Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

[Kingk1]

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!! If they feel strongly about the other child been left out well then they can bring their high chair. I would text I'm not asking I'm bring the chair for my son if u don't like it then we won't come. It sounds like DH parents are playing u both off each other. I think "DH parents" do not want kids / high chair at the table.

[Imverynewhere]

I just shared this on a WhatsApp group of mum friends- genius response from one of my friends don’t take the high chair but do take a folding booster seat (like the Chico Pocket)- if MIL puts up a fuss just point out it’s not a high chair!

[MsMarple]

They are insane! I'd stay at home.

But in case you don't feel like going nuclear, suggest putting the 8 week old in one of those bouncy baby chairs in the middle of the table, so they can both be there. Or perhaps on a table drawn up alongside if you think he might be at risk of falling sprouts.

Alternatively, you and DH both have your dinner on the floor with your baby. Take a festive picnic rug just to annoy them!

[BackforGood]

Do you know that Mumsnet have screenshot your post and shared it on Facebook?

I never knew they did this? I would be horrified. Do they ask the OP for permission?

I didn't know they did this either
Didn't even know MN was on FB, let alone sharing all and sundry on there

[Isthisit22]

Good decision OP. The in laws have already created such a bad atmosphere that Christmas Dinner would have been unpleasant/ a disaster. Stick to your guns and go to your parents.

[Frouby]

It's not the SIL, it's the MIL.

MIL wants both her sons and her dils present for Christmas day. She wants a naice meal, fancy table and lovely photos. 3 hours and a 4 course meal. She wants the babies there cos she's granny and the photos will look nice. But she doesn't want the babies actually at the meal, she wants them ideally sleeping through it, or popped on the floor when the starter comes out, and then picked up again after the cheeseboard.

Call your SIL and ask what her plans are for her baby while the adults are eating. Hope she's breastfeeding, nice 8 week growth spurt and sil sat with bfing through the entire meal will likely push mil over the edge.

I'd definitely go OP, just so you never have to endure this shit again. Your baby won't remember it, but you will and can remind dh if it every November when Christmas plans come up.

In fact if you are bfing OP, you should definetly tag team with sil and make sure every photo has a bfing dil in it 😁.b

[samidolls]

That’s mental, you can’t compare babies
Months apparent in development, how about this as a suggestion. A bouncy chair for the 8 week old.

When my ds was little and we went for dinner at the in-laws we used to put him in a bouncy chair on the table so he could watch as he had serious FOMO(still does intact). If there’s enough space could they do that?

[RockinHippy]

Crikey, that's nuts.

I'd be taking that as my queue to have a nice stress free Xmas at home with my own family. No one needs that much hard work

[RockinHippy]

Oops, just seen your update. Even better result. Enjoy 😊

[Nanakin]

When my two Grandsons were babies my daughter would invite us to stay for Christmas and for the first couple of years she preferred to have 'Christmas dinner' in the evening when they were in bed. Grandad would cook the meal and we would clear up so the exhausted parents could collapse in a heap. Lunchtime on Christmas Day was a glorious mixture of nibbles to suit all ages with crackers fun and a lot of mess. I think parents in law are lucky to be given the opportunity to enjoy the next generation! PS now they have a little cousin and they adore each other and meals are a riot.......

[Pixie2015]

I would be staying at home too !

[MerchantOfVenom]

How has MIL taken the news that you won't be there?!

[BlueSuffragette]

Good call OP going to your parents.
Both babies are at different stages of their development. MIL sounds nuts.

[TakeMe2Insanity]

Beyond bonkers!

Just say if he is on the floor he is likely to pull the tablecloth so better in a high chair. Alternative radical idea don’t take photos at the table!

[Tinkerbell19]

They are being ridiculous! If I was you I wouldn't be going, and I'd be asking Santa for new in laws for Christmas!

[OopsOhNoZHM]

I’d be tempted to take the high chair but leave it in the car until the opportune moment, ie. when your bub is wreaking havoc around the house and having a tantrum because he’s not been involved, and your MIL in on the verge of a breakdown. Cue ‘that’s what you get’ smugness and fetch the highchair in.
But I’m bitter and petty 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[Monisiek75]

Ask your MIL and SIL if they are going to look after your child and entertain the child during the dinner??
Can’t the smaller child just be at the baby recliner close to the table?

[Weenurse]

I am also interested in how MIL has taken the news?

[Travellinglass]

Good decision OP - can’t wait to hear what the MIL said about the new plans.

I presume there will be no photos now taken on Christmas Day with DS,DDIL and DGS all missing

[Wanttomakemincepies]

Two options

1. Sit baby on the table for dinner. Let him poke all the food he can reach.
   
2. Take high chair and tell MIL she needs to get a stokke Tripp trapp with newborn set for other baby.
   Think MIL on glue.

[Sandii]

This is the weakest excuse for an argument l ever heard 🤪 they are batshit ....why wouldn’t they want your child at the table ? And at 8 weeks , the other baby is practically a foetus !

[CallmeCallamity]

Not RTFT but this has now made it to the newspapers, OP

[incognitomum]

I'm actually open mouthed reading that

Off their fucking rockers!

[Irishgene]

Stay at home. Job done.

[incognitomum]

Read update glad to hear it.