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Original poster

Worst Christmas Day I have ever had

207 replies

sadchristmas1 · 25/12/2019 17:07

This is our first year DP and I are having our own Christmas at home, we have only been together for 5 years, have a 2yo and one on the way. We were both up til about 2am wrapping presents and preparing food etc. This morning dd woke up at 7.30, he brought her downstairs gave her breakfast and hasn’t left the sofa since. We opened our presents (he sat on the sofa the whole time while I handed them out and tidied up wrapping paper etc) then straight after he fell asleep (about 9.30am). Me and DD watched tv for a bit then she wanted to go back to bed (late night) so she went to sleep about 12 and I made a start on Christmas lunch. DP snoring on the sofa the whole time. Took me 3.5 hours to make lunch, 3 meats all the trimmings etc completely alone. Woke both of them up when it was ready, DD refused to eat, DP are 3 mouthfuls then went back to sleep on the sofa where he still is. I have spent my whole Christmas Day alone, now I’m sat in the dining room on my own drinking non alcoholic Prosecco while dd watches tv next to snoring dp. I feel like I’ve had the shittest Christmas Day, I worked hard for 0 appreciation. Anyone else feeling shit?

OP posts:
MooseBreath · 25/12/2019 22:16

He's a dick for sleeping all day instead of spending the day with his child. You're a mug for making 3 meats and doing the wrapping at 2am on Christmas Eve. Tone it down, it's just one day.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 25/12/2019 22:18

Jeez. This post sounds like it would fit in on the Christmas martyrs thread, where anyone who doesn't do this self-flagellates themselves for not giving The Children (won't somebody think of them?!) the most perfect day ever known to womanhood for fear of irredeemably scarring them.

With all kindness OP, get a grip. You purposely waded into the misery and now, surprise surprise, it made you miserable.

Livingoncake · 25/12/2019 22:23

Next year, scale down the meal and plan something simple for the three of you. If he says anything about wanting three meats (greedy fucker), tell him that you won’t be doing that, you’ll be doing a single turkey crown with potatoes and veg (or whatever you decide on), and if he wants anything else he will have to do it himself. And stick to it. Don’t faff around trying to make his Christmas perfect like his mother did - he’s a grown man, ffs!

As for this year... not much else you can do now, I suppose. But letting his pregnant wife cook his ideal Christmas dinner for 3 hours while he slept was very selfish, and you should tell him that. Tell him you’re very disappointed that he demanded a massive meal, then wouldn’t pull his weight to prepare it. It really isn’t ok.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 25/12/2019 22:25

For my dinner, I had;

Steak - the only thing I had to actually cook. Plus -

Fancy beef dripping chips (oven)
Ready made pigs in blankets (oven)
Posh prepped veg selection from Waitrose (microwave)
Potato gratin (ready made Waitrose again, oven again)

Took about 30mins star at to finish and v easy to multiply up by more people in the same time.

Dessert has been a bit of Yule Log.

jellycatspyjamas · 25/12/2019 22:26

all I wanted was for them to actually eat it and for him to at least stay awake so I had someone to talk to

I think your expectation that your toddler would be eating a substantial Christmas dinner is pretty unrealistic much less one with three different kinds of meat. You chose to go way overboard and he didn’t join you in that - you live and learn, scale it right back next year.

BellyButton85 · 25/12/2019 22:33

People who leave all the wrapping and food prep until last minute on Christmas eve then cry about it get zero sympathy from me!

BellyButton85 · 25/12/2019 22:36

And I wouldn't have made a Christmas dinner for us and a toddler, and three meats, wtf, why?! You should have just booked to eat out

HannaYeah · 25/12/2019 22:36

I get it. Sounds like you had a lovely day.

I don’t think your DP is a jerk though. Just tired from being up so late.

Just learn from it and plan things differently next time so you aren’t both running yourselves ragged and lacking in sleep.

M3lon · 25/12/2019 22:37

I'd be very worried if my DH couldn't wake up for more than a quick glance all day. In fact I'd be phoning 111.

Has he not been properly conscious all day?

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 25/12/2019 22:37

3 meats all the trimmings

For two adults and a toddler? Bloody hell.

No, he shouldn't have slept all day, nd you should talk to him about that. But you made a rod for your own back in choosing to prepare such an unnecessarily complex meal.

choli · 25/12/2019 22:38

I can picture the OPs husband rolling his eyes and just pretending to be asleep just to escape the bullshit.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 25/12/2019 22:38

Also, I dont know any adults who could sleep all day unless they were either ill or seriously hungover. He didn't eat either. Are you sure he's ok?

