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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

703 replies

MoonBaby1 · 07/01/2020 22:10

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

OP posts:
maddening · 07/01/2020 23:21

You can get personal air filters which you blow smoke in to, it might help reduce the pong, and in summer there are nice smelling candles that he could light at the same time? Also grow some tall budlea or similar flowery plants, they will help baffle the smoke a bit and be nice and flowery.

BigGreenOlives · 07/01/2020 23:21

County lines, teenager being stabbed like that 14 year old in north London. Big problems with drug dealing on the South Coast where there are poor educational outcomes and lots of homeless. Poor women being used as drug mules and imprisoned thousands of miles away from their families. Yes it would bother me.

AgeLikeWine · 07/01/2020 23:22

Absolutely not.

UK law on possession of cannabis is completely ridiculous, and is driven more by tabloid hysteria and political ignorance than any rational risk assessment. Weed has been legalised or decriminalised in many countries, and many US states. Reform of the law in the U.K. is well overdue.

LaMarschallin · 07/01/2020 23:23

It's happened so many times:

OP: AIBU?

MN: Yes!

OP: No I'm not!

But now there's even a voting button and it plainly shows the majority of posters think you're BU.
And you're still saying, 'Hmm...50/50 then".

Why are you asking; you obviously don't want to hear you're BU?

Somanysocks · 07/01/2020 23:23

@maddening Grin

maddening · 07/01/2020 23:23

Also maybe get a little summer house and he can do it in there with the door shut to contain the smell a bit, you could make it nice with some fairy lights and a garden lounge chair?

JasonPollack · 07/01/2020 23:24

Lots of things stink, dogs stink, bbqs stink you just deal with it it's part of living near others.

Loving the it's illegal crowd. Is it really? If you called the police they wouldn't do a thing. It's tacitly accepted by law enforcement.

maddening · 07/01/2020 23:24

And he can grow his own to avoid the issues of contributing to crime etc

earsup · 07/01/2020 23:26

When I lived in Barcelona suburbs, nearly all the neighbours had some plants on the roof or terrace or in their gardens....its legal to have about 6 I think....my next door nieghbour was also my dentist and she used to like a joint in the evenings...I sometimes had one ...I gave it up when I moved back to UK as the Spanish weed was organic and not the awful skunk here which is sprayed with chemicals etc..!!

Somanysocks · 07/01/2020 23:26

Can't remember the last time the smell of dog wafted over the fence several times a day and stunk out my washing.

Seasonaldisorder · 07/01/2020 23:29

Can't remember the last time the smell of dog wafted over the fence several times a day and stunk out my washing.

Somanysocks 😃

Notajogger · 07/01/2020 23:32

A few a night sounds like problem smoking. I'd be very worried if my DH did that.
And yes, i'd be mighty pissed off if you were my neighbour, the stuff stinks and seems to linger more than other smoke/smells.

partofyoupoursoutofme · 07/01/2020 23:33

No way would I judge! It's your life, your garden, your kids. If you're nice people that's the only thing to go on I reckon.

DeeCeeCherry · 07/01/2020 23:33

No. & cigarette smell I find to be far worse.

I don't smoke weed but don't mind it as long as its greenz.

I'm 100% against skunk weed tho due to the MH/paranoia/sluggishness it leads to. It stinks. & It's an out of control epidemic that's being ignored in the main.

Forcryingoutloudwtf · 07/01/2020 23:36

I was going to say no, I wouldn't care until I got to the boot about a few spliffs every night. That is quite a habit and I would probably think they were a bit stuck in their teenage years.

LunchBoxPolice · 07/01/2020 23:37

My neighbour smokes weed out the back most nights and it stinks. They have kids and yes I judge him for smoking that shit.

FrancisCrawford · 07/01/2020 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueChangeling · 07/01/2020 23:41

I wouldn't begrudge anyone a having a splif at the weekend. I'm very high strung and have one every now and again to help me relax. I don't need to worry about it annoying the neighbours cause they're who I get it off 😀.

I would question the need to have several joints a night and the amount of money it would cost, it must be £40-£60 per week?

averythinline · 07/01/2020 23:42

Yes I would judge esp as you have kids .. people involved in drugs are not "nice" respectable people...
Wtf are these teenagers getting murdered over it's not ice cream ... it's illegal therefore it's part of a shit world..
when you can buy it a at Tesco I may change my mind (unlikely seen too many people damaged )

You'll be happy with your kids in the garden sharing a spliff with dad?

Drabarni · 07/01/2020 23:43

OMG are you our neighbour. Grin
No, of course not if they were respectable and not holding parties every night.
He must be brave unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

FrancisCrawford · 07/01/2020 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhinoskinhaveI · 07/01/2020 23:44

I get very stoned every night for about 20 quid a week, maybe a bit less
I can't see it costing that much Blue

Graphista · 07/01/2020 23:44

The weed is bad enough and I agree wholeheartedly with many posters that it's

Illegal

Offensive

Impacts on the health of others - likely inc your dc

Contributes to dreadful treatment of vulnerable people involved in the trade of it

But what MOST stubs me is that posters apparently missed op says she is MICRODOSING which I think is even worse!

You and your partner both need to quit the drugs - how the hell much are you spending on them?!
For starters!

And before you start "oh but I have awful period pain" I have endo BELIEVE ME I know about dreadful period pain but I've NEVER taken illegal drugs and exposed my dc to the risks that involves to treat them!

Sounds very much like on this subject you and your partner need to grow up!

Although I've NEVER even considered illegal drugs even as a teen. It's not necessary.

maddy68 · 07/01/2020 23:46

Not at all. It's in the privacy of their home. Most of the professional people I know smoke weed

Nothing to look down on..I am more judgy about my neighbours not recycling correctly :)

Potentialmadcatlady · 07/01/2020 23:47

Yes I would judge you...my neighbour does it and my house reeks of it when he does. I have teenagers who have to smell it in their rooms even with windows closed. One of these days I’m going to report him as our our other neighbours who have had enough of it too. It stinks, is illegal and he is incredibly selfish about it.