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Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

831 replies

Nobhobs · 29/11/2019 11:49

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair Hmm I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be?? Hmm

OP posts:
JonSlow · 29/11/2019 12:04

It’s DH’s problem to solve. Either the high chair goes with you, or you all don’t go.

As a PP eloquently put - make it DMILs decision regarding that. So she can either choose the high chair or you not coming. When she accuses you of ruining Xmas, you can revert her back to her decision

Yesmate · 29/11/2019 12:04

Your in laws sound nuts! Your baby needs a high chair, the 8 week old does not. I don’t understand why they are making it a thing!!
If you let this slide they will always walk over you and interfere

LongLiveThePenis · 29/11/2019 12:05

Take the high chair, any problems then let your son down during dinner and give him a felt tip pen. Grin

MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 29/11/2019 12:05

Thats totally bonkers, if you can't take the chair then don't go.

Bunney2020 · 29/11/2019 12:05

Don't take the high chair. But do say that since you know DS will be an absolute nightmare during mealtime MIL is the only person who will be looking after him, and you and DH will be hands off for the time it takes to eat. Tell her not to dress her best as he likes to fling food around / mush food, all the messy stuff that weaning babies like to do. And since there will be no highchair all of this will be going on the table / floor / carpets / other baby.

But seriously yes this is absolutely ridiculous, your husband needs a backbone and to tell his family either high chair or not coming. I'd report with some of the good points of PPs
Is your DS to only drink milk that day as otherwise the newborn will be "left out" of eating the Christmas dinner?
It's your PIL who are trying to exclude your DS.
What do they think your child is going to do while you're all sat at the table, just crawl around in the floor while you chuck him nibbles like a dog?!

Winterdaysarehere · 29/11/2019 12:05

I would suggest this is just the beginning.
Likely foot bindingwill be insisted upon to prevent your dc walking before sil's for example..
Stay home is my advice..

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 29/11/2019 12:05

Sounds batshit. I’d stay away and send the PA message that as it sounds like they think your DC will spoil their Christmas, you’ll be eating at home.

I’d also fully expect DH to be with me and for him to tell them.

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 29/11/2019 12:06

I'd be like ok that's fine, when hes squashing his food into the carpet thats on you to sort, and when hes kicking off when I'm in eating my xmas dinner that's also for you to sort since both issues wouldn't have happened if I had the high chair!

Bunney2020 · 29/11/2019 12:06

Respond not report.

fernandoanddenise · 29/11/2019 12:06

“ We’d like DS to join us for Christmas if that’s an issue for you, we are happy to stay at home and celebrate with him there. Merry Christmas in-laws! “

Yummymummy2020 · 29/11/2019 12:06

This is the most odd rationale I have ever heard😂😂😂 so your baby has to be treated like a newborn effectively in case the newborn gets left out? You are beyond reasonable to think this is ridiculous behaviour why should your baby be left out of the table? So silly and I wouldn’t humor that at all, your dh shouldn’t either though I know it’s easier to keep the peace sometimes. I agree the younger baby can be held up in the photos while yours is in a high chair. I just can’t believe people are this unreasonable😂😂😂

FenellaMaxwell · 29/11/2019 12:06

Nip this in the bud now or it’s going to be the tip of a very drawn out iceberg over every single milestone they meet at different times.

Fatted · 29/11/2019 12:06

But where is your DC meant to eat their dinner?! Where does your DC go while you eat your dinner?! I really don't understand what you are meant to do if you don't bring it?!

I guess your other option is to tell the in laws that it's OK, your DC can sit in a big seat with some cushions to bolster them up. Grin

namechangetheworld · 29/11/2019 12:07

Your MIL is hilariously bonkers. Take the bloody highchair.

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 29/11/2019 12:07

Or you could plonk the 8 week old in its moses basket as a table centrepiece

Symbolic of baby Jesus of course, how fitting! Grin

They are being utterly bonkers. DP needs to stand up to his family on this, or the precedent it sets will be awful. He's

WhoAteMyNuts · 29/11/2019 12:07

I find that calling people out on their behaviour is the best all round.

Tell them it is normal for a child to sit in a high chair. Just as it's normal for a baby not to be in one. Babies can be held in arms for photos. Therefore anyone would think it was because your child was simply older but surely it can't be jealousy over biological ages so exactly was is the problem MIL?

Then stay at home anyway Grin

Haworthia · 29/11/2019 12:08

Fuck me Hmm

It there some sort of favouritism going on? I.e. younger grandchild can’t possibly be “left out” of sitting in a high chair, but that means ignoring the needs of the older grandchild, who would be better off in a high chair. So how come the younger baby trumps the older baby?

SunshineCake · 29/11/2019 12:08

I could tell your dh he needs to be siding with his son not his mother. Tell him you expect him to ring his mother and ask if she is serious about not bringing the high chair. If she says yes then he says very firmly that you will not be joining them for Christmas.

Jaxhog · 29/11/2019 12:08

The 8 week old lay on a rug staring at the light fitting.

If you go along with this, you'll be forever playing catchup. Your DS won't be allowed to toddle because SiL's babe isn't walking yet etc. The time to treat them as the same age, with the same needs, is when they're 10+ (or even 20).

minipie · 29/11/2019 12:09

Totally nuts obviously.
I think I’d offer to lend SIL and BIL a sling (if you have one) so they can have their LO at the table too.
Then as problem is solved you can bring the highchair.

I presume the 8 week old is your DH’s sister’s baby? I wonder if this is the start of golden grandchild syndrome - hope not for your sake.

Butterymuffin · 29/11/2019 12:09

What the fuck??

KatharinaRosalie · 29/11/2019 12:09

DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama.

Just a wild guess - the other son is the Golden Child and your DH is the one who will bow down and let everybody else have their way?

Normandy144 · 29/11/2019 12:09

Bloody hell, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. There's a world of difference between a newborn and a baby at weaning stage. Fuck me! Will your child never be able to have a high chair in the presence of his cousin who clearly has major FOMO issues at 8 weeks old! Ha ha.
I mean this is literally the silliest thing i have heard.
I wouldn't flounce off over this. Just attend the dinner as needed and maybe have a high chair as back up if needed. Otherwise just have DS on your lap if only to demonstrate how bloody ridiculous they are being. Better still, get MIL to hold her grandchild so you can eat... You know because it's hard to eat with a child on your lap. Goodness, if only there was a simple solution to it?

Whiskers14 · 29/11/2019 12:09

You've just won the prize for the best 'my in-laws are crazy' thread! I've never heard anything so ridiculous. Take the high chair or you and your DH will have a miserable Xmas meal playing pass-the-toddler.

thecatsthecats · 29/11/2019 12:10

What's amazing is that the MIL apparently raised two children and thinks that this is a normal approach.

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