Aibu to feel crap my husband and kids haven't got me anything for christmas

[thingamijig1]

I found out for definate today, I had suspected anyway, that my kids and my husband haven't bothered getting me anything for Christmas.
I feel really hurt. I've been trying to instil in the kids that Christmas is about giving and making the people you love smile. But my husband told me this morning they couldn't think what to get me for Christmas so he's just going to give me money 😒
The kids are only 7 and 5 so i am more miffed at my husband. Just seems crap I've put all this effort into making Christmas special and making them all smile and they couldn't give a toss about me 😔
Sorry will stop whining now.

Hm I am not really into presents from my OH, at this age children ned help and he should hav etaken them out to buy something or helped them make a gift. Just lazy really

I get why you’re upset (although I personally would prefer cold, hard cash).

Did your husband ask you for ideas? That would be the obvious thing to do if he were drawing a blank.

Presumably you’ve got him something he can open? can you take it back?

Have you got DH a wel thought out gift?

For me Christmas is for the kids.... I’m not hugely fussed if I get anything as it’s not my day.
However my birthday is all about me🙈😂 but in all seriousness myself and DH make an effort for our birthdays as it’s just about us. I would rather at Xmas it be spent on the kids.

That's my thinking. The lazy sod needed to help them and he's not bothered his bum. A home made something or anything would of been nice.

Personally I give DH and DSs help with what I'd like - mostly by dropping a URL on DH's whatsapp (usually a book)! However, as we're away this year we decided to have a no present rule. I think it's really about whether they are caring and loving rather than unwrapping a present or two. We've scaled back on "stuff" so I'm fine with it.

Don't give him his present, then. Use the same lazy excuse.

I wouldn't frame it in your mind as your kids haven't got you anything. Your husband should have got you a minimum of two presents and he's double not bothered. Arsehole.

Yes he has a well thought out present lovingly wrapped by the kids.
I'm not really into big presents either. Anything would be nice
Just think I will feel a bit crap when they all sitting opening presents and I've got sweet fa
Also he ment to be teaching the kids, about giving. And he isn't.

Your kids are too young. This is all about your husband.

Tell him your upset. The shops are still open. He still has time to remedy this.

But give him some ideas.

That is absolute crap OP. I’m sorry. My sister and I were fretting about whether our nephews would appreciate cash for Xmas but in the end thought it needed padding out with a little actual gift as well as the cash. Because we have thought about them and didn’t want to make it just a cash transaction. The idea of handing your wife some cash is just horrible. As you say, a painting the kids had done for you or some sweets they made together. It’s his time and effort that’s missing from your gift to be honest. I’d be very sad and disappointed.

Tell him to do it right now. Say you won’t have your kids being taught to take their mother for granted. Don’t let this slip.

Yeah that sucks and I would be upset too

Wow taking some money out the joint account, how generous of him!

DOnt give him any ideas. He has met the OP before. Presumably knows a few things about her over the course of their marriage and years raising children together. Has she been hidden behind a veil all this time, speaking only to ask him what time he’d like his tea? The only idea he needs is that so far he’s failed.

A couple of days after boxing day would be a good time to sit down with your husband and kids and lay it out for them.

Tell them that you do loads for them and in return you expect:-

A wrapped gift from husband at Christmas
A wrapped gift from kids at Christmas
Ditto birthday
A bunch of flowers on mothers day.

And that's its. Thats' all your asking for and your DH needs to bloody well buck his ideas up and provide that.

If you don't address it now it will just continue.

That’s really shit, and in caring and it shows a lack of respect towards you.

I would be having a talk with him about how uncaring it is and how selfish, explain how devalued you feel.

Send him out with the kids to get you something from them AND something from him. Nip this in the bud or your kids will grow up thinking you don't deserve gifts like daddy does.

My ex was like this as well, I’m not hard to buy for, it’s the thought that counts and the effort

Notsuchasmug I love this.
Thank you all. You are making me feel better.

I feel exactly the same. I have a toddler and newborn so I sorted their gifts (and 11 others) but he couldn’t get mine. He works full time and apparently doesn’t have the spare time I think he does. Buy yourself something lovely and have a day to yourself or with a friend to pick it.

Freddie neither am I that's why I am so pissed. A bloody box of chocolates or some smelly stuff would suffice. It's the laziness and lack of effort involved. I will be taking his credit card to the shops never mind him giving me cash. Knob head.

I would be, and I am, also on your behalf. I knew that DH hadn’t got me anything, and made an off the cuff comment about this a few days ago. So he has now got me what my mum got me for my birthday last month - a cheese subscription! I mean I like cheese, but not so much I need 2 boxes of 4 delivered a month, especially since DH has gone to the same company, so they are likely to be the same!

Yes, I have got DH a well thought out gift.
He also forgot my birthday last month.

I'm sorry OP, that's crap.

You shouldn't have to but I'd tell him I'm upset & send him & the kids out to buy something.

Your DC are old enough to make you a card or even a present surely? And old enough to realise that they perhaps ought to?

When DD was about 4 she presented me with some "flowers" that were twisted up tissue paper with some sparkly stickers on them.
I still have them 10 years later. Can't tell you what other presents I got that year.

it’s the laziness and lack of effort involved.

This