Aibu to feel crap my husband and kids haven't got me anything for christmas

[thingamijig1]

I found out for definate today, I had suspected anyway, that my kids and my husband haven't bothered getting me anything for Christmas.
I feel really hurt. I've been trying to instil in the kids that Christmas is about giving and making the people you love smile. But my husband told me this morning they couldn't think what to get me for Christmas so he's just going to give me money 😒
The kids are only 7 and 5 so i am more miffed at my husband. Just seems crap I've put all this effort into making Christmas special and making them all smile and they couldn't give a toss about me 😔
Sorry will stop whining now.

Stop being so needy Stop being so unpleasant

I'd be unhappy about this, especially about the message it gives to the dc about your value in the family.

Tell your dh you are unhappy. He has time to either take the dc out to get you something or help them to make you something.

He could have taken them to Boots for goodness sake lazy arse! Tell him to get it into gear there is still time.

This is sad - and it is a little bit about the kids, my 7 year old has been talking unprompted for two months about what she wanted to buy me for Christmas (a puppy (can't have one because of the DCats but i'd love one) and some chocolate). I know shes picked out of couple of gifts with DH for her and her brother to give me - she's been so excited!

My DH is also being an equal dick today, had 2 upset DC (8&6) as they wanted to get me something so mum comes to take them out and suddenly he wanted to take them so goes with them. DS6 is currently upset as no one bothered to get me a card this year and he has just realised so wants to go back out. DH answers how was he supposed to know I am so angry at him I got, wrote and sent cards to his family sorted his kids cards for him as well as my own all while I’ll recovering from surgery

I'd be upset too. Hope you still have a lovely Christmas day nevertheless

i would keep husband's present. what a dick

I don’t have a DH it’s just me and dd. My birthday was a few days ago. She had been shopping with my mum and I got new pyjamas and a dressing gown. But she’d also wrapped (in lined paper) a pen that she had won in the school raffle and a note telling me how much she loves me. She was more excited about giving me the pen than the actual presents!

Honestly your DH is useless, but the dc are little, they need to learn that Xmas and birthdays are about being together as a family and doing nice things for each other. It might only be a picture they’ve drawn or a craft item they’ve made from school but they are old enough to think about gifts for you. You have every right to be be pissed off but use this as an opportunity after Xmas to gently guide them on being thoughtful and caring to others. At their age Xmas is very much about the presents they get and they do need to be told that the gifts they give are just as special as the ones they receive.

@MouseDL Next year he can sort presents and cards for his own family. Why are you doing everything?

Because if I don’t do it nothing gets done, next year I won’t be doing anything on his behalf I am sick of sorting everything.
I am currently laid on the sofa crying in pain between cooking dinner while he hides upstairs- lets hope he stays there till new year!

Part of me thinks I should leave it and make it perfectly obvious I have nothing tomorrow and how shit it feels. Sounds conniving, but they need to learn how much they have hurt my feelings.
I've told them all before.

^They? Why are you including your children in this?

Did you send a text yet? 'You have had 364 days to get me a present and take the dc to buy their Mummy something. '
What an absolute arse he is.
Even my ex who is a self centered narcissist managed to organize our dd in the young years.
Fingers tightly crossed for you OP x x

He couldn’t think what to get you? Did he ask?

It’s so thoughtless and just shows how much he doesn’t care. His present would be staying where it was.

I try to install in the kids that Christmas is about giving.
Well actually it’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus first and foremost
It’s natural to be hurt, but a 5 and 7 year old can’t go out and earn their own money then go shopping for Christmas gifts. Therefore I don’t know why the kids were even brought into it. If anything your DH is very unfair on them too. It would have been lovely for them if he’d have taken them shopping for a gift for mummy.

I buy my presents so i get what I wants.

My comment isn’t to say I don’t think your DH isn’t a tight wad though.
It’s alright saying “Men don’t have a clue, but Who’d turn their nose up at a box of chocolate perfume.

My husband was always the same, same old excuse, it’s for kids. I gave up buying for him as he was never pleased with what kids bought him but I’ve just had that thrown in my face! Yes it is but it is also nice to teach your kids that it’s good to show appreciation to others at this time. I’m now getting divorced and this was one of the factors his sheer disregard for my feelings and making me feel worthless! Not saying divorce as I had lots of offer factors😂

Bollocks that Christmas is about kids. It's a time to appreciate family and friends. Even as a small child I used to love watching people's faces as they unwrapped the present that I had chosen for them. When I was older, Dad used to delegate buying Mum's presents to me but there was always the trip to the jeweller's for him to buy our presents, as said before.

i dont think its about the gift or what it is.gifts show someones thinking of you.it could be a stamp with your fave flower on it for heavens sake! and it would just mean care and thought has gone into that person that day.
i think it bad not to.and i couldnt think of doing that to someone.leaving someone with no presents,if there has been no discussion that this is how it will work this year is horrid.

are men shit at this,dont have a clue,dont think like that because we keep saying this every fucking time they dont have to use there thought!?
is this how they got here because everyone keeps letting them off.i didnt no it was some condition which meant in the male genes it misses off thinking of others or present giving.
30 years later im still doing it for my dad and it pisses me off.

What a useless person he is. The Christmas lights have been up for weeks - how hard would it have been to just ask you what you wanted?

He brought something home from work. I am pleased as the kids are giddy running around looking for wrapping paper and scissors and yelling shhhhh at each other 😂
Will defo have a chat with him after Christmas though. As I've said before, it's not about the gift, it's the fact the kids should be learning about giving and they needed the help. He should of taken them to the shops.
Thanks for all the messages.
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas 🎄😊

That’s so lazy! It just feels like he doesn’t appreciate you and that’s not a nice feeling. We are really broke at the minute, the kids have done a present each for their father though and they include a jar of marmalade and his favourite Aldi coffee - hardly breaking even our bank. I know they (inc him) have all done something little for me too. And homemade is always the best...I still have a collage of flowers my eldest cut out of seed catalogues and put in a charity shop frame quarter of a century ago.

Talk to him.

When i was young it was all about children. And it was a magical time. Now with the entitled ME generation, adults are trying to hijak it, stamping their feet like big babies if they don’t get anything. It is a present for goodness sake, who cares? Why not get your pleasure watching your children open THEIR presents like most adults do? Plus, like I say, if you are having to pressure your partner into buying you something, what really is the point? I would not remotely appreciate a present given under duress Perhaps you are with the wrong partner and that’s the issue.

Ahh just saw your update, I’m glad. Bless the kids ssshh-ing lol. Happy Christmas.