Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

What's the point in this thread? Most people have said YABU, but your just making excuses and not accepting it?

The only reason it does not smell bad to you or strong or whatever lie you tell yourself, is because you smell it every night, you have gone nose blind to it. To anyone else it's a horrid strong smell, my old neighbours always used to smoke it outside my sons window, so we could never have his window open in the summer, our clothes would stink on the line, it was completely selfish!

But it's ok because your not a druggy family, so it's fine.

I would absolutely think badly of anyone who smokes weed. The idea that it’s innocuous really annoys me.
I work with young people who are affected very badly in terms of mental health by using it themselves or being coerced to transport it from place to place. You can kid yourself that it’s “a few harmless spliffs“ but the minute you buy it you’re part of the huge network of supply that uses children to do adult criminals’ dirty work. It’s not just “hard” drugs that are part of the county lines problem.
And it STINKS.

Oh and the fact that your main concern is what people think of you rather than the actual morality of your actions says it all, really.

Yes I would look down on a druggie inflicting his habit on my private property. It smells disgusting. I’m still at a loss of when it became acceptable.

showmewhatyougot I wanted to see how many people would be bothered by it. It turns out a lot. There’s not much I can do about that so there’s no point in me continuing to post.

moon you could get your partner to stop?

My neighbours always smoke weed in the garden and now their teenage children do when they're out. I think they're scumbags.
If that's the path you want for your boys then crack on.

There is something you could do about it - you could ask your partner to smoke somewhere that wouldn't have the smoke drift into someone else's garden . What about your living room?

If you were my neighbour I would report you. It's illegal. I wouldn't want my family to live next door to drug users. How depressing that some people can't see what the fuss is...

@MoonBaby1 I think the problem you have is that it has become normalised with you, so it has come as a shock that so many people have an issue with it. The fact is that it's not normal, and much as you believe it should be legalised, it hasn't been.

Every night doesn't sound ideal for a middle aged man. I'd consider any more than say a gram or so per week [i.e. much less than a sixteenth of an ounce], with plenty of 'off' days, to be excessive.

It reeks that’s why it bothers people and it’s illegal.

@MoonBaby1 you could try getting him to smoke it further away from the neighbours.

You could even get him some help for his addiction.

It stinks and the smell really travels, worse than cigarettes. Also it supports crime. Smuggling, county lines, money laundering etc.
I'd probably report a neighbour for it, though I expect the police wouldn't be bothered.

@AuntSelmaJane I had a downstairs neighbour do it in exactly the same situation you describe He left last July.

i got told i was overreacting though. And that i was looking down on social housing tenants. Despite being one myself.

Starts from about here..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3633460-AIBU-in-thinking-if-you-have-a-Council-house-and-the-Council-are-modernising-it-you-shouldnt-really-moan-about-it?pg=16

I was told that "surely the smell cant permeate the walls"

"Are you sure that the flat isnt on fire" and "you sound completely unhinged"

And "some tenants smoke weed like the people you look down on on your estate"

I wouldn't judge your husband for smoking it (I myself did for a few years until I was 21) what I wouldn't like is my house smelling like weed...cos it is an awful smell and I wouldn't want my house smelling like it, tell him to go for a walk somewhere so nobody has to smell it

It totally stinks. If he was reported would the police bother to drop in?

I wouldn't judge nor care, but I've lived in places where its legal so don't feel like clutching any pearls over it. Never smoked any as I never had cause to medically wise but knew plenty of people who did. I'm far more judgemental of people who drink infront of their children, any amount, or get blind drunk, but that's glorified with wine mum memes, and is apparently okay because it's legal...

Thereflex9.... Completely agree about alcohol. But society thinks that's fine because as you say, it's legal

Yes I'm afraid so. I don't like illegal drug use and certainly wouldn't want my neighbours smoking them in the garden nearby. The smell is likely to travel into their gardens and, if they open their windows, their home. If not be impressed.

Does the other issues relating to the drug trade not bother you?

Yes I would look down on you both. It’s a disgusting habit that stinks. That is my main complaint. It just stinks and ruins other people’s enjoyment of their own gardens and homes. Smoking it after dark makes no difference. Perhaps your neighbours would like to have their windows open.
Your neighbours can clearly smell it and clearly don’t like it or they wouldn’t have mentioned it.

No, some people smoke it for medical reasons. I see no problem with mature adults enjoying it recreationally however x

Sit and get pissed in your own garden if you want. That's your business as long as you don't do anything as a result of it that impacts on my enjoyment of my home and family life. Sit smoking dope (or anything) and wafting smoke into my garden/home while you do it, you can bet your arse I will look down on you/confront you/report you to the council for the nuisance you are causing.

OP, I'd recommend your partner getting himself a shed at the bottom of the garden, that's what mine has done.
I wouldn't look down on you either, in fact I'd be more incline to invite you round for a brew whilst the 'man children' smoke in the shed.

I do wish people would actually do their research on cannabis instead of spouting out the same old crap.