To complain to head teacher about finding my 5 yr old in playground at home time

[Tessadavies1001]

My daughter started at a new school today.The school made a big deal about making sure I filled in the forms about who collected her and handed it today or she couldnt start only for me to turn up to pick her up and find they don't have her. She had wondered out.We found her in the playground in a sea of parents,kids looking around and scared not far from the exit. The teacher blamed her and said she kept trying to find me but surely this would of made them keep and eye on her more.There is a teacher and 3 TAs.They have a system where they queue up out side in from of gate and she had gone through the gate while her teacher wasn't looking.In her previous school they didn't let children out unless the parent was there so she assumed I was outsid and behind the gate.Her teacher told her off and told me to make sure to tell her she needs to wait and that was that. Im in shock at what could of happened if she wandered out ,got run over or abducted.Imagine I had been late and they hadn't realised.My mum saying not to complain since it's her first day because and the teacher might resent me or my daughter for getting her in trouble with head but that sounds really backward.What should I do?

I remember why I quit teaching when I read threads like this.

bbc.in/3a9lDr7

“You teach them how to stay safe then you expect them to follow those rules.^

If that were the case there would be no need for the locked doors that need swipe cards to open from the inside of the school to get out. There would be no need for the obsessive head counting on the walk to the library and there would be no need for the parents to inform the school of whom a child is allowed to go home with because you’d just teach them the rules and they’d do it.

But that isn’t what happens is it? Most children follow most of the rules most of the time. But we count heads, keep exits barred, check permissions and supervise closely, because we know 5 year olds can’t be relied upon to get that right all the time and that they would then be at risk.

I’m not suggesting the teacher should be flayed for slipping up - but it was a slip up and it should be looked into to try and ensure that any systemic failings that allowed the slip up to happen are fixed.

You teach them how to stay safe then you expect them to follow those rules.
It's a process though, isn't it? And on the first afternoon in school you wouldn't expect a child to have mastered all the rules. Or perhaps you never taught reception.

Emmelina even by that article the OP is ok, as the fines don't kick in til 10 min late plus the OP has explained the situation at her school.

You teach them how to stay safe then you expect them to follow those rules.
Why even bother supervising at all then? Let them sort themselves out. Five year olds can't be trusted to always do the right thing however many times they're told. They're impulsive and will do something stupid on the spur of the moment sometimes.

Nobody's saying they don't need supervising at all. That would be bedlam. But lots of schools in the UK have less rigid procedures at the end of day than those described here. Often the pupils and teacher go into the playground and the pupils tell the teacher when they see their adult and then they leave. Sometimes, there's another adult at the exit to the playground, just in case. And these systems work, and have worked for years and years. The vast majority of school aged children are neither stupid nor impulsive, and if the rules are made clear and the consequences of not following them are explained, all is well. However, on a child's first day at a new school, the teacher should have been extra careful.

Agree. That's why my view is that don't dump it all on hassled teachers and turn up on time

@BottleOfJameson and @BoomBoomsCousin

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I live abroad now in a place where 5 year olds have a lot less supervision (Switzerland). 4-6 year olds walk to and from kindergarten on their own and once the teacher shakes their hand and says goodbye, they're no longer their responsibility. The kindergartens and schools here don't have closed fences and gates anyway so kids could easily come and go whenever they wanted to, but generally they are sensible enough to know they shouldn't go wandering off the school grounds on their own. Once they start junior/primary school age 6 most schools don't even supervise them on the playground at break time either, they are expected to be responsible for themselves and find an adult if there's a problem etc. There's none of that card-swiping and head-counting etc.

Personally as a Brit I find it all a bit too laissez-faire as I'm just not used to it, but it seems to work and I'm starting to appreciate it. It's a safe country and children seem fairly well-behaved. I don't know how it works, but it does. So perhaps we Brits don't give our children enough credit - when given the opportunity to be responsible for themselves, 5 year olds are not actually as wild and impulsive as we think they are.

I am reminded of when I was about 4 or 5 growing up in the UK, my infant school had a gate with big metal bars. I was determined to escape and run away from school (planned to visit my dad at work). Being a skinny kid I kept trying to squeeze through the bars every day. One day, I actually figured out the right angle and got through the bars in the gate. I immediately panicked and realised it wasn't safe and went back through. I honestly think that when kids have some independence their self-preservation instinct usually kicks in and they do keep themselves safe. You don't usually get to see their sense of self-preservation because when they're constantly supervised they act as wild as they like, taking more risks when adults are around because they feel safe in the knowledge that they've outsourced all risk-assessment to the adults supervising them!

I’m a primary teacher and pick up time is a nightmare if they are not coming directly out of a room. Your child left the teacher which is tricky as even if the teacher realised there would be nothing they could do as they have 29 other kids.
Make sure your child knows tomorrow they must stay with teacher even if she you. My class know they don’t leave my side even if parent is beckoning them until I have said yes and made eye contact with that parent. It is a sucky first day experience and hopefully one that will not be repeated. Maybe clarify collection arrangements at drop off in the morning.

Your dd broke the rule and waited til the teacher wasn't looking to sneak past. A school isn't a prison! At 5 years old she should know full well that was naughty. You compounded this by being late

I wouldn't make a complaint. I would have a word with the teacher in the morning and tell them that as your daughter isn't sure of the routines yet could she keep an extra eye on her to make sure this doesn't happen again. If it happens again you can make a formal complaint.

I would then speak to your daughter about what happens at the end of the day and ensure she is following instructions, not leaving the classroom until she sees you and is aware of the procedure if you are late.

You also need to make sure you are not late again if it can be helped. I can half understand being deliberately late if you've been at the school for a while, know the routine and know that your dc always comes out late and that they know what to do. But being late deliberately on the first day? I feel sorry for your child.

Jesus what a horrid entitled woman. Of course the teacher made a potentially dangerous error, but OPs attitude is vile. No wonder her child had to start a new school.