Worst Christmas Day I have ever had

[sadchristmas1]

This is our first year DP and I are having our own Christmas at home, we have only been together for 5 years, have a 2yo and one on the way. We were both up til about 2am wrapping presents and preparing food etc. This morning dd woke up at 7.30, he brought her downstairs gave her breakfast and hasn’t left the sofa since. We opened our presents (he sat on the sofa the whole time while I handed them out and tidied up wrapping paper etc) then straight after he fell asleep (about 9.30am). Me and DD watched tv for a bit then she wanted to go back to bed (late night) so she went to sleep about 12 and I made a start on Christmas lunch. DP snoring on the sofa the whole time. Took me 3.5 hours to make lunch, 3 meats all the trimmings etc completely alone. Woke both of them up when it was ready, DD refused to eat, DP are 3 mouthfuls then went back to sleep on the sofa where he still is. I have spent my whole Christmas Day alone, now I’m sat in the dining room on my own drinking non alcoholic Prosecco while dd watches tv next to snoring dp. I feel like I’ve had the shittest Christmas Day, I worked hard for 0 appreciation. Anyone else feeling shit?

Three meats? For two adults and a toddler?

Adding to the chorus of "but why"? Me, DD 7 and DM here. Went to bed 10ish, shoved the last few pressies in gift bags as couldn't be arsed to wrap. Spent most of the morning eating chocs and watching TV. Did a turkey crown (which cooked itself) and a few veg and tatties.

Bollocks to 3.5 hours in the kitchen. I'm sorry your DH seems lazy but you are being a martyr. The 2 year old would have probably been happy with some pasta tbh.

Took me 3.5 hours to make lunch, 3 meats all the trimmings etc completely alone.

Change. The. Rules.

The only pressure at xmas is what we put upon ourselves or choose accept from others. Why on earth do three meats for one sitting for two adults and a toddler? Do your own thing at xmas and make it something you enjoy doing.

What a lazy DP! Make sure you tell him exactly how order he was when he eventually wakes up.

No offence OP but 3 people (1 of them very small), and you spent hours cooking and did 3 meats with full trimmings...more fool you.
You’re being a martyr!

Oh, and he's putting your daughter to bed and then you both will be having a little chat about today

Fucking hell, I pity your husband if you're this patronising to him. You sound like a,teacher telling off a naughty child.

jeeze, your pregnant with a toddler in tow. Your DH had the right idea!

It isnt out of character though, is it? Why do you expect him to be different just because it is christmas?

Why were you up until 2am wrapping presents?

Why did you cook 3 meats when there are only 2 adults and a toddler?

Sorry, you sound like you’ve gone massively overboard here. If YOU wanted the massive Christmas effort I don’t really blame your DH for keeping out of it and deciding he wants a relaxing Christmas. I wonder who enjoyed themselves the most today - is it really worth martyr-ing yourself, OP?

I’m feeling shit too! Partner left yesterday and I don’t think he will come back, on top of that my oven packed up not that anybody really gave a shit about eating when I managed to salvage something!! And I only have one bottle of wine in the fridge, older two go to their dads in the morning so just me and the baby. “Partner”/“ex partner” will probably text expecting to have him as well after all this pain!

Martyr alert!

Dyrne - Why were you up until 2am wrapping presents?

Personally I often ended up doing this when the kids were small as it was the only time available to construct larger toys (bikes, toy kitchen etc) when the kids were asleep. Nowhere to put them once built

Simplify it next year. Don't cook for your mum. Don't wrap stockings Wrap as you buy Cook your meat (one type) night before, and anything else that can be microwaved

Personally I often ended up doing this when the kids were small as it was the only time available to construct larger toys (bikes, toy kitchen etc) when the kids were asleep. Nowhere to put them once built

Fair enough once you have older children, but one 2 year old? Does that really require that much wrapping and effort? They won’t even remember or appreciate it at that age!!!

I’m absolutely exhausted, this pregnancy is killing my back and hips and I’ve been standing up all bloody day cooking and cleaning and tidying while he gets to sleep

Lightly splash his face with a bit of water and tell him!

My toddler are one spoonful of mash for Christmas dinner. He also cried when reluctantly opening presents and kept saying, "i just want to go to the park..."
A bit annoying after putting in so much effort. Grr. X

Have a good lie-in tomorrow, OP - your DP was well-rested today so can look after your DD.

You'll have plenty of leftovers so meals for the next few days will be straightforward.

With luck you'll now what you'll have the energy/capacity to do for another day of celebration so you'll never have such a disappointing day again.

Good luck with the rest of the season.

ate

Sorry op but you do sound like a martyr. You need to kick your dp’s sorry ass into touch if you expect to maintain any sense of sanity and self respect in the future of this relationship.

Next year just simplify it.
Me and my DD had a cook in the bag chicken. I put in a tray of prepared roasties, shoved them up to make room for pigs in blankets and then lobbed frozen Brussels and peas in a pan. Longest thing was cutting broccoli.
My dd ate about half but no drama as didn't take ages to prep and cook.

That said, make sure DH knows he's getting up tomorrow and looking after DD all morning. You're having a lie in.

So don’t do it again.

Don't do it again. TBH sounds like you did a lot of that yourself without being asked/told to.

Men are simple creatures. If you need help, you have to ask.

On a side note, bit odd you say you're 'only' been together 5 years. I think that's a long time! How come you've never spent christmas before together now?

Why did you do a huge christmas meal like that for you and your partner when you have a 2 year old and are pregnant?

I don't get it. It was totally overboard.

I think your expectations were way off the mark of what the reality was ever going to be. I don't think you can blame your partner for you doing that.

Plan ahead. With children you start Christmas in August and wrap as you go. That way you aren't panicking in December when you have 101 things on and you can go to bed early on Christmas Eve rather than wrapping until silly o'oclock.

Reign it in and be sensible at Christmas otherwise you are always going to fall flat on your face.

For that reason I think you are being unreasonable. Sorry.

Echoing the why? I'm pregnant and have a 3.5 yr old, ds was in bed and asleep by 8:30 last night. We wrapped his presents while watching a movie. We were in bed before 12. Ds up at 6, all downstairs 6:30 opening presents. Had us 3 plus 3 additional adults for dinner at 3pm. No advance prep but certainly didnt spend 3 hours in the kitchen sorting it all. Turkey crown was a 2.5 hour cook. Out for an hour to rest and the remainder of stuff went on while resting. Dont martyr yourself into the 'perfect'Christmas, just do what works on the day.

wake him up when he needed to start. Tried to wake him up but he wouldn’t

I'd have pulled him off the sofa by his foot or everyone would have starved.