To complain to head teacher about finding my 5 yr old in playground at home time

[Tessadavies1001]

My daughter started at a new school today.The school made a big deal about making sure I filled in the forms about who collected her and handed it today or she couldnt start only for me to turn up to pick her up and find they don't have her. She had wondered out.We found her in the playground in a sea of parents,kids looking around and scared not far from the exit. The teacher blamed her and said she kept trying to find me but surely this would of made them keep and eye on her more.There is a teacher and 3 TAs.They have a system where they queue up out side in from of gate and she had gone through the gate while her teacher wasn't looking.In her previous school they didn't let children out unless the parent was there so she assumed I was outsid and behind the gate.Her teacher told her off and told me to make sure to tell her she needs to wait and that was that. Im in shock at what could of happened if she wandered out ,got run over or abducted.Imagine I had been late and they hadn't realised.My mum saying not to complain since it's her first day because and the teacher might resent me or my daughter for getting her in trouble with head but that sounds really backward.What should I do?

I've only read the first page.
You need to be on time.
My stepdad was sent to pick me up when I was in the infants, he was late. I was hysterical and thought I'd been abandoned. I'm 40 now and still remember feeling sick because I was scared. Hope that helps.

The school will have a complaints policy. You need to follow it.

I imagine your first complaint goes to the teacher. If he or she doesn’t resolve the complaint, then you speak to the headteacher.

You put a complaint in writing to the headteacher if it remains unresolved.

2 things.
You should arrive in plenty of time.
It used to drive me nuts that it was constantly the same parents arriving late, much of the time without an apology. We are not childminders and once the bell goes at the end of the school day have much to get on with.
That said, the school are in the wrong here. Your child should not have managed to get out through the classroom door and out in to the yard, this is a very serious concern and yes I would be bringing it to the headteachers attention especially given the teachers lax attitude about it.

The school are wrong the teacher lost sight of the child. Yes OP handled it wrongly and didn’t check the procedures of the new school and assumed being late would be ok but she should have arrived to either an inpatient teacher waiting, her daughter in the queue or moved to the school office.

What a weird system. Do children have to queue up in a line until their parents show up?

I'm quite used to having to look about for my 3 and 6 year olds when I pick them up from kindy/school. If it's warmer than -20 and not pissing down with rain they're usually on the school grounds somewhere having a laugh (or getting covered in wet sand in the sandpit.. woe!)

Damntheman yes very common in the uk

The fact the OP was a little late, deliberate or not is immaterial to whether the teacher/school have a safe hand over system and what steps the OP should take to flag this and have it addressed.

Reading some of the comments on this thread about the OP losing all credibility reminds me of the court judgments where someone has been attacked and the victim is criticised for drinking or dressing provocatively, the implication being they brought it on themselves.

This was the first day of school for the OP’s daughter and maybe others. There’s an increased risk of things going wrong so the staff need to be extra vigilant.

OP, I would observe how the pick up works out today and if you think that fundamentally the system is flawed and it’s not practical for the teacher to keep track of all the children safely then I would discuss this with the Head. Ultimately this might not be about the teacher but the system if it’s not a reasonable set up. At our primary school the pick up system was changed when a new Head arrived and said the previous one was not safe. It had been in place for years without any issue but that’s not the point. Sometimes a different perspective or an experience like this can highlight the potential need for a change to reduce a risk of something untoward happening. Better to address after a near miss, rather than an actual miss.

You were late, and even worse, you were intentionally late - entirely your responsibility. many schools would have charged you a fee for that (usually cost of afterschool club). in a nursery, that would have easily been a £30 fee. you are being very unreasonable

Our school doesn't let any of the infant children out of the building unless there is an adult there to collect. Reception you go into the class and collect the child, there is access for prams/wheelchairs. Year 1&2 the teachers send children out of the door to the adult when they are seen. Year 3 is similar. Only in year 4 are the children taken onto the playground by the teacher. Even then they stand in a huddle and check that there is a adult/older sibling present. Year 5&6 they are allowed to walk home alone.

Sometimes lateness happens. They hang around for about 15 minutes and then will start to call parents. Five minutes late in our school wouldn't even be noticed. Often they can be still shuffling around at 25 past getting coats. Occasionally they are out of the door at 20 past but even then it takes time to get the kids out of the door.

I absolutely agree with you, I'd be fuming. While they are at school, until you pick them up they are trusted to look after them. Simple. That shouldn't have happened. Yes I would complain. Your not overreacting.

