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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to need clarification on this?

199 replies

Ninkaninus · 15/09/2019 09:51

Will hold off for now on saying who I am in this scenario.

What would you take this comment by B to mean:

Going out for a drive on a lovely sunny day with a view to deciding what to do en route.

Person A ‘I’d like to go for a walk round a nice little town and then go have a cup of tea in a pub, like a Sunday roast but not.

Person B ‘Once you’ve seen one town you’ve seen them all.

(For context, person B generally does not like going out and doing stuff, doesn’t like people, doesn’t like noise and crowds, doesn’t like overstimulation, is an introvert)

Would you take person B’s comment to mean, ‘I don’t want to walk round a town and then go to the pub’

Or would you take it to mean the person is just making conversation, it’s a neutral comment, they don’t mind walking around a town and then going to the pub.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ninkaninus · 15/09/2019 09:52

Forgot quotation marks at least twice. Sorry about that. I’m a little shaken up right now.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 15/09/2019 09:52

I don’t want to walk round a town and then go to the pub.

ElloBrian · 15/09/2019 09:54

I would take it to mean ‘I am going to be a total fun sponge and put a dampener on everything today so you may as well leave me at home’.

Tilltheendoftheline · 15/09/2019 09:55

like to go for a walk round a nice little town and then go have a cup of tea in a pub, like a Sunday roast but not

To be honest if I was person B i wouldnt u understand this statement. 'Go have a cup of tea in a pub, like a sunday roast but not'

How is a cup of tea like a sunday roast but not?

Person B statement I wouldn't take as not wanting to do it. Just a statement of, their opinion. All small towns are the same.

If I was A I would say 'so is that a yes or a no?'

Heyboyo · 15/09/2019 09:55

They don’t want to walk round the town but do want to go to the pub

Summer23 · 15/09/2019 09:55

Person B doesn’t want to go to the town

Geminijes · 15/09/2019 09:55

I'm not really bothered about walking around a town but I'll do it.

Whynotnowbaby · 15/09/2019 09:56

I find both comments a bit confusing! The like a Sunday roast but not doesn’t make sense to me since the suggestion seems to be that you are going to have a cup of tea which is nothing like a Sunday roast. Person B’s comment doesn’t seem to follow on from person A’s so if I were person A I would probably follow up with something like “I suppose so, but do you fancy joining me anyway?” as the initial comment could be either them saying they didn’t really want to go or just a passing comment and I would want to clarify.

CallMeOnMyCell · 15/09/2019 09:57

It’s obvious you are person A so just ask person B if they want to do it or not?

messolini9 · 15/09/2019 09:57

YANBU to need clarification on that. Neither A or B are making any sense.

Why don't you start the conversation again, except this time, each of you clearly express your exact wishes?

gamerwidow · 15/09/2019 09:57

Person B doesn't want to go to town but to be fair they should have said that and then said what they do want to do if they feel that strongly about it.

Duchessgummybuns · 15/09/2019 09:57

B sounds like they’re being a stick in the mud

TokyoSushi · 15/09/2019 09:57

Person B isn't really that keen but will do it, although I'm not sure who would be very keen on going to a pub for a cup of tea! Smile

BanginChoons · 15/09/2019 09:58

I'd take it as a no.

Hederex · 15/09/2019 09:59

That they don't want to. It's an arsey way to say it though and given they'd got in the car I'd hope they had an alternative suggestion.

joolzfromyork · 15/09/2019 09:59

Ummmm ... why are you 'shaken up' ?

Littlechocola · 15/09/2019 09:59

Person B doesn’t want to walk around town.

Original poster
Ninkaninus · 15/09/2019 10:00

To clarify,

We were already in the car but hadn’t agreed on what we were going to do. Key bit is the walk round and visit to pub - could have been a pint/meal/cup of tea.

Funny that people are picking up on the cup of tea thing, i can see that it doesn’t really make sense although it does in context of the person who said it. I should have left that out as it’s not relevant, I was just trying to post the conversation exactly as it went.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 15/09/2019 10:00

B doesn't really want to go

CrystalShark · 15/09/2019 10:01

The Sunday roast cup or tea but not comment is weird. Doesn’t make any sense. What should it have said?

But yeah, B is basically putting a dampener on the plan by being very ‘been there, done that already’ about it, while offering zero alternative that they’d find more exciting. A has proposed a plan and B has rubbished it without bothering to put any effort into suggesting something better, even if they’re still willing to go along with it. It’s rude and I would much rather go out for the day alone than drag someone along who behaves like that.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 15/09/2019 10:01

I'd take it that B doesn't want to go for a walk or go to the pub

Original poster
Ninkaninus · 15/09/2019 10:01

I’ll explain later why I’m shaken up.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 15/09/2019 10:02

I would take person B’s comment to mean, ‘I don’t want to walk round a town and then go to the pub’

Did A then ask what B might prefer instead?

Doesn’t seem anything to get particularly het up about?

coconuttelegraph · 15/09/2019 10:02

I think I would have asked B what they meant exactly

CrystalShark · 15/09/2019 10:02

Why are you shaken up? What happened next?