DH called me an old soak in the middle of the night

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That’s it, really - we’d both been at a party, I sometimes talk in my sleep, so in my head was explaining to ds how to play a game, dh woke up and called me an old soak. I am 48 and probably quite sensitive about my age. We have a visitor so couldn’t sleep anywhere else, cried for a while and then got up and I walked two miles to get my car. Currently sat in a car park feeling sorry for myself. Not feeling the happiest of New Years at all!

That's a bit mean, was he drunk or just chuntering because you were keeping him awake?

He woke up and flung that at me. All a total middle of the night thing. But it really stung.

Google says old soak means drunk, was he calling you drunk?

Do you habitually get drunk?

It wasn’t a nice term to use but I there any truth in the ‘soak’ bit of it?

You aren’t old.

We were both drunk before we went to bed! This was about 4 hours later. It’s the old that pissed me off.

Umm... i don’t want to sound harsh OP but that seems a bit of an over reaction to a fairly inoffensive name.
He was probably a bit irritable at being woken. Or was it said in a teasing way?

Or are you upset because there’s a grain of truth - do you drink too much?
Or is it simply the old part?

Is there more going on here in terms of your relationship? Because otherwise crying and leaving the house seems like a fairly big reaction to this.

Do you both know what it actually means?

If said humorously then I wouldn't be bothered but if he meant it then I'd be upset that's how he saw me and I'd also look at why he said it.

Old soak just means drunk.
Were you?

We both have a drink if it’s the weekend/NYE. He is 4 years younger than me, doesn’t usually matter.

Old soak is a collocation - the two words are often used together. I don’t think I’ve ever heard soak used like that without old in front of it.

Not that bad really - just a joke about having had too much to drink. Unless there’s a lot more history we don’t know.

If it was the old part then I doubt he meant this literally - surely he is a similar age?
‘Old soak’ is just an expression - the focus is more in the drinking than the age so I suspect that he was just trying to point out that you’d had a bit too much

Also are you ok to drive if you’ve been drinking loads until late?

You overreacted.

Were you really sober enough to drive?

Seems an over reaction OP.

I find the phrase a little humourous, I have used it towards my OH several times.

Am I overreacting? I don’t usually walk miles before dawn and sit in car parks. Thanks for being kind to me.

Agree, in this expression, soaks are always old.

If this was a one-off, then yes it’s an overreaction. You may be feeling sensitive about getting older, and most of us drank too much last night. Go home and laugh it off

I don’t usually walk miles before dawn and sit in car parks.

I fon’t Think most of us do. It does seem a rather extreme response to a gentle bane calling after being woken up.
How is the relationship generally?

If it is literally just the age gap that’s bothering you then with the greatest of kindness you are being very over sensitive. Please don’t Drive as you may we’ll still be over the limit

Doing that was part ofnthe overreaction! And your choice, not a good one, especially to drive.

Best work out why, and after some rest try to address that, eg you’ve mentioned that being older than your dp is an issue, or perhaps there are issues in your relationship.

It's the kind of thing my dad would call me if I was really drunk, and he is like 40 years older than me! YABU stop being so sensitive about your age, it is just a number. I know people who were old at 20 and others mid 60s I would still class as young.

You’ve way overreacted. Old soak is a phrase. What bit didn’t you like - the old bit? 48 isn’t old. Crying and walking two miles in the middle of the night is extreme. How are you going to get home?

I think you were overreacting unless there's back story and also you could have got into trouble with the police for sitting in your car while presumably over the limit.

In the kindest way, it does sound like a massive overreaction to a bit of name calling which isn't even that severe. I've been called a lot worse!

However it's upset you and there's obviously a reason behind that - either it's touched a nerve with you or there's other issues in the relationship?

Blimey, we are much the same age and you are sensitive about your it, hardly old is it?

Complete overreaction if you ask me.