DH called me an old soak in the middle of the night

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That’s it, really - we’d both been at a party, I sometimes talk in my sleep, so in my head was explaining to ds how to play a game, dh woke up and called me an old soak. I am 48 and probably quite sensitive about my age. We have a visitor so couldn’t sleep anywhere else, cried for a while and then got up and I walked two miles to get my car. Currently sat in a car park feeling sorry for myself. Not feeling the happiest of New Years at all!

Inher it’s not totally outside of his control though, is it? Anyone who is prone to behaviour that impacts badly on the people around them when drunk should perhaps think about cutting down on their drinking. Not give up altogether necessarily but at least should recognise that if they are doing something in drink that is a bit of an issue then they should try to make sure it happens less often or in less extreme ways.

If he is habitually rudeto you, OP, i think you should talk seriously about that. It’s not acceptable. But otherwise, I ithink you might forgive a drunken/ hungover blurt in the middle of the night.
I wonder if your unhappiness this morning is about something deeper wrong with thd relationship. Worth talking it out with him.
Now i hope your new year goes much better today and onwards!

Bit of an overreaction, were you still drunk op? In which case you shouldn't be in charge of a car.

I'm not so sure why you are so upset about this.Even if I was pissed off there is no way I would have got out of bed in the early hours and walked miles to sit in a car park. I'd probably have said sod you then and gone back to sleep.
Is it a one off or indicative of your relationship as a whole?
People rarely react like this unless there is something wrong in the relationship or deep down you know it isn't working or have deep rooted issues about ageing.
I think it's time to sit yourself down and have a think about everything.
I remember going off for a long walk out of the blue on a day out and not telling my ex where I was going when I knew our relationship had turned bad. We divorced a few years later, should have done it sooner.

It all sounds a bit stupid to me. so get real if you can

It might be an annoyance about your talking in your sleep - like when partners snore there's a point where the other partner gets annoyed.

He said it due to annoyance at the regularity of your talking loudly in your sleep due to being drunk so often. If so have a think about your drinking maybe take an honest look at that.

On a tangent (due to the childish scrap, about if old soak is or isn't gendered, between people that need to be right and have the last word) I've just discovered "What shall we do with a drunken sailor" has twenty-one verses!!!

You've overreacted.

Yeah sometimes when l've had a drink l take things too personally as well

Poor Op, no one is reading your updates. Ignore them.
Post booze miseries can be grim. I think anyone whose had a bit much has been there at some point.

As for us we are wondering wtf we watched on tv for hours after midnight after attempting to puzzle out Craig David.

Do you have a problem with alcohol?
And old soak is someone who drinks all the time, nothing to do with their age!

Agree with madcat, there’s probably some underlying issues given your reaction. If there aren’t then do think about your reaction and judgment, it’s OTT and you would have been creating a big drama and been reckless driving if you hadn’t got a sense check from AIBU.

Happy New Year OP!
Unless there are underlying issues in your relationship I think the alcohol just made you extra sensitive and overreact.
I say this because at all ages from teen to now I have had the once a year completely out of character storm off due to drink.
For me it's usually because I'm drunker then I expected to be based on what I drank because I'd not eaten enough or was due my period.
I hope you've made up and the anxiety after alcohol isn't too bad for you today.

I think yabu if this was an isolated, middle of the night, half asleep, drunk comment. I say ‘old’ as a prefix but that might be my Irish heritage. It doesn’t necessarily mean old as in age. E.G What’s that old rubbish on the TV?

100% overreaction, but sounds like you were pissed, so as a drunk person waltzing off to collect your car probably sounded reasonable.
I'm guessing you then drove said car back home, while over the limit.
I think you need to assess the effect alcohol has on you, as your reactions when drunk are unreasonable and downright dangerous.

@Lionsleepstonight OP already said she called a taxi home

Maybe she did, maybe she didn't.

Am I overreacting? I don’t usually walk miles before dawn and sit in car parks

Yes, hugely. But at least you realised it and called a taxi.

My parents used to call me an “old sook“ from around the age of 6. Different meaning of course but I didn’t read it as some kind of comment on my advanced age.

Bloody hell, that's a ridiculous over reaction.......if you'd heard what I called my OH when he woke me up last night your ears would have dropped off at the horror of it all. 😂😂😂

Agree, in this expression, soaks are always old.

Yes, like farts - they're usually old, too!

I think in some contexts "old" can be almost a term of endearment ("old chap", "old mucker", "silly old sod" etc).

I certainly wouldn't have been offended if DP had said it to me, but I also know he wouldn't have meant it in that way. For a start, I usually get a crippling migraine long before I get pissed, and we're both old, so being old in years isn't a big deal.

When people say 'you old X' it can be kind of a mocking endearment if you see what I mean. 'Old soak' isn't usually meant meanly, it's just teasing. I know what it's like to feel sensitive about your age, though. Hope you feel better about it soon- the feeling comes and goes in my experience. Hugs xxx

Sounds like you were probably both rather drunk and overreacted - him to your sleep talking and you to his comment. I hope you can both laugh about it and make up this morning.

My only concerns would be if you are regularly drunk and go over the recommended weekly limits? Was he trying to hint at something? Additionally, does he have form for making snide comments - is this part of a pattern? If its a no to those questions then just let it blow over and accept that it was a one off down to too much alcohol.

If you've been drinking then it's an offence to be in charge of a vehicle, even if you aren't driving it, so I suggest you get out and walk back. I hope you haven't driven

My mate's son got a ban for being asleep, pissed, in the back of his car.

surely the answer is to call him things rhyming with "maggot" and go back to sleep?

"old" as such isn't really the problem here, I think. But things like this are better examined when sober

It might be an annoyance about your talking in your sleep - like when partners snore there's a point where the other partner gets annoyed.

My ExH used to talk in his sleep when he was pissed, it was fucking annoying. Sometimes a pillow over his face was really tempting.