My feed

to access all these features


Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

831 replies

Nobhobs · 29/11/2019 11:49

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair Hmm I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be?? Hmm

OP posts:
topcee · 30/11/2019 19:00

your mil should be thankful to be able to share Christmas dinner with you. In the 7 years since they married my DIL has spent every Christmas dinner with her parents and we get to see son for a brief time around tea time. It will be the same this year so we will get to share GD first Christmas when they turn up (luckily they do not have far to come or I guess we wouldn't see them at all!)
Give in over the high chair it really isn't worth the hassle and take it in turns to have your child on your lap the 8 week old will probably be asleep anyway or being held.

Jellyrunner · 30/11/2019 19:00

Right decision, totally mad MIL. Your child will learn to eat by sitting and eating meals with family. Glad to hear you are going to your parents.

Esspee · 30/11/2019 19:02

Great decision OP. I hope you have a wonderful time with your parents.

Frenchw1fe · 30/11/2019 19:15

@topcee. Whilst I feel for you this is down to your son as well. My ds would never let our dil behave so unfairly.

nicky7654 · 30/11/2019 19:25

So where do they expect your baby to eat???

Patapouf · 30/11/2019 19:28

Fuck that, I'd stay at home if I were you.

If he's sitting and eating solids it's bizarre not to let him sit at the table.

1HappyTraveller · 30/11/2019 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1HappyTraveller · 30/11/2019 19:38

YANBU your in laws are being ridiculous and need to get a grip. MIL sounds like a shit stirrer. Tell them you’re bringing the high chair, if they don’t like it maybe just have Christmas dinner elsewhere. Your ‘D’H could probably do with standing up to his ‘D’M too. It’s a high-chair FFS. Your family Christmas too, you shouldn’t have to be made to feel awkward or uncomfortable because mum of 8 week old has issues and MIL is bat-shit crazy.

ItsAlmostXmas · 30/11/2019 19:41

“ We’d like DS to join us for Christmas if that’s an issue for you, we are happy to stay at home and celebrate with him there. Merry Christmas in-laws! “
What @fernandoanddenise said above

The children are different ages so of course they will be treated a little differently.

Casperroonie · 30/11/2019 19:48

Your baby won't remember but their 1st Christmas is so special, I would have been absolutely gutted not to have my baby sitting with us. ☹️☹️ I would prefer to stay at home. Good luck.

FraglesRock · 30/11/2019 19:54

Fuck the sun also

Good call, I don't believe your baby will be treated fairly all day.
Can you imagine he's on the floor with a tiny baby and the baby cries!

strawberry2017 · 30/11/2019 19:54

I am so glad you are going to your parents instead, a nice relaxing normal Xmas is what you need. X

1HappyTraveller · 30/11/2019 19:58

Saw your update. Have a great time with your parents. Don’t forget to send MIL a photo of your DS sat happily at his high chair enjoying Christmas Day with EVERYONE else

comedycentral · 30/11/2019 20:01

Do you know that Mumsnet have screenshot your post and shared it on Facebook?

Whowantstogotothepark · 30/11/2019 20:06

Do you know that Mumsnet have screenshot your post and shared it on Facebook?

I never knew they did this? I would be horrified. Do they ask the OP for permission?

Celestine70 · 30/11/2019 20:12

I would stay at home if they persist with this.

GinandGingerBeer · 30/11/2019 20:15

"I would stay at home if they persist with this"

I would read the OP's posts if I was reading a thread Grin Wink

GinandGingerBeer · 30/11/2019 20:17

MN are bang out of order putting this particular thread on FB. Fgs!

Cheby · 30/11/2019 20:19

This is insane. Good decision though OP.

I worry about what your in-laws will do when your child can walk and their cousin can’t yet. Suspect you will be asked to strap them into the buggy on family occasions just so the cousin isn’t left out.

Wonkybanana · 30/11/2019 20:21

Excellent update. I hope your DP completely supports you, and that he'll be the one to tell his mother that you won't be going and why. You need him fully on board for step 2, which is Do Not Waver and Do Not Give In, even when it gets nasty (which I very much expect it will).

Depending on how he's feeling, he could also tell his mother that she gets her wish - your DS won't be in the Christmas Day photos after all.

Gillian1980 · 30/11/2019 20:22


Ds is now on solids, so he needs to eat. My 6 month old is just weaning and would screech the house down if he could see everyone else eating but didn’t have anything himself!

Ds cannot eat elsewhere, unsupervised, as too young and too risky. Also it would be very mean!

The other baby will have zero idea and therefore won’t give a monkeys.

Other baby can be held for photos.

Other baby may be like many other 8 week olds and want to be cuddled through the entire meal while it’s parents eat one-handed.

MIL and SIL are crazy.

Gillian1980 · 30/11/2019 20:24

Now rtft.

Good call OP!

MummyofTw0 · 30/11/2019 20:24

I’d put your child on the floor with their plate of dinner in front of them and just let them make a right mess on the floor lol x

ToftyAC · 30/11/2019 20:29

Great outcome OP. Have a great Xmas 😁

feelingsinister · 30/11/2019 20:32

@GinandGingerBeer why is it out of order? It's their site and their fb page. It's a public forum where you don't need to be registered to read most content so it's not exactly private.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.