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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP and his friend speaking German in front of me

202 replies

CassandrasCastle · 07/09/2019 16:20

I'm currently at a festival with my bf and his good friend, who's German. Bf is fluent in German, and the friend speaks English but quite slowly/hesitantly. Sometimes he'd need to glance at bf for a translation.
They're both also taking some acid, which I said I was fine with, but am pregnant and so can obviously ingest nooothing of the sort.
Anyway, they have almost exclusively German convs whens I'm there. I try to contribute and things go to English, or my boyfriend occasionally translates. But I feel like some fucking third wheel. I understand the guy not understanding English perfectly , I don't want him to feel uncomfortable :( But I'm getting sort of simmeringly pissed off about it, and just told my boyfriend who sat down next to me at a show instead of his friend, to maybe move away from me while he was smoking (he's having a couple while he's out there). I feel like a bitch tbh. My bf is usually extremely kind and understanding, but I just can't be arsed atm. Still first trimester so I suppose I can blame it on hormones 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
CassandrasCastle · 07/09/2019 16:21

Oh yes, I think my actual point was, is all the German speaking actually unreasonable...

OP posts:
LochJessMonster · 07/09/2019 16:24

Yabu

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 07/09/2019 16:26

A out to be a dad, taking acid - he needs to grow the fuck up.

YDraig · 07/09/2019 16:26

Goodness me I don’t know where to start. Yabu. Foreign languages are the least of your concern.

YouJustDoYou · 07/09/2019 16:27

My dh does this in his mother tongue sometimes with visiting friend, i can understand most of it but my replying is shit so I tend to go and do my own thing. They're not doing it on purpose, it's convenience for them, no?

BonneMa · 07/09/2019 16:28

your BF is taking acid, you are pregnant and you worry about him speaking German to a friend with not so good English.

I think you need to give your head a serious wobble!

speakout · 07/09/2019 16:30

You are at a festival, pregnant with your bf and friend who are taking LSD.
Sounds a fab day out. Hmm

easyandy101 · 07/09/2019 16:30

Hanging out with people on acid is always shit unless you've necked some as well

Let em enjoy it, my friends get alot more native when we're all on acid and they are fluent ESLers. I really struggle to speak French when tripping and can normally do it quite well

easyandy101 · 07/09/2019 16:33

Cue a thread of DRUGS ARE A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME OP, LINES OF DUCKS, LTBs and whatever else

She obviously doesn't care about the acid so why the fuck does anyone else care?

badgermushrooms · 07/09/2019 16:33

What a fun time you must be having, sitting there stone cold sober while your companions take acid and converse in a language you can't understand. Do not for the love of god let yourself feel like a bitch for being angry about this.

ScreamingBeans · 07/09/2019 16:35

Agree with others that it's not the German that's the problem.

Long term, if this BF is a big part of his life, I'd advise you to learn German and then you can join in.

But I also advise that long term, your DP needs to find friends who go in for adult pursuits. So maybe the German is optional.

GibbonLover · 07/09/2019 16:36

I am impressed he can remember his German when he's tripping his nuts off. You did know this was the way things would turn out though, you say these conversations are nothing new. Du bist unvernünftig.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/09/2019 16:36
Confused
easyandy101 · 07/09/2019 16:37

Du bist unvernünftig

Grin
LakieLady · 07/09/2019 16:39

When I was tripping (1970's), I could barely speak English, despite me being a native English speaker. The prospect of trying to translate into a foreign language with a headful of acid is mindblowing. Either the acid is shite or your BF is a fantastic linguist.

Anyways, YABU about the German-speaking.

PetitTorteois · 07/09/2019 16:39

So if you were in the friend's position, would you speak a foreign language you seriously struggled with just so that your friend's boyfriend would understand you. Or would you rather spoke in English with your friend? I have a feeling you would stick to English. Am I right?

ScreamingBeans · 07/09/2019 16:39
Grin
cranstonmanor · 07/09/2019 16:41

Welll if the friend diesn't really speak english then you will need to learn german. Why should your language trump his?

Oh, and grow up before the baby is here please.

wildcherries · 07/09/2019 16:42

YABU about the German-speaking. I'd have other issues with the setup though

SimonJT · 07/09/2019 16:54

I don’t personally think what he is doing is a problem/rude.

My boyfriends first language is Swedish, he talks it around his friends. My first language is Urdu, I talk it around him knowing he can’t understand. If the friend has poor English there is little choice

Grumpelstilskin · 07/09/2019 16:55

Werde erwachsen OP.

UrsulaPandress · 07/09/2019 16:55

Is acid still a thing?

Surfskatefamily · 07/09/2019 16:59

I can't imagine trying to speak a foreign language whilst on acid (or having n angry pregnant lady speak foreign to me) poor guy is probably tripping out
your bf should have told you in advance to bring another friend as regardless of language differences your not able to be included totally in this experience.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 07/09/2019 17:05

Sterling behaviour of father to be taking drugs...what a shining example of responsibility towards you OP and your unborn child.....shakes head and walks away....

easyandy101 · 07/09/2019 17:09

A bad influence on an unborn child?

ffs