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Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

831 replies

Nobhobs · 29/11/2019 11:49

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair Hmm I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be?? Hmm

OP posts:
PizzaExpressWoking · 29/11/2019 11:56

Nope, YANBU. This is insane.

The other baby will be feeding or napping 90% of the time anyway. If they want him at the table then they can put him on a lap or in a sling.

Nobody is trying to exclude the other baby. It's your PIL who are trying to exclude your DS.

I know it sounds petty, but this is something I would genuinely consider staying at home for. Or if your DH is so keen to leave the highchair at home, then he can be in charge of entertaining your DS during Christmas lunch.

BertieBotts · 29/11/2019 11:56

Maybe you could buy SIL a high chair for Christmas that has a recline function "so DC can be involved". :o

bluebell94 · 29/11/2019 11:56

Good grief YANBU, that's just weird

HoneysuckIejasmine · 29/11/2019 11:57

Take the high chair or stay at home. FFS the insanity.

billybagpuss · 29/11/2019 11:57

What are they expecting your ds to do? He’s going to be too big to sit on your lap, too fractious if he’s on the floor

KnightandDay · 29/11/2019 11:57

That's just crazy! I agree with just bring the high chair anyway. Crazy, crazy people!!

Celebelly · 29/11/2019 11:58

That is the craziest thing I've heard all week.

BertieBotts · 29/11/2019 11:58

I've had both BTW - a just-started-weaning baby at Christmas dinner and an 8 week old. Different years, obv.

The just started weaning baby sat on various laps (we couldn't fit in the highchair as we had travelled) and didn't really taste anything as he was a bit overwhelmed.

The 8 week old lay on a rug staring at the light fitting.

edwinbear · 29/11/2019 11:58

I'd just tell them you'll be staying at home then. That is absolutely bonkers - the 8 week old will be asleep most of the time anyway. Or you could plonk the 8 week old in its moses basket as a table centrepiece Grin

littlecabbage · 29/11/2019 11:58

I think this is a potential turning point in the history of your DH/in-laws interactions. If you let this slide, and let your DH nt support you when you are clearly in the right, it will set a precedent.

Give the firm instruction that you are bringing the high chair or not coming at all. Their choice. Do not give in or this will continue in the future. Do not engage further with the argument. Just reiterate the options ad nauseum.

Hoppinggreen · 29/11/2019 11:59

Oh God, it’s started!
Be aware OP, this is your life any do anything if it’s going to leave out the gold child’s baby. Our DD is 4 years older than sils dc and MIL used to get very sniffy if we let her do anything that her cousins couldn’t (despite the fact that her little brother couldn’t as well). We were expected to work around the (frankly ridiculous PFB/even more PSB) rules and routines that neurotic sil imposes on her dc to the extent that MIL threw a tantrum on holiday becuse we had hired a pedalo and dnephew was scared of the sea so none of us should go. He was onjy scared because sil kept telling him how dangerous it was.
We don’t go on holiday with them anymore and are very LC after we invited mil out for lunch and she wouldn’t come because the cousins couldn’t and if they found out we had gone without them they wouid be upset
Aaaannnnd breathe!
Sorry OP,I know this isn’t about me but I do know what you are facing and you will never ever be able to win

Cakeandcustard123 · 29/11/2019 12:00

Can you ask where they suggest your son eats his lunch in that case if you can't bring the high chair?

iswhois · 29/11/2019 12:00

Let your DS run round the dining table causing havoc then.

What is wrong with them? Have you had this kind of issue before??

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 29/11/2019 12:00

How far does this extend? If either of you have a second child, will none of the children be permitted a Christmas dinner? What if it's a large age gap?

DeathStare · 29/11/2019 12:01

This is ridiculous. They are different children, of different ages, with different needs. Your DS needs to be in a highchair, hers doesn't. This isn't about leaving anyone out.

I think you need to point that out to them as calmly as possible, and let them know that you will be bringing his highchair.

If not where does this end? Will he be forced to have a nap when he no longer needs one because otherwise his younger cousin will be left out while they have a nap?

Celebelly · 29/11/2019 12:01

And absolutely take the highchair. If you don't, it will set the tone for a lifetime of this nonsense. The best way to deal with it is to nip it in the bud early.

Wubbawubba · 29/11/2019 12:01

Your in-laws sound nuttier than a vegan roast.

Stay at home in your PJs and send them lots of pics of DS sitting nice in his high chair with his Xmas dinner. Wink

Herocomplex · 29/11/2019 12:01

That’s what I thought @BertieBotts. Or the DH at least for not sorting it out.

I think it’s going to be an interesting lunch.

Saltnpepper5 · 29/11/2019 12:01

This is crazy!
I'd take the high chair and say my son needs to eat his dinner and he needs the high chair or stay at home.
I'd much rather stay at home tbh this is what I and DP are doing now we have DS.

Tonz · 29/11/2019 12:03

Oh my fecking God!!! I think me,my baby and my high chair would be having Xmas elsewhere

RogueV · 29/11/2019 12:03

What the fuck.

Flipping ridiculous

DeathStare · 29/11/2019 12:03

Does anyone remember the thread about the oldest grandchild - who was by now an adult - who was being made to sit on the "children's table" at Christmas with her much younger cousins, even though there were other adults of a similar age to her sitting on the adults' table?

This is what pandering to this will lead to!

user1471592953 · 29/11/2019 12:04

Your MIL is utterly ridiculous.

I would also be wrapping the highchair in tinsel and making sure it is the first thing you put in place when you get out of the car.

Point out that the eight week old can be held in someone’s arms so he or she will be in the photos anyway.

Aposterhasnoname · 29/11/2019 12:04

Congratulations your ILs are an early front runner for most batshit Christmas behaviour 2019

MrsGarland · 29/11/2019 12:04

I would stay at home. Honestly. You'll feel so much happier for it

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