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Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

831 replies

Nobhobs · 29/11/2019 11:49

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair Hmm I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be?? Hmm

OP posts:
Snazzygoldfish · 29/11/2019 11:50

YANBU that's nuts!

AlphaLemon · 29/11/2019 11:51

WTH. How bizarre! That is so strange!

Wakingupnow · 29/11/2019 11:51

Stay at home and let them get on with it. They're batshit

Waterandlemonjuice · 29/11/2019 11:52

They are Insane! Get your dh to speak to his mother.

isitpossibleto · 29/11/2019 11:52

Your MIL and SIL are bonkers.

reginafelangee · 29/11/2019 11:52

Wow that is beyond crazy. Crikey I don't even know where you start with this one.

And your MIL is well out of order with her comments to your SIL about you trying to leave her child out of it.

Good luck.

Finfintytint · 29/11/2019 11:52

I’d stay at home. Couldn’t put up with that nonsense.

Mrsjayy · 29/11/2019 11:52

I don't know what to say that is crackers (gettit) get your husband to deal with it and take the high chair anyway

Leeds2 · 29/11/2019 11:53

That is ridiculous!

I would tell them we were staying at home and having Christmas by ourselves.

BlackSwanGreen · 29/11/2019 11:53

They are being weird and PFB, but as you have been specifically asked not to bring the high chair I would leave it at home to avoid bad feeling. You and DH can take turns with DS on your lap.

Disfordarkchocolate · 29/11/2019 11:54

Take the high chair. Your in-laws have now given you fair warning they are nuts and that SIL must not be annoyed. Oh, and that you MIL interferes. Good luck.

KatharinaRosalie · 29/11/2019 11:54

They are all mad.
And if you go along with this, that's what the rst of the relationship with them will be like. Your baby can't do X, because other baby can't do it yet.
Bring the chair and just laugh and say that of course they were kidding, ha ha, soo hilarious!

SunshineAngel · 29/11/2019 11:54

This sounds ridiculous, and takes me back to one meal at my auntie's house, where they had a children's table and an adult's table. I was 14 and made to sit at the children's table - with my cousins who were all 5 and younger. It was because she didn't want them to be left out, but it was just awful for me and I hated every second of it.

I'd take the high chair, or just say you're not going unless you can. The 8 week old will remember literally nothing, whereas your child may be distressed if not with you.

Spied · 29/11/2019 11:54

Take the highchair.
It's be the first thing I put in the car after the fiasco they've caused.
Put tinsel on it and I'd be sitting DC in it no matter what!!

ostritch · 29/11/2019 11:54

That's so batshit it's almost funny. What do they think your child is going to do while you're all sat at the table, just crawl around in the floor while you chuck him nibbles like a dog?!

They have a babe in arms - so the baby is either in arms during photos, being held up or (more likely anyway) will be napping. Are they planning to wake their baby if it's sleeping at dinner time just so it's in the photos (unwise!)?

Honestly I'd either say firmly that you are bringing the high chair or you aren't coming. What loons.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 29/11/2019 11:54

This is madness. Of course an 8 week old can’t do what a weaning age baby can.

The baby can be in the Christmas dinner photos, it’s mum or dad will just have to hold it.

I’d respond nothing now. I’d take the high chair Christmas Day and just get it at dinner time. Put my child in it to eat his dinner. If they say anything I’d say well my child has to eat so 🤷🏻‍♀️

LetThemEatDrama · 29/11/2019 11:54

They're being ridiculous, surely by that logic you should all be on the floor with the baby else you're leaving it out?? I'd definitely go with the highchair, the 8wk old can easily be held on a lap for photos! Knowing how unpredictable babies are around meal times it'll probably be being passed between adults as the meal gets eaten anyway so then your dc would be the one 'left out' if they were on the floor.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 29/11/2019 11:55

I think I'd get DH to talk to his mother and explain that your baby is at the stage where he needs a highchair; it's no reflection on the other baby, and that by not accommodating the highchair, it's coming across that they don't want you to attend. Hopefully she'll see reason...

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 29/11/2019 11:55

They’re being ridiculous. If he’s weaning it’ll be good for him to sit at the table, have some food mash it in to the tray/table & you’ll (you & your Dh) will actually be able to eat the meal rather than having to get up & down if he starts crying.

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 29/11/2019 11:55

Say no. This is ridiculous. Have a nice Christmas at home.

BogStandardMe · 29/11/2019 11:55

This really made me chuckle, sorry OP! That is the nuttiest thing I've read in a while! It's amazing how some people think isn't it! Yanbu! I have no advice though!

FredaFrogspawn · 29/11/2019 11:55

This could be the tip of a very stupid iceberg. I can imagine in the future your dc not being allowed to bring scooter to the park with them because the younger dgc can’t ride one yet... etc.

BertieBotts · 29/11/2019 11:55


OK, don't bring the highchair, and if DS doesn't nap, plonk him on MIL's lap, say "Oh he wants Grandma" and enjoy your meal while DS causes havoc reaching for MIL's knife, knocking over her wine glass and eating half her stuffing.

You can then say "Oh what a shame we didn't bring the highchair, that would have been so useful"

CmdrCressidaDuck · 29/11/2019 11:55

That is absolutely bonkers insane. Is your DS to only drink milk that day as otherwise the newborn will be "left out" of eating the Christmas dinner?

newmumwithquestions · 29/11/2019 11:55



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