AIBU - Got Christmas shopping rage again

[BahHumbugAnus]

Every freaking year I get the rage when I have to go Christmas shopping. Today was the first day I have attempted it for this year.

I like shopping. I like shopping for my DC and people I think are deserving of a treat. It's the others where I get the absolute F'ing rage.

On the list is my Dad's GF. She has never bought my DC a gift, but I am expected to buy her one because my dad is fully emerged in her family and they buy him. Apparently she likes perfume. So that was £50.

SIL buys my DC so we have to buy her. She always gives us a list of options. She wants a set from JL beauty counter. Another £50.

I've been trying to tone down another gift but it is not working. I just had the conversation again where I said please don't buy my DC gifts, they don't need anything. Just a whopper of a selection box if you must. No, her DC loves receiving presents and looks forward to them. That is another £40 as she told me what to buy her DC.

Nieces and nephews are now having babies and I've another 4 DC to buy for. I don't mind this so much.

So, I've spent all day shopping for the above. I didn't get my DC anything as I was too busy looking for all the above. I didn't buy myself anything as I can't afford it. I never get to treat myself with perfume, JL beauty counter stuff or any luxuries, nor will I receive any at Christmas.

I know I am being a massive humbug. I've had a crap year and I have a lot of things on my plate at the moment. I have just had enough of this bullshit every year. It's never ending. I've toned Christmas down loads but am still buying massive bloody presents for about 5 people and am sick of it. On the other hand there are a few people I am really grateful to and take massive enjoyment in baking for them, wrapping up really nice, selecting a nice wine and card.

@Zaphodsotherhead that sounds like the time I was given a top that was about 5 sizes too big, by a former boyfriend. It also looked like someone puked on it.

For perfume, you can check out the Superdrug star buys, or look in Boots' Black Friday offers. There's also a website I used a while ago, they have deals and can be cheap, I think it's called fragrance direct.

Take every gift back ,and get the money back
Never heard anything so ,ridiculous.

Why don't all the people who moan they won't get anything just buy for each other? I can't imagine down do my £50 on a bottle of perfume for someone I didn't particularly like just to be polite, it's not good getting the rage, that won't do you any good at all. Make this year the year you don't buy expensive presents for cheeky people who don't deserve them. Hope you've kept your receipts

Imagine 'spending' that was supposed to say.

Treat yourself to a backbone dear. Best gift you'll ever get

The cheapo wine can either be given to an alcoholic

You are an absolute twat.

If your dad is embarrassed he can buy for the girlfriend and stick your name on it.
And don't forget to tell her that you like perfume, too!

Yabu.

You don’t have to buy these things. Unless someone is putting a gun to your head, you don’t have to buy anything unless you choose to.

I'm really sorry, but I think you've brought it on your self. You take control and tell everyone that, "you're only buying presents for children." That's it. When they hand you a list of items they fancy, just ignore it! Its ridiculous and embarrrasing that you're buying all these expensive presents, and dont know how to stop?! You are not helping yourself at all. Take them all back and text family to say presents for children only. Decide on a budget for children and stick to it. Why on earth would you buy for your sister and dads girlfriend, when you get nothing in return?! They must be laughing at you.

You could have purchased your Dad's GF a token gift - £10 gift from of perfume for example or git the, a shared gift such as a restaurant voucher

As for your SIL and DH's side why are you buying them anything/such expensive gifts? It's his family so leave him to negotiate no gift or a much more affordable gift.

We also only spend £20 on each child which I think is plenty

I'm with the majority here. Take the stuff back for a refund. Spend it on your own kids.

1. Df & gf can have box of chocs/biscuits between them. The disappointment will not kill him.

1. Friend's dc can have selection box/small lego set/something for £10.

1. Sil should not demand £50 gift. Can you get similar cheaper variant on eBay? Ot maybe wwf donation/adopt a donkey/dogstrust adoption etc.

1. DH can get his lot. Or online shopping is easy - do it together, cosy night in with a bottle of wine. Agree max £ spend before hand.

Spend YOUR money on YOUR children & have the pleasure of watching them Xmas morning.

Merry Christmas!

yikes i don't blame you. I'm glad i've got a sensible family, and in-laws too. we do secret santa and focus more on getting together.

Donate £20 to a worthy charity and buy a pack of cards. Distribute a card to each recipient with the message 'in the spirit of Christmas and saving the planet. This year we have donated to a worthy charity in your name 😊'. If they try crying about that one they'll only look like the right CF's they are.

Return the the expensive presents (or keep them for yourself) and buy them both a Baylis and Harding gift set. £10 max each.

Tbh I wouldn’t buy DF’s girlfriend anything. She clearly couldn’t give a crap about you so I have no idea why you are putting any effort into her present at all.

Take them back.

You are choosing to let them treat you this way. Why care if your dad is embarrassed? He should be embarrassed his gf is 1) entitled and 2) doesn't give a shit about his family.

Asda online for baby/child clothes. Wait until.black friday if you want in case of deals

Stop asking people what they want! If they tell you what they want tell them they're too late and you've already chosen their present.

We buy for our only son. That's it. We don't even buy for each other.
If we want something we get it but not as a gift.

I can't believe people have family members who outright tell each other what to get them. It's different when you're telling your parents/they're telling you, but all these other random family members? Not a chance.

I'd piss myself laughing if some random short term girlfriend of an uncle tried telling me what to buy her. She'd be getting zilch for her rudeness, that's for sure.

I used to go all out on Christmas and stretch the funds thin. Spending ages thinking of the perfect gift for some people. They’d always be really impressed but would always give back cheap tat that had no thought put it and quite often still had sale stickers on. Last year I got all those people £10 amazon vouchers. Save the money and effort for people who do the same for you!

Buy imitation perfume or Avon. Go to Tk max for cheap gifts. Don't spend £50!

I'd definitely set a limit if you have to buy. So a small item from JL makeup not a set, smallest perfume ever, great for her handbag, you could get something ok for £20, it a token gift.

I like present buying if I have the funds, not being dictated to sorbs X amount. But I agree when you have a tight budget going without yourself when you feel obliged to buy sucks.

If any of my family demanded £50 perfume or Cath Kidston handbags and cried if they didn’t get them I’d laugh in their faces and pelt them with gingerbread.

Come on OP. Let them twist, all that'll happen is you'll get the same amount of contact with dad as you do now and they'll not bother at their end next year.

Use this year to make a stand. Stick a tenner in a card if you must.

Let them cry and wail, they get you fuck all. Fuck em.