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Original poster

Worst Christmas Day I have ever had

207 replies

sadchristmas1 · 25/12/2019 17:07

This is our first year DP and I are having our own Christmas at home, we have only been together for 5 years, have a 2yo and one on the way. We were both up til about 2am wrapping presents and preparing food etc. This morning dd woke up at 7.30, he brought her downstairs gave her breakfast and hasn’t left the sofa since. We opened our presents (he sat on the sofa the whole time while I handed them out and tidied up wrapping paper etc) then straight after he fell asleep (about 9.30am). Me and DD watched tv for a bit then she wanted to go back to bed (late night) so she went to sleep about 12 and I made a start on Christmas lunch. DP snoring on the sofa the whole time. Took me 3.5 hours to make lunch, 3 meats all the trimmings etc completely alone. Woke both of them up when it was ready, DD refused to eat, DP are 3 mouthfuls then went back to sleep on the sofa where he still is. I have spent my whole Christmas Day alone, now I’m sat in the dining room on my own drinking non alcoholic Prosecco while dd watches tv next to snoring dp. I feel like I’ve had the shittest Christmas Day, I worked hard for 0 appreciation. Anyone else feeling shit?

OP posts:
WorldsOnFire · 25/12/2019 18:04

I’m 26 weeks and feeling crap atm as still sickly.
I’d have thrown a nice ‘cook in the bag’ chicken in with a tray of pre prepped roasties and veggies.

No need for things to have got so complicated. It’s annoying DH has been asleep all day but If he’s tired and at home all day, and your DD wanted to sleep too, why didn’t you just stick your feet up with a biscuit and relax?

Sounds like you had a very specific idea of how the day should go and your DH/DD have irritated you by doing their own thing.

gingersausage · 25/12/2019 18:05

Why in God’s name are people wrapping presents at stupid o’clock on Christmas Eve? It’s really not that difficult to get it done a few days beforehand.

There’s a general theme on here today of women making ridiculous amounts of effort for everyone else in their household who couldn’t give a toss about Christmas. Why? Just stop the insanity. Get off Facebook and Instagram and stop trying desperately to “make memories” and just bloody relax. If you managed your own expectations, your day would be a hell of a lot less shit.

lifeonaloop · 25/12/2019 18:05

My mum, sister, cousin and kids turned up an hour and a half late for Christmas dinner and then trashed my house so I feel your pain.

Next year I'm not inviting anyone.

Whoops75 · 25/12/2019 18:05

Self inflicted nonsense

Wrapping can be done anytime and dinner can be easy.
If I was your partner I would think you ruined my Christmas.

BacktoMA · 25/12/2019 18:06

Well is this normal behaviour for him?

A couple of things would have made the day easier- being better prepared so not wrapping until 2am and not doing a 3.5 hour lunch with 3 meats for 3 people. But if this is usual behaviour for him then it's that MN cliche of you having a partner problem unfortunately.

TheMouldNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 25/12/2019 18:06

@B0bbin we split opening the presents over a few days as our kids get overwhelmed opening too many presents. We've held back about a third to open on Boxing Day and Friday.

RozHuntleysStump · 25/12/2019 18:10

My DP needs telling what to do and in fairness then gets on with it. I wish he didn't need telling but whatever! He will do whatever I tell him. He just doesn't seem to notice or think about what needs doing. Very irritating. Will your DP at least do stuff when asked?

I can't get over 3 types of meat.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 25/12/2019 18:12

Fucking hell, I pity your husband if you're this patronising to him. You sound like a,teacher telling off a naughty child.

@formerbabe
You are, of course, correct. OP should count her blessings. At least she's got a partner and a child and another baby on the way and nice food to eat and a sofa for her bone idle piss taking husband to sleep on all day.

There's consequences for such female ingratitude.

Thesearmsofmine · 25/12/2019 18:14

Is he poorly? Or is this his usual kind of behaviour? I would have woken him up repeatedly if necessary.

What on earth were you wrapping until 2am?! And I get that you are taking some meat to your mums but you could have done a normal roast for the 3 of you and then bunged some meat in the slow cooker to take to your mums tomorrow.

RedToothBrush · 25/12/2019 18:15

Dont martyr yourself into the 'perfect'Christmas, just do what works on the day.

The perfect Christmas is never the traditional full christmas dinner works, presents at a certain time, children delighted at the big present and a magically romantic rose tinted evening playing games civilly.

Its the off the hoof breaking the rules christmas dinner, presents when they happen, kids preferring the box you got the present delivered in anfd snoring on the sofa for half the afternoon, then cheating at monopoly in the evening.

Thing of christmas as the latter not what you see in the movies and you'll have a much better day.

