My feed

to access all these features


Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

831 replies

Nobhobs · 29/11/2019 11:49

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair Hmm I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be?? Hmm

OP posts:
Notodontidae · 29/11/2019 12:19

Well i've heard of post natal depression, I didn't realise is also caused people to end up like the fruit cake they have at Christmas. It seems like they want their new arrival to be centre of attention, so I agree with many posters on here, stay at home this Christmas, next year take your high chair and place it alongside theirs. YANBU

OxfordCat · 29/11/2019 12:20

Ridiculous! Agree with all that has been said. Do NOT let your DH cave on this OP or it will lead of a lifetime of it.

What next?!! Your 4 year old DS forced to continue wearing nappies whenever he visits Granny's house, just so his baby cousin doesn't feel left out? Your 11 year old DS not allowed to talk about secondary school in case his cousin feels left out? Your 18 year old DS not allowed wine at the table until his cousin turns 18?


ReturnofSaturn · 29/11/2019 12:20

Absolutely stark raving bonkers.

I wouldn't pander to this. Just take the highchair.

Surfskatefamily · 29/11/2019 12:20

Mil can try to enjoy xmas dinner with ds on her she wont ban the high chair next time 😁

FrancisCrawford · 29/11/2019 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OverthinkingThis · 29/11/2019 12:21

Oh yes, meant to add:

They are being weird and PFB, but as you have been specifically asked not to bring the high chair I would leave it at home to avoid bad feeling. You and DH can take turns with DS on your lap

Like fuck would I agree to eat my Christmas dinner with a weaning age old on my lap when I could have put them in a high chair.

Take the high chair, leave it in the car initially and have a last ditch go at trying to talk sense into everybody when you arrive.

KatharinaRosalie · 29/11/2019 12:21

MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out

I am really trying to figure out how one gets from 'I am brigning a highchair for my DS' to 'I want to leave another baby out'

Reastie · 29/11/2019 12:22

Yanbu. You can’t put an 8 week old in a high chair ffs! How bizarre. Take the high chair. Baby will be a total nightmare on your lap.

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 29/11/2019 12:22

Fuck em. Take the highchair or don't go at all. Don't pander to that bollocks.

Londonmummy66 · 29/11/2019 12:22

DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama.

Point out to DH that there will be drama one way or another - either from MIL and SIL when he brings the highchair, from MIL when you say no high chair not going, or from DS when not put in high chair which will be for DH to deal with as he will be having DS on his lap all of lunch and he is not giving him to you to hold at any point over lunch time......

Figgygal · 29/11/2019 12:22

Crackers both of them

Your child is eating therefore needs to be fed the most effective way of that is in the high chair can you get out of going somehow it's just ridiculous

Chlosavxox · 29/11/2019 12:23

I actually can't believe how ridiculous that is! Like an 8 week baby would know any difference anyway Confused if your baby is old enough to sit in a highchair then do it!

Clangus00 · 29/11/2019 12:23

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!
Stay at home & visit on Boxing Day.

strawberry2017 · 29/11/2019 12:24

I'd be making new Xmas plans- that's utterly ridiculous to expect a baby who needs to sit in a high chair to change to accommodate an 8 week old who will sleep most the day.

Nojustyou · 29/11/2019 12:26

I don't think I would bother going at all!

But advice above are good: take high chair
you can also leave in car to start and leave MIL to look after child. She won't.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 29/11/2019 12:26

Why is it only your DS who has to forego his age-appropriate seating requirements in order not to upset an 8-week-old baby (who really will not know or care whatsoever)?

In the spirit of fairness, nobody should have any kind of chair to sit on as to do so would just be an obvious aggressive attempt to upset, shame, exclude and scar for life a tiny little baby.

Take away every chair in advance and then all people present must spend the day lying on their backs on the floor, crying and dribbling or taking it in strict turns to be held and cradled by another person present (that'll be interesting when it's the 8wo's turn to do the cradling). Needless to say, there will be absolutely no alcohol allowed. It's the only fair way....

Whatever next: nobody to be seen using a comb or hairbrush because that excludes poor bald Grandad? None of the men allowed to stand for a wee when they go to the toilet as that excludes the women? Nobody allowed to stand taller than the shortest person there, constantly crouching right down as necessary (which will be very uncomfortable if not impossible for most considering one person there is only 8 weeks old)? Nobody to take any prescribed medication as that excludes the healthy people who don't need/have any?

This isn't just ridiculous, it's controlling. Give in to it now and it will become your life, as it sounds like it already is for your DH. By denying your DS what he needs at his stage of life, they are actively deciding to exclude HIM.

obsalon · 29/11/2019 12:27

This can't be real. Surely no one is this much of a fruitcake?!

gumdrop2 · 29/11/2019 12:27

Merry Christmas OP if this is how they behave I reckon this will be the last Christmas dinner you have round there so enjoy Grin

Notodontidae · 29/11/2019 12:28

@BertieBotts. Your post on page 1 was hilarious, just imagine what excitement not bringing the highchair will bring to the festive gathering.
to hell with my post, go without the the Highchair.

Wixi · 29/11/2019 12:28

So when is he supposed to eat his lunch? Why not with the family as that is what you will be expecting when he gets older? How bizarre!

5zeds · 29/11/2019 12:28

I think you just text back “so ds isn’t invited to Christmas dinner, but we are??? Shock

Bitofeverything · 29/11/2019 12:28

Take high chair and leave in car. Say fine to no high chair, but you’re not holding him because you want to enjoy dinner. After ten mins of squawking squirming baby I’m pretty sure they’ll be delighted when you point out you’ve brought high chair.

eurochick · 29/11/2019 12:28

That's batshit. Ask who will be holding your son for Xmas dinner and getting covered in gravy and half chewed bits of Brussels sprout as it certainly won't be the parents who wanted to put him in a high chair. Stick to it on the day. Also, stick the high chair in the car for when they get bored of holding a wriggle weaning baby and want to eat their dinner. Look at mil and sil meanfully while this plays out. What twats.

LittleMissTeacup · 29/11/2019 12:29

This is ridiculous.
But if you feel like you want to keep the peace and go, I’d suggest saying to DH, “ok, but since I want the high chair and you want your DM happy, you hold DS throughout the whole of the dinner as a compromise.”
Not sure what your DH is like, but compromises that impose on my DP when he’s caught between what I think and what his family think soon get him to rethink.

Sssneks · 29/11/2019 12:29

This is gloriously insane but also, on a more serious note, sets quite a worrying precedent for how your MIL is likely to treat her grandchildren going forward. It looks like the favouritism and unreasonable behaviour is starting early.

I think you need to nip this in the bud early and as a 'zero tolerance' united front. If your DS is excluded from the table then none of you are going.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.