To complain to head teacher about finding my 5 yr old in playground at home time

[Tessadavies1001]

My daughter started at a new school today.The school made a big deal about making sure I filled in the forms about who collected her and handed it today or she couldnt start only for me to turn up to pick her up and find they don't have her. She had wondered out.We found her in the playground in a sea of parents,kids looking around and scared not far from the exit. The teacher blamed her and said she kept trying to find me but surely this would of made them keep and eye on her more.There is a teacher and 3 TAs.They have a system where they queue up out side in from of gate and she had gone through the gate while her teacher wasn't looking.In her previous school they didn't let children out unless the parent was there so she assumed I was outsid and behind the gate.Her teacher told her off and told me to make sure to tell her she needs to wait and that was that. Im in shock at what could of happened if she wandered out ,got run over or abducted.Imagine I had been late and they hadn't realised.My mum saying not to complain since it's her first day because and the teacher might resent me or my daughter for getting her in trouble with head but that sounds really backward.What should I do?

In my experience teachers never ever apologise. They must be told not to, like doctors are. But you were late on her first day!!!!! What is wrong with you??

It was the first day in a new school, out of interest why was she moved from the last one? Did you move, or was there a problem?

If she's 5 she's probably just qualified for compulsory education.

@cabbageking
The OP was late, she said further down..

‘I planned to pick her up at 3.35 and she finishes 3.30.’

She waited in the wrong place so was later than her planned late pick up on her child’s first day.

Anyone else wondering how big this buggy is? I’m guessing the size of a small articulated lorry maybe?

Wtf how is that late? Our school has a 20 minute window to pick your child up

I bet it hasn’t. Otherwise everyone would rock up twenty minutes late wouldn’t they?

The teacher was in the wrong and is on thin ice from a safeguarding POV.
You were in the wrong but I think you've realised that now.

Definitely go and see the head about this. Check online first for their safeguarding policy and if they have anything written down about end of the day handover.
A teacher absolutely shouldn't be blaming a 5 year old for wandering out looking for mum at home time. Poor kid.

All the "in my school we do this or that" posts are a bit of a red herring.
What matters is that the OP probably should speak to the teacher, ascertain she will arrive whatever time she is expected to from now on, and knowing the child wasn't aware she should stay with the class until told otherwise so ran off, should have a closer eye kept on her.

I am safeguarding lead and this is not a safeguarding issue unless the child regularly scarpers or the parent is regularly late. Even then it's not real safeguarding. It is 'asking someone to keep an eye on a child because the mother is late"

What's the point about banging on about safeguarding if her own parent intentionally arrives late to collect her child from school on her first day? You can't be critical of others for not taking their responsibility seriously when you don't.

Our school has a 20 minute window to pick your child up

That's , errm, unique ?

I think the school was at fault but so are you. In this instance I wouldnt say anything because you look just as bad. turn up on time and if this happens again then you will be completely right.

So the very first day of the dd's new school the parent turns up late to collect and then blames the school! priceless!

You can look forward to a long and happy partnership, OP.

( and btw it's "could have" - not "could of" )

Nobody in their right mind plans to be late for anything. Least of all to collect a five year old child on their first day at school.

School ended at 3.30pm; at 3.30:01 your dd becomes your responsibility and you are jolly lucky school staff hang about to keep an eye.

Your dd became your responsibility as the second hand passed 3.30 and at that pojnt safeguarding is 99.9% your responsibility unless their is a prior agreement.

Unbelievable! You couldn't be arsed to prioritise your dd but you expect others to when the school day has ended and ither should no longer be in loco parentis.

The teacher will know now that your dd is a wanderer and that you have a tendency to be late (given how unusual it is to be late on the first day!) so I am sure she will keep a closer eye on things now. You must tell dd that she should not leave her teachers side until she can see you, I would absolutely have put some blame on my dd in this situation but most of the blame on myself for being late! It is obvious that a child can easily sneak by if they really try, pick up can be hectic and parents can distract the teachers by asking them things, even though it quite obviously isn't the right time. That's why when my children were 5, I always made sure that if I were running late for some reason, I phoned ahead to make the school aware.

I am unclear as to why you think it is irrelevant you were late, it is obvious that your poor dd was panicking and went looking for you, which couldn't have happened had you been on time or had you notified the school that you planned on being late. You put your dd and the teacher in a very difficult position here

All this going on at the op is ridiculous. The school should be shit hot on safe guarding. There’s no way any child should be let go without an adult there.
At my kids school the children are taken to the office to wait for their parents if they’re late. Ditto at the school I work at. Op while you should deffo plan to be on time in the future you are not being unreasonable at all. School should be falling over themselves to sort it out not passing the buck.

OhTheRoses that’s also complete bullshit. The schools safeguarding responsibility doesn’t end at the end of school day on the dot. It ends when the child is safely in their parents hands. And even then the school still has responsibility to keep a child safe if they can.

I appreciate schools have a safeguarding responsibility but so do does every parent to arrive on time to collect so it is minimised.

How lovely you work in a school when you use bad language and refer to the children as kids.

OP:"I don't think I was at fault at all."

You should have been there 5 minutes early. Especially on the 1st day. How you can think otherwise staggers me.

Even if the OP got there at 4pm the child shouldn't have been in the playground.
There were errors all round that need addressing.

How lovely you work in a school when you use bad language and refer to the children as kids.

Lots of us work in schools and also swear on anonymous Internet forums. Or would you prefer that people’s private lives are subject to the same rules that apply in their workplace? Totally batshit.

How lovely you work in a school when you use bad language and refer to the children as kids.

I would assume that every teacher and TA in the country (and receptionist, caretaker and dinner lady too) uses "bad language" at some point - hopefully not in front of the kids.

And what is so wrong with the word kids its not profane, its just a lot shorter than typing children, and less twee than DC (which may not be true of a lot of school children any way).

End of school day comes, child sees everyone else exiting... child attempts to leave too, assuming parent will be there to greet her from first day of school.
Teacher asks child to wait.
Child wants to see parent and pushes way out between other children leaving.

Is the teacher expected to physically restrain child? Push everyone else out of the way, or assume child will stay put as they've been told?

Even if the OP got there at 4pm the child shouldn't have been in the playground.

True, but in our school only the children of the habitually late parents will still be on site at 4pm, and by then they would have been taken to the school office so that the teachers can get on with their work.

How lovely you work in a school when you use bad language and refer to the children as kids.

I have been teaching for over 20 years and refer to children as kids. I also swear when not on work time.

Should I resign this morning? Should we all? That will help the retention situation!

Is it just people working in a school using terrible words such as as ‘kids’ and ‘swears’ that you object to, out of interest? Would you object to nurses swearing in their own time?

You were intentionally late on your 5 year old's first day at a new school.
Your argument has lost ALL credibility, OP.

Wow, living abroad now in a country where 5 year olds walk themselves home from school this kind of panic just seems nuts to me now. Where I live the kids are no longer the school’s responsibility the second the school day ends and the teacher says goodbye.

@BeepOpsiePie - Australia?