Original poster
sadchristmas1 · 25/12/2019 18:16

I have always grown up with my mum going all out for Christmas lunch and I did suggest cutting it down to one (two tops) meat but dp said he wanted beef turkey and gammon so he would cook it all. I don’t think cooking multiple meats is any harder as they all just fit in the tray together (They weren’t huge joints) and cook for roughly the same amount of time so it’s not that part that pissed me off, it’s the fact that I put in all the effort and got nothing back, all I wanted was for them to actually eat it and for him to at least stay awake so I had someone to talk to

OP posts:
sonjadog · 25/12/2019 18:16

Is he sick? Why can't you just wake him up and tell him to get up and help you?

adaline · 25/12/2019 18:16

Why did you make so much work for yourself?

Your DD is two. She's not going to remember Christmas so there was no need to go to so much effort. A few token presents, whatever you fancied for dinner and that's all that's necessary. Why on earth would you stay up until 2am and cook a three-meat roast for three people?!

There were two of us this year and we had roast chicken with the trimmings. It took two hours and most of that time was spent sat watching Vicar of Dibley while the food cooked - in fact, aside from a dog walk, I haven't really left the sofa Grin

formerbabe · 25/12/2019 18:16

@ToEarlyForDecorations

My comment was in relation to your phrase 'little chat', nothing to do with the op....we have 'little chats' with misbehaving five year olds, not other adults.

adaline · 25/12/2019 18:17

X-post.

If he was asleep and refusing to help, I'd have just made myself something and left him to sleep. If he woke up and asked where his dinner was, then you could have directed him to the kitchen and had a nap yourself!

Original poster
sadchristmas1 · 25/12/2019 18:17

I was up wrapping presents and food prepping til late as it was my dds birthday on the 23rd, we had family over to see her etc so I had a LOT of tidying up and cleaning to do on top of my regular Christmas preparation. Also the fact that I haven’t had a moments peace to do my wrapping without her interfering and trying to take the presents

OP posts:
SarahNade · 25/12/2019 18:19

OP, is your mum unable to cook her own Christmas food? Why were you cooking Christmas food to take to her tomorrow? Especially when you're pregnant? Surely she wouldn't expect that of you.

2 year olds really don't eat much of anything at all, certainly not a lot of meat and all the trimmings. So you basically cooked a massive Christmas dinner with three (3) different meats, for two people. Your DP is a worry though, he's perhaps not used to drinking so much that it affects him more than others, so the best laid plans..... Regardless, you are pregnant with his child so he certainly should have made an effort to have a strong coffee and get up and do most of the cooking. He sounds extremely selfish.

Panicbuyer · 25/12/2019 18:19

You're making life hard for yourself ! How many presents were you wrapping to be still up at 2.30? 3.5 hrs to make dinner with 3 meats?
Just no.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 25/12/2019 18:19

It sounds like he's ill / coming down with something if he's constantly nodding off.........I can get like that before a virus hits.

It's too late now but Christmas dinner is just a.roast with pigs in blankets. Don't be afraid to cut corners, the whole point of Christmas is spending time together. The food is secondary.

SarahNade · 25/12/2019 18:20

@Daisy7654 She said DP. Not DH.

DogInATent · 25/12/2019 18:21

I have always grown up with my mum going all out for Christmas lunch

You're not his mother, and most importantly you're not your mother.

Have an honest conversation with your mother about how the pressure of xmas affected her. You may be surprised.

Have the turkey or beef on xmas day, have the gammon on boxing day. Split the trimmings across the two days as well. As soon as it was clear he wasn't helping, two of the meats should have remained in the fridge or been transferred to the freezer, for another time.

reetgood · 25/12/2019 18:22

We are learning that with small person, you just need to do everything earlier including prep! We also have a 2 year old.

I think what would have helped here is working with the context and letting things go. For example, we discovered our toddler has chickenpox three days ago. So, visits to family were out for various reasons but for other reasons we split our day meaning I was with toddler solo home alone. Was I making Christmas dinner for us? No I was not. Partner and I will have cheese and wine this evening. Toddler doesn’t really have a concept of Christmas and the only bit of Christmas dinner he’s attached to is Yule log!

Partner was being useless but either don’t tolerate it or accept it’s not happening. He’s not going to notice unless you communicate your needs.

Thesearmsofmine · 25/12/2019 18:22

A massive roast dinner isn’t appealing to most toddlers tbh. My youngest is 3 and ate some baked cheese and bread(our starter), a pig in blanket and a bit of parsnip! Oh and some chocolate gateau. He usually eats really well but it’s a bi much at Christmas.
As for your DH he said he was going to cook these things because he wanted them but he was asleep and wouldn’t get up so you could have just made a smaller meal for yourself and if/when he wakes he can cook what he wanted.

londongirl86 · 25/12/2019 18:23

Ah bless you. That is boring of your oh to sleep most the day away. You'd think he'd of been abit more merry. I'd of moaned about it and woke him up after an hour and expected him to be awake the rest of the day. X

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/12/2019 18:23

Oh come on
There was 3 of you, one of whom is a small toddler
Why on earth were you up until 2 and 3.5 hours on lunch? Ridiculous
I agree, Christmas is what you make it and you've made it too hard and too much work. There's only 3 of you.