Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

703 replies

MoonBaby1 · 07/01/2020 22:10

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

OP posts:
Original poster
MoonBaby1 · 07/01/2020 22:25

what a time to be alive smoke in the house? We have children!!!

OP posts:
ravensoaponarope · 07/01/2020 22:25

I wouldn't look down on you (and I don't smoke anything).
I quite like the smell.

Jupiters · 07/01/2020 22:25

I can't use my garden in the summer as my neighbours smoke cannabis in theirs every evening. Shows a clear lack of respect I'm afraid.

Jupiters · 07/01/2020 22:27

So you don't want smoke in your house because you have children, but you don't mind that your neighbour is forced to smell it instead?

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/01/2020 22:27

If it were occasional I wouldn't think anything of it. If it was every night or most nights I'd be a bit raised eyebrow and slightly more reluctant to let my kids play round at your house while they were young (assuming you also had kids that age), but that's about it.

ButtonandPickle19 · 07/01/2020 22:28

I would definitely look down on your family and DH I’m afraid but that’s from my upbringing. The type of people who smoked weed were... not the nice people.

DH (sat with me and reading this) is a bit more understanding and used to smoke in his garden before he met me years ago. He had very little money and it was his guilty pleasure

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 07/01/2020 22:28

Well you can bet your bottom dollar your kids can smell it too. Great example to set by the way, smoking illegal drugs.

Retroflex · 07/01/2020 22:28

I wouldn't judge your family, but I'm pretty direct, and like I have already done with my own neighbour, I would let you know that the smell (which let's be honest is vile) was coming into my house and bothering me.

I have decent neighbours though, who will now go for "an evening stroll" rather than smoke right outside my home. Maybe your partner would be better doing the same?

speakball · 07/01/2020 22:28

Nah I wouldn't mind. Not a big deal. Dh said someone had been smoking a joint in the car park and he works in a very boring office full of grumpy engineers.

Meruem · 07/01/2020 22:29

I wouldn't look down on you as such but I'm another who hates the smell of it and so it would annoy me. It clearly is bothering your neighbours so I think you have to decide whether you want to continue good relations with them or not. A "few" every night is actually a lot.

constantlyseekinghappiness · 07/01/2020 22:29

we have children

Oh do you? That’s ok then, continue being thoughtless neighbours and totally self absorbed.

bookishtartlet · 07/01/2020 22:29

It's fine. We are in a very middle class estate, and we are definitely not the only ones. We work in professional roles and still manage to function. Neighbours like their wood burning chimney and I hate it but they've never mentioned the smoke from ours.

Instagrrr · 07/01/2020 22:29

It wouldn’t bother me, would rather someone smoked a spliff than get drunk and rowdy/loud, but looks like I’m in the minority.

VestaTilley · 07/01/2020 22:29

I really disapprove of people smoking weed at all to be honest, even in your own garden. It's one thing for teenagers - but you're parents for crying out loud.

It stinks to high heaven and its very antisocial. If you were my neighbours I'd be unimpressed, and I wouldn't think you were at all respectable.

StoneofDestiny · 07/01/2020 22:29

If your neighbour can smell you doing it, then your husband is clearly not being careful or considerate enough.

SouthWestmom · 07/01/2020 22:29

Well as a student I'd have thought it was really cool, as an older adult with a awareness of the drug trade (trafficking/illegal immigration/organised crime and possibly terrorism according to Europol) and the putative link between poor mental heath and cannabis/drugs I'd probably just avoid you. Quite restrained of the neighbour really - clearly impacts him but he only mentioned it when you raised the subject of smoke

OhTheRoses · 07/01/2020 22:30

I'd just move to a better area.

GreatBigOnion61 · 07/01/2020 22:30

Some of the poshest people I know smoke weed.

I think it’s more acceptable now - half the Government were boasting about their drug shame as students not so long back!

My partner smokes it and I can’t bloody bear it. He doesn’t smoke it in my home nor anywhere near it because of my DC. I also can’t kiss him for a while after he’s had a spliff as it lingers and I just don’t want any trace of it in my system!!

I reckon your neighbour was just mentioning it as he hopes your partner will stop it stinking out his area on a night. Get DP to go for a walk for his smoke instead.

My friend grows her own as it helps with her EDS symptoms. She is now off all the big pharma medicines and saving the NHS a fortune. It’s not all bad.

firsttimemummyd · 07/01/2020 22:31

I certainly wouldn't judge you and I wouldn't allow the remark from your neighbour to upset you. In this day and age there's far worse things for people to be concerned about. You smell it everywhere nowadays I am quite sure your garden is not the only place in your town/village that it could be smelt regularly. It's no ones business!

hettysdrawers · 07/01/2020 22:31

What about the children who are groomed into moving and selling the harmless little herb, or do they not matter as much?

Antihop · 07/01/2020 22:31

I'd be judging you massively. It stinks, it can cause mental health problems, and is linked to many crimes.

whiteroseredrose · 07/01/2020 22:33

Yes, I'd judge because it's illegal. I'm assuming he gets his supply from a drugs dealer so is part of the gangs that are responsible for the county lines business of exploiting children.

LuluBellaBlue · 07/01/2020 22:33

I have mixed feelings around it as I believe the plant can be very beneficial if used correctly however it’s mostly not.
BTW
It’s actually it being mixed with tobacco that makes the smell carry so far and so strong. Pure cannabis on its own doesn’t really smell much and is much much better for you. Wink

kenandbarbie · 07/01/2020 22:33

Yeah I would. I just think it's unpleasant. Tbh I feel the same about ordinary smokers with children too. Most people I know have given up any kind of smoking. They're all into diet, yoga and fitness now.

maloofhoof · 07/01/2020 22:34

Yes I'd look down on you, massively. My neighbour smokes spliffs every single night in the garden. Every single night I smell it coming into my kitchen window/door and up through the bedroom windows. My house stinks of it year round and in summer it's even worse. It's a rank smell, illegal and just selfish. If you don't want your own kids to smell it why should it be ok for your neighbour to tolerate it. It's time your DH grew up, as I'm guessing he's not a teenager!