded at 3.15 but doesn't mean people just come later lol especially for 5 year olds and especially on their first day. People saying the teacher shouldn't have relaxed her - they didn't. The children were led out as obviously happens every day as it's not suitable for parents to come to the class and OP's daughter was asked to wait as her mum wasn't there but slipped off when the teacher was no doubt handing over the rest of the kids. Nonsense that it's a red herring - it wouldn't have happened otherwise

If a train is due to arrive at 3.30pm, and doesn’t arrive u TIL 3.35pm, it is still classed as late even if it has a wait time of 10 minutes at the station before departure.

In the same way, arriving at 3.35 when school finishes at 3.30 means you were late, @Tessadavies1001. No-one expects every single child to be let out at 3.30pm on the dot - that would involve bending the laws of space and time - but it is NOT unreasonable to expect the parents to turn up at the time school finishes.

Imagine your child had been first in line at the door, and had to watch for 5-10 minutes, while lots of the other children were picked up, and your dd couldn’t see you. You know you were on your way, and would be there (eventually) to collect her, but she didn’t know that - and 10 minutes is a long time at that age - poor mite.

The teacher should not have let your child out if you weren’t there - but if you had been there on time, there would have been no problem! So both the teacher and you need to take some responsibility - and I see no sign of you being willing to do so.

Also, the teacher was right to tell your dd off for going out when she couldn’t see you and hadn’t been told to go by the teacher. Yes, she is only young, but she is old enough to learn this simple rule.

In the same way, arriving at 3.35 when school finishes at 3.30 means you were late

While I expect this is true for the OP's school, it isn't true everywhere. My kid's school finishes at 3:15 and we have a pickup window 3:15 - 3:30. We are asked not to be waiting at 3:15 because it causes too much congestion for local residents and businesses. By spreading pick up out over the 15 minutes after school finishes, the school is a considerate neighbour.

I'm sure OP would have mentioned it there was a 'pick up window' and I'm sure the teachers wouldn't lead 5 year olds outside to wait if that were the case either.

I'm in awe at DSs teacher. She recognises me, dad and both my parents, who all collect him from primary.

I wouldn't complain unless it was repeated. Sounds like dd slipped out which she shouldn't have done. All the kids at our school know to wait patiently.

I can't believe you plan to be late for pick up, but want to complain about the teacher being irresponsible 😂. Your dd should never have been let out without you being there, but you are hilarious.

yellowallpaper
I don't know how primary teachers do it. Their ability to learn multiple parents/carers per child and who they link to amazes me

True, but in our school only the children of the habitually late parents will still be on site at 4pm, and by then they would have been taken to the school office so that the teachers can get on with their work

Which has its own issues - like the person who is then passed the unhappy child stopped being paid at 3.45pm, having been in since just before 7am (if they aren't on the 6am starts). As happened to me on many occasions - and I've been in the situation of having to stay until 5.30pm before because the parent hasn't turned up, hasn't called and I was the only person out of all staff who didn't have a small child of my own to pick up - and not even for an emergency; I've done the emergency ones because, well, it's an emergency - but when the same kids are left waiting and the same staff are forced to supervise them for no pay (and no thanks, usually - or an 'oh, I forgot') it's not the best way to treat children or staff.

@LolaSmiles As for teachers being expected to supervise children until parents arrive, that level of arrogance is also ridiculous.

Of course it isn't ridiculous. If a parent is late for any reason of course their child needs to be supervised until the child is collected. What you're suggesting is daft. Imagine you were in a car accident - didn't collect your 5 year old child and they were just released to make their own way home. Of course children must be supervised until someone collects them.

You're right that it's incredibly rude and selfish for a parent not to make every effort to collect children on time (and I've no qualms about forcing repeat offenders to pay for the care of their child after school) but there has to be a reasonable window - anything else is just moronic. For a start in lots of schools there simply isn't enough parking for everyone to be collected on the dot. In my DC's school the car park is full by 3:15 for 3:30 pick up you then just have to circle around until some of the cars leave (which won't happen until 3:30 when they get their kid).

I think this threads shows that people have no idea what it's like looking after 30 young children with hundreds of people milling around.

At the end of the day the teacher will be trying to talk to parents, pass on messages and get the right children to the right adult (who they may not even have met before). They will be doing this while still supervising the children inside the classroom and assisting them with coats or water bottles or tearful arguments!

Teachers don't chain children to seats or lock classroom doors so children do need to be taught not to walk out or leave without permission. Parents also need to be on time! If it was a regular occurrence I'd complain but otherwise I'd just talk to the child about the importance of not walking off without an adult.

@fishfingerface It must undoubtably be very difficult but the fact is there needs to be a system in place to ensure that kids don't run off after school (the same way teachers need to make sure kids don't leave school premises at lunch time). Lots of children can't be trusted not to run off especially in a new environment when they don't know the system. Parents should turn up on time but before they're there the teachers need to keep the kids safe.

