Aibu to feel crap my husband and kids haven't got me anything for christmas

[thingamijig1]

I found out for definate today, I had suspected anyway, that my kids and my husband haven't bothered getting me anything for Christmas.
I feel really hurt. I've been trying to instil in the kids that Christmas is about giving and making the people you love smile. But my husband told me this morning they couldn't think what to get me for Christmas so he's just going to give me money 😒
The kids are only 7 and 5 so i am more miffed at my husband. Just seems crap I've put all this effort into making Christmas special and making them all smile and they couldn't give a toss about me 😔
Sorry will stop whining now.

Definitely don’t give him his present. He’s a selfish git.

I don’t care about presents from my DH but I like one from my DD(9). I found out yesterday that my DH haven’t taken her out to get one so I told him ‘I am expecting a Xmas present from DD it doesn’t have to be expensive but I will be upset if I don’t get one’. They went out today to get it. Yes it would have been better if I hadn’t had to ask but sometimes if you want something you need to say so.

I'm good with cash. I'd rather get cash than something I really don't want/can't use. That's why I'm a big believer in lists. So I go on Amazon and make a 'wish list' and DH is free to pick from it or think up something on his own. I'd rather have a gift from my list than a 'well thought out' gift that he may think I like, but I don't. Hint: don't buy me appliances unless I specifically ask for one! This caused a bit of 'newlywed tears' one Xmas.

DH and I discuss beforehand whether or not we're getting each other anything. This year he's getting a 'token' gift because he bought himself an extremely expensive piece of sporting equipment (think 4 figures and no it's not a bike). My list was a bit 'extravagant' this year.

You have to talk to your DH. Let him know calmly after Xmas that you were disappointed to receive nothing and that if the two of you are not going to exchange gifts (we didn't in the lean years) then it needs to be agreed to beforehand.

If he does give you cash, then use it to book yourself a weekend away. Or at the very least tickets to a show or concert and take a friend, not him. Leave him at home with the kids. He'll never make that mistake again!

Myself and Oh aren’t doing presents this year not even from the children for each other. We’ve just bought a new car and need to tighten the belt. Neither of us really need anything.

YANBU tell DH to go out right nor with the kids and find you something.

Why not message him and tell him he needs to go get you something today?

Are you still going to give him present(s) from you? It's been suggested a few times not to but you haven't commented on it.

Personally I wouldn't give him anything, what's good for the goose and all that.

I think generally men appear to have less thoughtfulness as to what women like, mine is the same. So through the year I make a Christmas List, it's at the back of the calendar, and every time I think 'Oh I would like one of....' it goes on there. .

On it this year are a range of a dozen things eg watch, a purse small enough to fit in my jeans pocket but that will also take cards, so there can be NO excuses

Similar situation op. They also opened the one surprise that I got from a friend as they were curious as to what it was. I was irrationally upset

Is it possible he is just pulling your leg?

If he surprises you tomorrow you might feel a bit of a tit for having a whinge today (and quite rightly so if you're correct).

Wait until tomorrow and if you've still got nothing then you have every right to tell him what a selfish twat he is.

I've never expected presents from my kids, I find it odd to do so. Even now as late teenagers in college and Uni, I wouldn't expect it although I know they got together to get me something and I feel very blessed.

Getting money from OH is not the most thought out present, but it is still one and in many ways, the best one that would make many getting tat jealous.

An idea for next year, my kids love going out and choosing me and husband random stuff, so we give them some penny's and get grandma to take them Tesco for a few hours. They all love it, and me and husband get lovely surprises from the kids. Sod your husband! My kids love giving their gifts to us, and know it's something they've chosen for us.

Your husband is a selfish, thoughtless prick. My husband sent our young, barely adult kids out to buy a birthday present for me, when he was in the hospice, dying. I was so touched and that even at that tine he wanted to show his love for me. There’s no fucking excuse for not getting your other half a gift, unless you have no money. We once made Christmas cards for each other because we could neither afford a gift OR card.

Your kids are little. This is nothing to do with them and is entirely your rubbish husband’s fault. So no long faces in front of the children tomorrow.

I can’t imagine such a thoughtless man though.

I'm not sure why people are telling op they do t do presents, they have a weekend away etc, it's irrelevant! The family do presents in this instance except the OPs DH is a lazy arse who hadn't bothered.

Sorry he's so lazy OL.

Ah that is really shit. For my 40th I got amazon vouchers, downloaded the day before. We had a joint account, he might as well have taken them money out of purse and given it to me.

‘Can’t think of what to buy’, how hard is it to walk round M&S and find a scarf, gloves, box of Chocolates?

Do yours like crafty stuff? Give them some paper and ask them to make you a secret Christmas card. They might be excited to give it you.

Others’ circumstances or preferences aren’t really relevant, it’s not about the specifics of what I do or you do (or don’t do). What is relevant is that it is not right for everyone else to get presents and one person (and let’s face it, the person that is likely to have done most, if not all, of the work and carried most, if not all, the mental load of making something lovely happen for the whole family, to have nothing to open, no token of love and appreciation that is comparable to what everyone else has. It’s teaching children that that person doesn’t count, that they don’t have wants or needs that are just as valid as everyone else’s.

for you, OP.

Argh sorry for my appalling punctuation there!

Your husband is a lazy, apathetic arse.

But your kids are so so young and don’t deserve a moment of your annoyance about this, I hope you know that?

All of you posting about how you like cash or don't expect gifts just shove it-this woman is upset by her asshole of a husband who couldn't take 90 seconds on Amazon to order a gift for her-whether you celebrate the holidays or not is entirely irrelevant-I'd destroy the gift for the husband before he got anything else from me. He has time on the toilet to sit and online shop if he's so damn busy

Xmas is about kids, stop being so needy. Just focus on your children enjoying their day and presents, it isn't all about you.

I think you should tell him today that you aren’t happy otherwise it will ruin your evening today and tomorrow for you as well. Nothing worse then sitting and dwelling on something! If you message him and tell him it’s not okay then he knows and could maybe fix it?

What is all this bullshit about working full time?
I’m guessing he can shop online even if your town doesn’t do late night opening etc.

And, does he have a hobby that takes hours every weekend?

Xmas is about kids, stop being so needy. Just focus on your children enjoying their day and presents, it isn't all about you

Currently none of it is about her. Are you the OPs husband?