Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

I would not mind at all. I think most people wouldn't be especially bothered.

It's scummy, chavy, supports an evil industry and can cause significant mental health issues. I hate it.

^This sums it up for me

How unbelievably inconsiderate of your husband, and you're deluded to think it doesn't affect your neighbours because he's smoking in his garden. Selfish selfish people.

Smoking weed every night isn’t a respectable family man; it’s a drug addict.

I wouldn't judge. Before DC I would smoke it in my garden, it doesn't back on to anyone else's. Your neighbour is entitled to feel how they feel though. Some people are fiercely against it.

Well I wouldn’t think any better of you, put it that way.

It’s illegal so your “otherwise respectable” DH is committing a crime on a daily basis, and frankly if he’s obtaining it infrequently in the volumes sufficient for his usage then he’s putting himself (and by extension the family) at risk of a custodial sentence for possession with intent to supply. It’s no different to any other crime.

I’d look down on the weed smoking and burning things in the garden. Cardboard is recyclable you know.

My neighbours do it don't like the smell think it's awful and get annoyed if I have washing out. X

I wouldn't judge at all, some strains do stink, yes, but it helps alot of people balance out and relax. My partner smokes it, he's got aspergers, it help him "be more normal". There are literally thousands of studies to show the health benefits of it. There is still a massive stigma around it. Look at how many countries are now legalising it, and for good reason.

To be honest, I believe most people grow out of it by the time they settle down and have children. I would be fuming if my neighbour subjected me and my family to the smell of that disgusting crap every night and I would absolutely think you were not a nice family if you lived next door to me. I'm not fussed whether it's legal or not, it's disrespectful and selfish. You commented when someone said "smoke on the house" yes, you are right about not doing it due to having children, but your DP doesnt give a shit that other people may not want their children to be smelling it either.

I’d be thinking “why are my neighbours who have SEN kids always stoned and doing it in public like 14 year old scallies?”

I think it's fine, it's your garden and it's at night time. Go for it!
Not sure what the fuss is tbh

I hate the foul stench, it's so antisocial. I can't even stand tobacco smoke so it's a good job that my neighbours don't smoke at all.

BTP North Wales intercepted a man the other day carrying 3kg of the stuff. He had learning difficulties and was being used as a mule.

LTB

I wouldn’t look down on you. I smoke occasionally and am certainly not “scummy” nor “chavvy”

Occasional use I wouldn’t judge at all. Several every night, I’d think he was both selfish as a neighbour and had an issue with overuse. Wouldn’t be too impressed with your burning cardboard either, you’re not likely to be up for neighbour of the year.

Hmmm - it sounds as though the neighbours are not keen about it. I think he should stop doing it out of courtesy.

I also - and more importantly - think that this is a really bad thing to be doing if you have children. Your two young boys will grow and become more aware - and what they will see is their father normalising something that is both illegal and unhealthy. A pretty dreadful example for them; and could lead them into problems later on. My SIL used to be "right on" with her weed smoking and sharing with her children as they became teenagers - one had a bad reaction to it and was sectioned to a psychiatric ward and was on ant-psychotics for years.

And ......... " a few spliffs" every night.....this man has a problem.

So - lots of good reasons for him to stop it, apart from the trivial thought that the neighbours might think you are "not a nice family."

I wouldn’t look down on someone but I would think less of them and avoid them and it would annoy me (smell makes me feel sick).

I don't smoke anything, nor do I take any other drugs. I don't actually drink either...(promise I'm fun at parties). Although I've had my fair share of ex boyfriends with recreational drug habits.
I wouldn't judge you, I don't think it smells bad. If it's not directly under my child's window then I'm not bothered.

I would say all the hand wringing about 'awareness of the drug trade' is quite comical from people who are all using smartphones and wearing clothes that predominantly originate in sweat shops.
Middle class navel gazing at its finest..

Yep I'd look down on you.

The irony of the OP not wanting it being smoked in the house because they have children

Clearly the smell is bothering the neighbour. Why not bake it into hash brownies instead?

Not sure what the fuss is tbh
Probably its the smell that possess people off.
One of tbe primary.schools in the town next to mine ha to send a letter home telling parents that their children were going into school with their clothes smelling of dope and it wasnt on!

Weed smokers, like tobacco smokers become nose 'blind.'

It is foul and think it smells like Steptoe's festering underpants (guessing here though).

Yes it is still socially unacceptable to smoke an illegal substance.

That's not to mention it bloody stinks and the smell seems to travel far, so it's hugely inconsiderate to everyone around you.

So sorry, yes you would be 'those' neighbours, maybe not screaming obscenities or playing loud music, but anti social in a different and still annoying way.

If your husband has been doing this for a while, you should recognise that the neighbours 'joke' comment is most likely their way of saying that they are pissed off about it....

It wouldn’t bother me at all. I much prefer the smell of weed to the smell of fags.

Wouldn't judge it for being illegal or uncouth or anything like that. But if I was getting wafts of the smell every night that would annoy me. The smoke travels and the smell is so distinctive. Maybe he could go for a walk somewhere without properties nearby to smoke.