Under the Children Act 1989, teachers have a duty of care towards their pupils, traditionally referred to as 'in loco parentis'. Legally, while not bound by parental responsibility, teachers must behave as any reasonable parent would do in promoting the welfare and safety of children in their care.

They must do this until the child is handed over to the parent, not until the bell goes.

If OP had been planning to get there 5 mins early but got detained by a traffic accident in front of her the child would still have been loose in the playground. It would have totally been the school's fault just as it is if the parent is deliberately 5 mins late.

And whoever said it isn't a safeguarding issue (said by a safeguarding lead?!) I'm afraid it is as one of the principles of safeguarding is keeping a child safe, which the teacher failed to do.

This is from the NSPCC:
Your school can safeguard children by: creating safe environments for children and young people through robust safeguarding practices

The school is 100% responsible for your child. They should not be blaming her because she got out, they should be apologising profusely and ensuring systems are correctly in place so that it doesn't happen again.

^^ This.

Our school has a system in place that the child is not permitted to leave unless the teacher has seen the person collecting the child (and if they haven't had the message that someone else is collecting then they refuse to allow the child to go). I thought this was standard practice in all schools, if not it ought to be. I also would raise it with the school, tell them you are not happy.

Oh and I do think you were in the wrong planning to be late to collect. Very wrong. But that doesn't absolve the school.of their irresponsibility in letting a 5 year old child leave school without an adult.

I think the school need to rethink how they end the school day. Our changed their handover at the end of the day so all reception and Y1 are collected from their classrooms. It used to be from the playground but at this age, they are prone to wandering off. It's very difficult to keep track of 30 children, plus talk to parents, impose boundaries etc.

@BeepOpsiePie

It was like that here once upon a time, not sure exactly when it changed. I think I was released to my parents in the playground when I was in the infants but free to go in the juniors. Most of the kids in my class walked themselves to school, which was in the early - late 90s.

@softsheen.
Exactly This

To be fair you also failed her. You were kate in her 1st day. You should have been there so she could see your face when she got out then she wouldnt have been scared and wondering off to look for you.
Yes they should have kept a closer eye on her but with 30 kids to watch with other classes and parents also around it's not always easy if you were there you could have grabbed her as soon as you saw her. This isnt all on the teacher. Oh and my 4 year old knows not to wander off without the teacher passing her to me. So you need to have that talk with your daughter too.

Late on

I think in order of mistakes it goes:

1. You - you planned to make the mistake of being late
2. Teacher - they made an accidental mistake of not noticing child had wondered off
3. Child - they didn't follow instructions but were confused on their first day

So all in all, it was a combination of everything that caused this to happen. And each person involved can do something to stop it happening again.

Instead of going to the head I would talk with the teacher and confirm what needs to happen next time again so this isn't repeated.

Totally agree with mrschatterbox. It was a little of everything

Yes it was a little of everything but OP now knows she needs to get there earlier. However the teacher hasn't acknowledged any wrongdoing so the same could happen again any time. This does need to be fed back to the head.

Turn up early - no issue.

Did your daughter previously attend another school ? She may have been anxious that you had forgotten where she was , and in all fairness she would have been partly correct . Make sure she fully understands where you will wait in the playground , and that the teacher will look after her if she waits inside until you are there . Five minutes to a five year old is a long time .

You'd have hoped that the teacher would have kept a more careful eye with a child who is new - they've perhaps forgotten that different schools have different systems so neither child nor parent will be familiar with how things work and the layout of the school. They shouldn't have got cross with your child, but underneath they were probably stressed that they'd allowed this to happen - I'm sure they will have been blaming themselves as well.

Do they have a "second line of defence?" At my daughter's school, the head or another senior member of staff would always be on the main gate through which everyone had to pass, and would pick up any child who might try and wander out without their adult. My daughter, when in reception, got separated from the rest of her class on the way back to the classroom at the end of an afternoon special event. I arrived to collect her a couple of minutes later, and she wasn't there. I wasn't worried, because I knew that (because of the teacher on the gate) she would still be within the confines of the school. (The teacher and TA were panicking, though, because of course they felt very guilty that they'd lost her - but these things happen.)

School finishes at 3.30pm you get to school for 3.30pm. Simple. It was your first pick up, you don't know how the pick up process operates, you should of arrived earlier not later.