AIBU - Got Christmas shopping rage again

[BahHumbugAnus]

Every freaking year I get the rage when I have to go Christmas shopping. Today was the first day I have attempted it for this year.

I like shopping. I like shopping for my DC and people I think are deserving of a treat. It's the others where I get the absolute F'ing rage.

On the list is my Dad's GF. She has never bought my DC a gift, but I am expected to buy her one because my dad is fully emerged in her family and they buy him. Apparently she likes perfume. So that was £50.

SIL buys my DC so we have to buy her. She always gives us a list of options. She wants a set from JL beauty counter. Another £50.

I've been trying to tone down another gift but it is not working. I just had the conversation again where I said please don't buy my DC gifts, they don't need anything. Just a whopper of a selection box if you must. No, her DC loves receiving presents and looks forward to them. That is another £40 as she told me what to buy her DC.

Nieces and nephews are now having babies and I've another 4 DC to buy for. I don't mind this so much.

So, I've spent all day shopping for the above. I didn't get my DC anything as I was too busy looking for all the above. I didn't buy myself anything as I can't afford it. I never get to treat myself with perfume, JL beauty counter stuff or any luxuries, nor will I receive any at Christmas.

I know I am being a massive humbug. I've had a crap year and I have a lot of things on my plate at the moment. I have just had enough of this bullshit every year. It's never ending. I've toned Christmas down loads but am still buying massive bloody presents for about 5 people and am sick of it. On the other hand there are a few people I am really grateful to and take massive enjoyment in baking for them, wrapping up really nice, selecting a nice wine and card.

Take the perfume back. Buy him a box of his favourite chocs and send it to both of them. Job done.

Take the gifts back. If your dad is embarrassed tough shit. Tell him he should be embarrassed that he’s ditched his family in favour of his gf family. He should be embarrassed that he insists that you get her something but she isn’t willing to try and get to know your family.

Stop buying for the in laws. If your dh was that bothered, he’d do it. Take the gifts back.

Why carry on if you know it gives you the rage?

And just because someone tells you what to buy, doesn’t mean you have to.

Some families do secret Santa for adults.

That's what we do, not only cuts down the expense but also the soul-destroying search for presents.

You really don't have to do it. Stop buying for DF's girlfriend - if your DF complains, tell him why you have decided not to bother.
Buy for your niece and nephew's children, but not for the niece and nephew. I stopped buying for my niece and nephew when they had children - it can be done!
Don't buy for SIL. Tell her that this year you will just be buying for her children.

At Christmas he gets embarrassed if we don't spoil her the way he is by her family even though she doesn't want to know me and my siblings.

Then let him get embarrassed. This isn't your problem, it's his. Stop being such a wimp.

I’d send a message to everyone I don’t wish to buy for and say hi all, just to let you know we won’t be buying anyone anything for Christmas this year except for a tin of biscuits.
Please don’t buy me or my family anything.
You could add on you are trying to teach your kids the real meaning of Christmas and not the commercial one.

I also love shopping, but Christmas shopping? Bleugh!

We used to do the 'no adults' thing too, except we're the only adults without kids at home, so we used to get nothing. Now, we've all gone the other way, pressies for all and sundry, including my Niece's best friend , my sister's new hubbies daughter and her boyfriend (all of whom I only see once a year at Christmas lunch). Now I just go for 'token' pressies like Thortons Chocs all round. Which is what they do too.

I do buy nice pressies for close Friends, DH and my Mum though

Goodness, why can't you set a price limit, I would never spend so much, do it next year, no point buying presents with bad grace

I agree with Leek MunchingSheepShagger. You don't have to follow their instructions. It's Christmas. It's about giving and what you can afford. I'm not sure why you're buying the children of neices and nephews. That's a step too far. Get refunds and par it right down.

You know what I would do if I were you. Wrap the perfume and beauty counter set up and keep them for yourself. Get wine and chocs for them. Also next year state early you are only doing tokens

Wow and to think I was panicking this year at the thought of buying presents once again for people who already have everything they want.
But I did have the conversation and in one stroke I cut out buying for 4 people who also have no need to buy for me. That was a great moment. To salve their Christmas spirit I did agree to a £10 secret Santa which will be a great help.
Just dont do it OP . They dont appreciate your gifts and dont reciprocate. Ignore the crying.
Keep the lovely things youve bought for yourself or return them .
With your Inlaws I would pass the baton on to your DH and et him choose the presents for his own family. I cant bet my last penny that he wont be traipsing round the shops spending money on people that dont appreciate it.

Do people really just buy boxes of chocolates or biscuits for a present? How do you even know if they like chocolate or the biscuits?

If your Dad is THAT embarrassed he can give you the £50 for his gf expensive present.

Stop asking people and start telling them.

I received a bottle of cheap prosecco for a gift once, when I don't even drink. I had to palm it off on someone.

Sea
I'd love someone to buy me a box of chocolates.

Why are you making such a massive rod for your own back?
It's nobodies fault but your own.
Ignore all the expensive requests, go and buy yourself some Chanel and just get them budget gifts.
if they are not getting you anything then why are you busting your budget for them.
Its a bit mental really.

@BahHumbugAnus would you? I'd probably give them to a food bank. I'm not the biggest fan.

Another one saying keep the items for yourself or return them. 50 quid!
Cheeky fuckers. Not too late to say not this year

Sea my ex partner (only he wasn't an ex then) bought me four boxes of chocolates for Christmas last year. That was it. I don't even eat that many chocolates and still have two boxes left (and I gave one away).

So yes, under most circumstances boxes of chocolates are perfectly acceptable presents (just not really for your nearest and dearest as a sole present).

I don't buy chocolates or wine for anyone, unless it's to accompany a dinner. I have no idea what people's tastes are. I usually would get things in sales, or buy little bits over time. I have 2 birthdays to buy for too, within 6 weeks of Christmas.

My late cousin had her birthday on Christmas day, so she only received one gift from her parents. I remember her being quite upset that she only got a CD one year, by a band she particularly disliked. She had to pretend to like it.... until she got another CD by the same band, the next year.

I personally try to be thoughtful. If I'm on a small budget, I still try to get something they'd like. With chocs and wine, I'd have absolutely no idea. There isn't a point in buying anything if they're not going to like it.

I reckon if you put a tracker on a box of Thornton's and a cheapo bottle of wine it will be passed on about 5 times.

I'd say that I only have such an amount and ask them what type of thing they'd like within that budget.

Oh yeah, I've had a box of Thornton's before that I wasn't able to get rid of. The cheapo wine can either be given to an alcoholic or given on, to be given on again and again.

I hear Aldi and Lidl do some nice perfumes