You’re holding everyone to very high standards except yourself

Yep. Your child was in a new environment, her first day in school, and you put her through the anxiety she felt when her mum wasn't there at home time. That ten minutes will have felt a lot longer to a worried five year old.

On her first day you should have been first in line to pick her up. And don't blame the teacher if your daughter is anxious about school tomorrow.

1.it is a safeguarding issue. A chat with the headteacher can help to prevent this happening again.

2.you don't plan to be late picking up. While it's irrelevant to your daughter wandering off,you must realise it's unreasonable.

1. The teacher won't get in trouble so don't hope for that. It'll be that home time procedures are reviewed,see what went wrong,how it could be prevented. It happens. It happened at DD's school,it happened at my school.

MiniEggAddiction
The SCHOOL need to provide supervision. That might be the teacher for a few minutes, it could be them sitting in a room where there is a club on, it could be sitting in reception.

It is not the teacher job to provide after school supervision for parents who feel like turning up late because it's more convenient for them. Parents deciding it's the teacher's job to supervise their child until they feel like turning up are unreasonable. It's not.

If the car park is full arrive earlier or park elsewhere. That is the most rubbish excuse for not picking your child up on time. There were nearly 700 children in my daughter's primary school and I still managed to pick her up on time, even if it meant parking a 10 minute walk away. I always allowed 15 minutes for school pick up because you know it's not up to the school to look after my child after 3:15.

LolaSmiles

Of course it's not the teacher's job to provide after school provision but it is their job to make sure no child wanders off before their parent arrives (or if their parent is late the child is instead passed over to whoever then takes over responsibility). It's a simple safeguarding issue. A parent should never turn up late for their own convenience but may occasionally be late due to factors out of their own control, other parents may be late because their lazy or selfish but it's still not OK to not keep their children safe.

@Rosebel I think you have a bit of a logic fail. If I arrive earlier (which actually I don't need to since I'm one of the few within walking distance) then I'll take up a space in the car park which I won't vacate until after 3:30 when my child leaves and someone else will be late to collect their child. There is no where else to park (legally) since it's a rural school.

This isn't the case in all schools but parking in all schools is limited and the level of congestion is usually ridiculous so a collection window is sensible. Just as a matter of common sense there needs to be a window of 5-10 minutes anyway and some people will have an emergency and be late. There needs to be a system in place to deal with this safely. No one should take advantage and be routinely late but even if they are their children have to be taken care of safely.

School children of 5 and upwards should not be 'wandering off'. Your child has to learn the rules, and you'll need to be firm about that, as well as ensuring you turn up in time. At school age, the vast majority of children understand, with the help of frequent reminders from teachers and hopefully parents, that they must stay put in the classroom or playground until collected. To a large extent, the teacher relies on the children being sensible and obedient, because it's utterly impossible to physically restrain an entire class, and it's very likely that a teacher will have children in the class with SEN who may need particular attention at home time. The parents' role is to be there on time or to phone ahead if that isn't possible.

MiniEggAddiction
I already said a child being able to get out like that is a safeguarding issue that needs raising.

I was challenging the OP's belief that it's a teacher's job to supervise until parents arrive (when she intended to arrive late and then got further held up).

Sadly the attitude of 'teachers should supervise until it is convenient to me' is more common than reasonable people would imagine. I've lost hours of my evenings and weekends waiting for parents at various locations because they seem to think the pick up time is optional and they've just been to the supermarket on the way (but arrived 30 mins late), we've called to see where they are but they lost track of time so are just dropping another child off somwhere first.

To a large extent, the teacher relies on the children being sensible and obedient, because it's utterly impossible to physically restrain an entire class,

A school's procedures for 5 yr olds should not rely on the children being sensible and obedient to safeguard them. 5 yr olds being confused, making poor decisions, misunderstanding or being wilful is normal, age appropriate behaviour and a school needs processes in place that cope with that as well as more extreme behaviour in some circumstances. And it's fairly easy to restrain an entire class of 5 yr olds by controlling the exit.

Of course, all parents should be aiming to teach their kids to stay safe but the school's procedures should not rely on the children always following that teaching.

What Boom said.

Part of the goal of the reception year is to train the child in how school works, get them used to the rules and routines. At 4 and 5 children often do get distracted and wander, especially if they're thinking about something else, like I want to see mummy now.

A school's procedures for 5 yr olds should not rely on the children being sensible and obedient to safeguard them.

Sorry but that's absolute nonsense. I've taught hundreds of children and that's how all school rules work. You teach them how to stay safe then you expect them to follow those rules.

At home time the teacher will be busy dispatching children to clubs or approaching parents to let them know about first aid incidents or whatever. The teacher can't just stand dead still in the doorway and bellow across the playground to whoever they need to speak to.

They may need to leave the doorway at some point to talk to someone so the children need to be taught not to leave without an adult. A child new to school may not know this and just needs to be taught by the teacher and the parent picking them up.

No need to make complaints or take the headteacher's time. It happens to ALL teachers at some point! Including the head. I have had children new to school who've bolted out the door. You just talk to them about the rules then it doesn't happen again.