DH called me an old soak in the middle of the night

[Somethingelseentirely]

That’s it, really - we’d both been at a party, I sometimes talk in my sleep, so in my head was explaining to ds how to play a game, dh woke up and called me an old soak. I am 48 and probably quite sensitive about my age. We have a visitor so couldn’t sleep anywhere else, cried for a while and then got up and I walked two miles to get my car. Currently sat in a car park feeling sorry for myself. Not feeling the happiest of New Years at all!

You had been drinking and this could explain your emotional response. In fact the words old soak are almost one word. Calling you a drunk is more offensive than calling you old so you are getting this a bit around your neck. The fact that you went out in the early hours suggests you were still drunk or hung over as the alcohol was leaving your system. Either way you probably shouldnt have driven. He was drunk too so whats the difference? No judgment but not much of a problem really. Hopenyou feel better soon

He basically said you're a bit drunk in a totally inoffensive way.

What is of more concern is that you took your keys, then got into & took charge of a motor vehicle when you had been drinking. You could have been arrested just for that, but worse in your drunk state you might have done something that hurt someone. That is not ok.

YABU obviously

I hope you walked back, if you were drunk when you went to bed you were still too drunk to drive 4 hours later btw.And too drunk to remember this basic fact!

cross post!

but so true, wish people could remember that a "coffee" or " a few hours" are not enough to sober you enough to drive

You are literally the only person on this thread that thinks this term is gendered and ageist.

I agree. Old lush, otoh, is definitely female, and old tosspot is male.

Pisshead is neutral too, imo.

It has never occurred to me before that there are so many words for being a bit of a drinker.

You're being a bit silly...

I think it is an overreaction to be honest, unless there's much more to it than you have said.

DH is 56 and I am 53. We do jokingly call each other things like "old fart", "grumpy old fart", "daft old goat" etc. Neither of us mean it in a nasty way.

To be honest, I think that alcohol can make many of us oversensitive and prone to overanalysing in these situations. It is a depressant after all, and some of its effects are still felt hours later/the next day.

I hope your day improves.

You're more upset at being called old than of being called a drunk?

If he is habitually rudeto you, OP, i think you should talk seriously about that. It’s not acceptable

I would say I am habitually rude to my dp when he wakes me up in the middle of the night snoring, worse if we have both had a drink! Actually in comparison, what the do said here is relativily kind. I normally start nudging and telling him to 'please god shut the fuck up!'

Glad you are home safe OP. Once I hit peri menopause drinking affected my emotions hugely. Why not try dry January?

Complete overreaction I think!

Yeah sometimes when l've had a drink l take things too personally as well

I wonder if that's why Private Eye used the term "tired and emotional" to describe a pisshead politician? I've known a few people who get tearful when drunk.

I just love everybody and find everything amusing when I'm pissed. I'm a very jolly drunk, which is partly why I miss not being able to get drunk like I used to.

I would be hurt too if somebody I loved insulted me while I slept.

I don't think you need to get a grip. But I do think you need to own ageing like a boss. I'm YOUR age by the way. I'm not sitting here at 36 thinking I'm old. I'm staring down the barrel of 50 and I'm grappling with ageing and what it means, to me, for me. I reckon that's the way to go for you.

What is actually wrong with being 48? Was it Susie Orbach who said ''Ageing is not shameful''. She was right.

Sorry if I'm digging too deep here. But it's not like he's hacked ageing himself.

Overreaction to the phrase. It was just a jokey way of saying you were drunk. Also surprised you were more upset by the ‘old’ then the ‘soak’.

I hope you haven't driven

If people RTFT the OP got a taxi home hours ago.

I'd be more offended by the implication behind 'soak' than 'old' tbh.

On the basis of the info provided in your post - “old soak” is one is the more kinder descriptions of your behaviour

Bonkers

Do you have a problem with alcohol

BINGO!

Has anyone said "you shouldn't have got in the car" yet? Of course they have....for 7 pages...

Glad you're feeling better about it now, op.

But maybe you need to think about things you can do to make yourself feel better about yourself so this doesn't keep happening.

@Brefugee sorry but are you suggesting the OP uses a deeply offensive homophobic term? I bloody hope not

I wonder if you're irony meter is broken?

@Brefugee how is your suggestion ironic? I don’t think I know anyone who suggests using homophobic slurs ironically. Please explain

StringmummyI think it was a reference to the recent speculation over whether the Gavin and Stacey programme should have included The Fairytale of New York because the song includes a word that has more than one meaning

Strongmummy sorry typo