AIBU?
Worst Christmas Day I have ever had
sadchristmas1 · 25/12/2019 17:07
This is our first year DP and I are having our own Christmas at home, we have only been together for 5 years, have a 2yo and one on the way. We were both up til about 2am wrapping presents and preparing food etc. This morning dd woke up at 7.30, he brought her downstairs gave her breakfast and hasn’t left the sofa since. We opened our presents (he sat on the sofa the whole time while I handed them out and tidied up wrapping paper etc) then straight after he fell asleep (about 9.30am). Me and DD watched tv for a bit then she wanted to go back to bed (late night) so she went to sleep about 12 and I made a start on Christmas lunch. DP snoring on the sofa the whole time. Took me 3.5 hours to make lunch, 3 meats all the trimmings etc completely alone. Woke both of them up when it was ready, DD refused to eat, DP are 3 mouthfuls then went back to sleep on the sofa where he still is. I have spent my whole Christmas Day alone, now I’m sat in the dining room on my own drinking non alcoholic Prosecco while dd watches tv next to snoring dp. I feel like I’ve had the shittest Christmas Day, I worked hard for 0 appreciation. Anyone else feeling shit?
Am I being unreasonable?
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bridgetreilly · 25/12/2019 17:12
Yeah, that's crap. Next year, make a better plan that doesn't involve both of you being up until 2am, doesn't involve cooking three roast dinners (seriously, that is ridiculous), and has a fair division of labour between the two of you. If you're cooking, he's doing childcare and later, he'll do kitchen clean up while you do childcare, and at some point, there will be all the family together.
KellyHall · 25/12/2019 17:14
You poor thing 
Learn from this and never do as much for anyone ever again! It's not a family Christmas if you don't all contribute.
I recently felt I had to make a rota for myself and my dh so everything is more equal. It's been a couple of months now and it's definitely helped.
Speak up or expect it (and the resulting resentment) to get worse and worse.
finchill · 25/12/2019 17:14
Have you actually said anything to him, made a point of asking him to help, explaining that it’s his responsibility too?
He may have grown up with his mum doing all the work on Christmas Day (as is common in a lot of houses) and just thinks this is the norm?
I know you shouldn’t have to ask, but if it’s pointed out to him then he may realise. Hope your Christmas next year is better.
Elbeagle · 25/12/2019 17:14
Up until 2 wrapping presents and preparing food, then 3.5 hours lunch prep, for 3 of you? Why?!
We have a 6 year old, 4 year old and 11 month old. Went to bed at the normal time last night, and did rib of beef with all the trimmings 10 today and didn’t spend anywhere near 3.5 hours in the kitchen!
Who wanted 3 meats? You? DH?
choli · 25/12/2019 17:15
Took me 3.5 hours to make lunch, 3 meats all the trimmings etc completely alone. Woke both of them up when it was ready, DD refused to eat, DP are 3 mouthfuls then went back to sleep on the sofa where he still is
So you did that for lunch for you, DP and a 2 year old? I think you are at fault here.
ToEarlyForDecorations · 25/12/2019 17:16
I’m absolutely exhausted, this pregnancy is killing my back and hips and I’ve been standing up all bloody day cooking and cleaning and tidying while he gets to sleep
Erm, would liberal application of the word, 'bollocks' been useful today ?
It goes like this:
Bollocks to cleaning.
Bollocks to tidying up.
Bollocks to husband (being allowed to) sleeping the day away on the soft.
Gogreen · 25/12/2019 17:17
It sounds like poor planning and over planning on your part, plus your only child is a toddler, you need to relax a little, you didint have to go all out like you did, although your husband shouldn’t have slept all day.
Sounds like your a newish mum and want to do the best of everything for everyone, hard lesson to learn here but it’s not realistic, chill out and enjoy yourself too...let things go a little.
Horehound · 25/12/2019 17:18
Why did you make three meats?! That's ridiculous really.
To be honest mine is also pretty tame since it's just me, DH and our 17 week old..we said we'd just have a nice quiet Xmas but it's tooooo quiet! I'm bit doing this again, it's bit fun just any day really but with some extra food and some gifts to open. We're both tired so can't even get excited about it much. Baby has puked on us both so now we've gone back into our pyjamas as our nice stuff is sicky.
ToEarlyForDecorations · 25/12/2019 17:19
If I may continue:
Bollocks to husband being allowed to sleep all day on the sofa
Bollocks to doing anything more than the bare minimum to get a meal on the table.
Bollocks to any washing up, cleaning or tidying after the meal.
Your husband wakes up and does the fucking lot of washing up etc in the kitchen before he goes anywhere. If he wakes up and thinks he's going to the pub tell him not to bother coming back.
Oh, and he's putting your daughter to bed and then you both will be having a little chat about today.
AllergicToAMop · 25/12/2019 17:20
What food were you preparing until 2AM if you had to still spend 3.5 hours cooking today?
I am sorry you feel crap, but wow. I am quite with @lovemenorca
Next year either wake him up or don't go overboard if it's just 3 of you. It's first Christmas by yourself so next time you will know what needs to be done and what can absolutely be scrapped to have a relaxing day. My DH and I spent most day watching movies, napping and checking on goose in the oven. That's my perfect Christmas. You will find yours too soon
Ragwort · 25/12/2019 17:21
And yet again, a mumsnetter complaining about a useless DH and then saying 'and I am expecting our second baby .....'
What do women go on to have another baby in these situations, I can't believe that the man changes character so suddenly, it's as if you don't want to face up to the reality of a useless DH. 
.
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