Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

I think a lot of younger households will be smoking weed. Not in an antisocial way but just the way generations before us would have gone down the pub. I said before that our garden dosnt back onto anyone else’s.

Your neighbour was complaining, just trying to be subtle about it.

If your DH is smoking it every night, he’s got an addiction issue. I remember people saying as teenagers that you can’t get addicted to weed and it’s absolute nonsense. I shared a flat at uni with a girl who was completely addicted and had to smoke every day or she was a complete wreck. Anyone smoking it every evening as a matter of course has an issue.

I have twins with SEN and it’s bloody stressful and so difficult, I’m back to smoking cigarettes which I’m about to quit yet again - I get it. But I make sure I don’t drink regularly or take drugs because I imagine it would be very easy to become reliant on anything mood altering when life is so difficult.

Having disabled kids is also blooming expensive - imagine how much awesome specialist kit you could buy with all that weed money!

Would I be judgmental? Not really, but it will likely affect how the people around you view you.

50/50 ??? Have you been smoking as well??

I would most certainly not judge. I smoke weed as it helps with my chronic pain illness. I am quite surprised at some of the extreme reactions on here to be honest.

I wouldn't look down on you, I wouldn't care as long as it wasn't wafting into my house.

I think a lot of younger households will be smoking weed. Not in an antisocial way but just the way generations before us would have gone down the pub. I said before that our garden dosnt back onto anyone else’s.

I mean this kindly but I think your perception of it is skewed by how normalised it is in your relationship. At 20 I knew plenty of people who smoked weed. I’m 37 now and only know a couple and they definitely don’t smoke it daily.

Sorry but it’s scummy and I wouldn’t want to associate with druggie criminals, never mind be forced to live next to them.

I’m very much a live & let live person but, any form of smoking is feral. Weed kills less brain cells than Prosecco however, the passive smoking aspect of hitting the skunk makes it more antisocial.

So not 50/50!!!! Deluded I'm afraid

What’s a ‘younger household’? I’m 30, was a smoker, still partake occasionally at parties and think you sound like shit neighbours. The stench must be awful. And SEVERAL joints a night? That’s just addiction and not something I’d be viewing so lightly...

Also: 50/50 my arse.

It's illegal and it is a gateway drug to more abusive substances not to mention the damage it does to your braincells it can cause years of damage and MH issue's

.* I said before that our garden dosnt back onto anyone else’s.*

Well it obviously does if your neighbour can smell it, or you don't appreciate how far it travels.

I hate the smell too and I think this would bother me, but I've come to accept that times have really changed with regard to its usage.

I live in a large city on the South coast and these days you can literally smell it everywhere in the centre, day or night. For many people (mostly men) around 40 and younger I think it's just become almost as acceptable as alcohol (and better for you)!

One of my close friend's DH is a very successful media lawyer in London and five years ago gave up alcohol for cannabis, so it seems to be enjoyed by all backgrounds.

This summer was the first time we noticed its proliferation - we were walking home from the beach along the promenade on the last day of term and there was literally a giant mushroom cloud of it hanging over the adjoining lawns, which were covered in groups of smoking teenagers!

Your garden might not back into anyone's but your husband still smokes so much that neighbors can smell it. That's really not ok. You choose to do something illegal as you don't think it's a big deal. However it's smelly and that's antisocial and forcing your choice onto other people.

Your neighbour has told you he can smell it and strongly implied it’s unpleasant. I’d judge someone for doing something antisocial that meant I couldn’t enjoy my garden as much as I wanted to.

A few spliffs a night is a huge amount too.

It's legal for medical use and will soon be legal for recreational use, I don't see what the problem is

I don't smoke and I wouldn't care or look down on you.

said before that our garden dosnt back onto anyone else’s.

^ smoke doesn't drift in one direction, are you also saying that you don't have anyone to either side of your garden? Plus as people have said, it can often be smelt several houses away so unless you are completely isolated it's still a nuisance (as your neighbours comment proves)

Every time I smell it I judge. Not gonna lie. It brings a Neighborhood down as well that's how I feel.
I also had a neighbour who every summer would wait until people mowed their lawn and he would light up his spliff thinking the smell of grass somehow masked his manly BO smelling weed.
Pissed me right off as it made all my washing stink as well.

You don't smoke in the house because of your kids but you're quite happy to smoke weed and be a great role model to your kids aren't ya 👍

I would suggest vaping it rather than smoking it though, better for your lungs, apart from that it's very medicinal and beneficial 😊

If they can smell it, DH is making them ingest his drugs.

Also, engaging in a level of criminal activity in front of people you don't know as if they will be nudge nudge in on it, is putting them on the spot, perhaps making them feel uncomfortable/concerned and well, it's a bit disrespectful.

I don't like to judge and cause people problems, so I would probably be looking for somewhere else to live rather than calling the police etc.

It's illegal and the smell is really antisocial. I'd definitely judge.

All the people who say they don't see what the problem is, IT STINKS AND DOESN'T STAY IN YOUR OWN BOUNDARY.

I'd judge,. Massively. Along with the rest of the 75% on this thread.