Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

I would probably judge to myself but that's because my brother has mh issues I suspect started with cannabis use. Of course it's none of my business so I'd never comment.

I would absolutely look down on you. It's illegal. One of my neighbours does thus and I think it's disgusting. It stinks and it's antisocial.

I absolutely hate the smell of it - so if you were my neighbour and I could smell it Every night I would definitely not be a fan of yours. It’s disgusting.

It’s disgusting. Our neighbour does this. Can’t have the back windows of our house open during the summer!

Well yes it’s illegal. You’re not kids messing around anymore. And a few a night? Sounds more like an addition to me. Hardly the same as passing a joint round a party. It stinks, our neighbours smoke it occasionally and can smell it in our house.

And yes I would look down on you if you had children in the house.

It’s illegal for one thing. Anti social too.

No, I wouldn't look down on them, but I would be concerned about anyone having a few spliffs a night. Is that every night? I think that's quite a lot tbh.

Another one here who knows a few people with serious MH issues after smoking a lot of weed in their youth, though, so maybe I'm being OTT.

I would assume that he can smell it and for me being able to smell it from my neighbour every evening would make me think a bit differently of them the same as if they were getting drunk every evening. I also wouldn’t enjoy that smell drifting over to my house

It would be the smell that would get to me, I can't abide it, would rather cigarette smoke.

You’re not overthinking it. Not nice or respectable- skanky and not who you want next door.

I personally would not look down on someone who smokes the occasional joint in their garden, after dark whilst their children are safe in bed. In some countries it’s legal. I guess it’s the legality of the act which causes the judgement

Yes I would judge you, particularly if you have children in the house and regardless of whether they're in bed.

I wouldn't judge. But in my neighbourhood the houses are spaced a few feet apart with reasonably sized little gardens so I wouldn't be getting wafts of it through my open windows. Also, I don't really dislike the smell asunde if it was legal I'd certainly try it myself.

I wouldn't be over concerned or look down. I would think it was a bit juvenile if he was doing it every night.
The smell would piss me off though.

One of the main reasons I moved from a previous house was because my neighbours smoked weed in the back garden regularly in the evening during the summer. It stank and we couldnt sit out on the patio or have the doors or windows open. Really anti social and still illegal..

We have public gardens next to our house and there are potheads there every day, a few times a day, smoking weed. It stinks, and in the summer it drifts into the house. Vile habit and very anti-social. Smoke it in your own house if you must and keep it to yourself.

The smoke isnt confined to your garden though and impacts other people. My sisters neighbour does this. It stinks for one. It gets on the washing, it goes into my nieces bedroom above and the windows have to be closed, if the back doors open it goes in the house, its not nice for the kids to play in the garden with that wafting over. You say your garden doesnt border anyone elses but that stuff stinks and if your neighbourd can smell it theyre probably not too chuffed.

Yes id judge because I work with addiction and mental heath and see the damage it causes on a daily basis.
I don’t care that it’s illegal, but a few spliffs a night for one person is an insane amount.
How does he function the rest of the time?

Google ‘County Lines’ then come back and tell me why I think people who support the drug trade should be appalled at what they are perpetuating.

Agree 100% with @jemimafuddleduck and if you were affecting me/my family with the smell and smoke I would report you to the police.
No one should have to breathe that shit if they don't choose to, why not do it in your house where it only affects you..

My neighbour smokes weed and it absolutely stinks. It’s got to the point where on several occasions you can’t have the windows open because the smell is so strong. Unfortunately there’s quite a few people on my estate who smoke weed so there’s no point saying anything as it’s impossible to tell who it was.

I hate it, it stinks, it’s anti social and it’s just nasty

It's scummy, chavy, supports an evil industry and can cause significant mental health issues. I hate it.

leobynature that’s how I see it. We’ve got an unusual/ old village set up where litaerlly no ones garden backs onto ours. We’re a nice family with two young boys. This is the only vice!

I wouldn’t look down on you. I understand your concern though and would prefer my partner to not smoke in the garden.

A few spliffs every night? I’d definitely be unhappy as your neighbour. I doubt it’s a generational thing as I’m 31.

I don’t judge the drug taking but doing it your garden means that it smells for everyone nearby. We have neighbours two houses away who are often smoking weed in the garden and it absolutely stinks. As PP have said we have to shut windows and our patio doors sometimes.