BellyButton85 · 25/12/2019 22:39

Oh and tell your mother to do her own fucking meat

NotGenerationAlpha · 25/12/2019 22:39

Agree with others that you sound like a Christmas martyr. Why on earth you are up till 2 wrapping presents. And why do three meats and trimmings for two adults. You are just asking for it.

If you like it, then it’s fine. Don’t say you make all the effort for others. I do it for 4 or 5 (of MIL is here). Same usual lunch but just add a xmasy pudding which I don’t normally do. Today it was a Yule log. Add some xmas crackers. And we have xmas lunch. I don’t wrap any of Santa’s presents. Just stuff the lot into the stocking and sack in original packaging. The presents under the tree were from us and put under the tree whenever they are ready from early dec. you can choose to do things easier.

HannaYeah · 25/12/2019 22:42

Lonely! Not lovely!

insanepizza · 25/12/2019 22:50

Aah you will live and learn. You should've napped when they napped and gone with the flow. No one needs three meats, even if it is for your mums tomorrow. Cleaning can always wait.

Don't be a martyr, people don't love you more for it they just start expecting it.

Just look after yourself

Goldwispa · 25/12/2019 22:53

Tell other half next year is his turn to cook

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 25/12/2019 22:59

Even if he asked for 3 meats, surely the moment you realised he wasn't going to do anything to help would be the moment you scale your cooking right back? Or maybe even not cook at all - make a sandwich?

What was the thought process? He made it clear that he cba to help, so you went all out to recreate his favourite childhood Xmas meal regardless?!

Audreyhelp · 25/12/2019 23:01

Well to be honest it doesn’t take any longer to pot three meats in the oven or one . You don’t really have to stand in the kitchen and watch them cook. Also should have been a lot more organised with wrapping .

I used to do my wrapping Xmas eve sort of learnt from it and don’t do it any more .

Livingoncake · 25/12/2019 23:06

Actually, why didn’t one of you put the meat in the oven when you got up in the morning?

milveycrohn · 25/12/2019 23:14

I am a bit gobsmacked!
Do some people actually cook several times of meat for Christmas dinner?
I have only ever cooked one, unless you count the pigs in blankets, etc.
The hardest thing about a roast dinner, is the timing, so everything is ready at the same time. Otherwise, most of it can go in the oven. One can buy ready prepared vergetables, so even that chore can be avoided.
Maximum number, I have ever cooked for is 8, but now far fewer.

bluebell34567 · 25/12/2019 23:16

look at the good side. you have lots of nice food now, no need to cook again for some time, you can all enjoy it for a few days and you can all have a rest.
kids dont eat much and men can fall asleep sometimes like that, they cant take the stress like we do (but he should help i agree).

managedmis · 25/12/2019 23:25

Yup. Same here.

3 year old DD barfed all over me, too many Ferrero Rochers. Fun times, straight in the shower and her to bed.

Cooked a ham, it was 'ready sliced' looked like a crusty vulva once it was baked, really bloody dry Confused awful really.

Period started heavy last night whilst at BIL's, blood all over the sodding bed, and can't remember where I put the friggin soiled sanitary pads, hope there not still at BIL's somewhere Hmm

AloneLonelyLoner · 25/12/2019 23:31

@ZaraW I'm really sorry. This is the worst of Christmases.

I have never gotten over the loss of my brother so I understand.

OP, yes he's a lazy bum, but by god woman you do this to yourself. Two adults and a toddler (even with taking food to your mother's on Boxing Day). You brought this crap on yourself and you should learn to speak up.

yumyumpoppycat · 25/12/2019 23:41

How weird the majority of people voting have said yanbu yet the overwhelming feedback seems to be that the OP is BU. OP I think your title set the tone - you are not having a tv perfect christmas but actually nothing majorily awful has happened and you cant expect a 3 year old to understand that you have gone to loads of effort for her - I would have been happy to have my 3 year old take a nap then sit quietly with their dad watching christmas tv so I could get on with some cooking in peace. Your dp has def been unreasonable by saying he would make christmas dinner and then not doing it but he did stay up late with you and get up with your dd for breakfast as someone else mentioned. Also on the one hand you are saying your dp wanted all the meat and then on the other hand that it is being taken to your mums so wont get wasted, maybe there has been a miscommunication and he planned to cook it later in the evening - if just 3 of you it doesn't make that much difference when you eat it.