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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP and his friend speaking German in front of me

202 replies

CassandrasCastle · 07/09/2019 16:20

I'm currently at a festival with my bf and his good friend, who's German. Bf is fluent in German, and the friend speaks English but quite slowly/hesitantly. Sometimes he'd need to glance at bf for a translation.
They're both also taking some acid, which I said I was fine with, but am pregnant and so can obviously ingest nooothing of the sort.
Anyway, they have almost exclusively German convs whens I'm there. I try to contribute and things go to English, or my boyfriend occasionally translates. But I feel like some fucking third wheel. I understand the guy not understanding English perfectly , I don't want him to feel uncomfortable :( But I'm getting sort of simmeringly pissed off about it, and just told my boyfriend who sat down next to me at a show instead of his friend, to maybe move away from me while he was smoking (he's having a couple while he's out there). I feel like a bitch tbh. My bf is usually extremely kind and understanding, but I just can't be arsed atm. Still first trimester so I suppose I can blame it on hormones 🤔

OP posts:
PancakeAndKeith · 08/09/2019 16:35

What is the difference between the father taking acid and drinking? I bet there wouldn’t be near as much pearl clutching if he had drunk half a bottle of a rather nice wine.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 08/09/2019 16:36

Out if his face on half a bottle of wine (nice or otherwise)?

Ginger1982 · 08/09/2019 17:06

@PancakeAndKeith because personally I think taking drugs is worse than drinking alcohol 🤷🏼‍♀️

PancakeAndKeith · 08/09/2019 17:13

Why is it worse? What is the difference?

Ginger1982 · 08/09/2019 17:19

Because one is an illegal substance and one isn't. It says something about the user's overall attitude.

PancakeAndKeith · 08/09/2019 17:44

One is socially acceptable and one isn’t. That is the difference.

Dutch1e · 08/09/2019 18:03

If you ever migrate to a non English-speaking country you'll find out how 'hungry' you become to speak your own language. I think it's courteous of your DP to speak German to his friend who can't fully express himself in English.

Next time bring a friend and leave them to it?

PapayaCoconut · 09/09/2019 06:56

"One is socially acceptable and one isn’t. That is the difference."

Yeah and street racing is just another a hobby, like cycling! Same thing.

toomuchtooold · 09/09/2019 07:31

I can't decide what I love most about this thread, the pearl clutching over the acid consumption or the virtue signalling about the forrin language. Your bf's mate speaks a bit of English, you don't speak German, they're being rude. They should speak the language that everyone can speak, however poorly. Or they should have come out on their own. And I say that as a fairly decent German speaker who lives in Germany.

Google Translate does not always work out well

Aye I was thinking that as well. I don't know exactly what's wrong with some of these sentences but I'd never say it like that.

gingersausage · 09/09/2019 09:12

Why are certain people on here so desperate to show how “cool” they are about illegal drugs? I guess acid is just Middle Class enough (like coke and weed) that anyone who thinks it’s fucking stupid is automatically a pearl clutcher 🙄.

There was a thread yesterday where someone’s partner was involved in the supply of illegal drugs; she was eviscerated. How are people reconciling how cool drugs are and how it’s no big deal to take them, with how they are getting hold of them in the first place?? Does not compute.

In this particular case, it’s “fine” because it’s a festival, because the baby isn’t born, because it’s acid, because he didn’t take much blah blah bullshit 🙄. If it was heroin in a council flat, you’d be calling SS. Guaranteed.

Illegal drug apologists always try to bring alcohol into it. It’s such a straw man because ultimately alcohol is still legal. Whether you drink around your baby, unborn or otherwise, is a moral argument not a legal one. You’re not going to face years of prison time for buying a can of cider.

Morgan12 · 09/09/2019 09:16

A small dose of acid at a festival is a million miles away from a heroin addict ffs.

And I wouldn't be happy with my DH doing it no. It would maybe even be a deal breaker for me. But it cannot be compared to a junkie.

easyandy101 · 09/09/2019 09:16

Haven't mentioned alcohol or criticised anyone for disliking drugs

They're a personal choice and people are going to feel how they feel about them, I couldn't give a shit what anyone else's view is on it really. It's a shame that op mentioned it

aqua00 · 09/09/2019 09:28

Just go home OP. Sounds crap, sitting in a tent, vomiting and then eating Tangfastics. What a life.

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 09:38

Alcohol should be illegal imo, or they should decriminalise a lot of drugs - tax them, make money. So for me the drugs isn't the issue. I would think normally it is rude for two people to exclude you by speaking a knagyage you do not understand, but in this case his knowledge if English has probably gone out of the window. Are you there to be the diver one that keeps an eye on them? I wouldn't of bothered going if I was pregnant and couldn't join in tbh.

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 09:39

Sober one... Language... Many mistakes

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 09:39

Wouldn't HAVE, don't crucify me

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 09:41

Whether you drink around your baby, unborn or otherwise, is a moral argument not a legal one. You’re not going to face years of prison time for buying a can of cider.

But only because alcohol is legal, if it were illegal then you would face time. If they legalise drugs, like weed as they have done in some places, it becomes a moral problem the same as alcohol., as it should be.

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 09:44

Try working with addicts.

You mean like alcoholics who are legally allowed to poison themselves?

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 09:50

People will always say it should be illegal because addicts, fucks your life up, but alcohol does the exact same thing so I don't get that, and if alcohol were made illegal then people would still be getting it illegally just like drugs today, or brewing their own. At primary school there was a mum who was an alcoholic, ruddy face all the time, she got pulled over after dropping her kid of at school in a Car, she was acting relatively normally but she was so over the limit that after spending a the day and night in custody cell she was still way over the limit but functioning as if she wasn't. My grandfather thas told me before that in custody they have had to give alcoholics alcohol because they are so addicted that their bodies cannot finction without it and they would die, so they have to be weaned with it. But its nothing like illegal drugs?

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 09/09/2019 09:59

It’s the same pattern. Lies, obsession, health issues, work issues, family issues, loss of control/health/family/home... addiction is addiction - the centres treat both legal and illegal addictions. And yes - we had a mum who would frequently rock up at lunchtime three sheets to the wind to collect her child from nursery.

If you work with AA and NA groups you need people with very similar problems.

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 10:02

So shouldn't alcohol also be illegal because some people become addicted?

VenusClapTrap · 09/09/2019 10:03

I’d just go home.

MumUndone · 09/09/2019 10:04

Why are you there OP? Sounds a bit shit.

Honflyr · 09/09/2019 10:04

Not to mention gambling... That's also an addiction that ruins lives

zxcvhjkl · 09/09/2019 10:04

OP personally I would be heading home. It sounds like they're having a good time. Leave them to it and sleep in your own bed and have some comfort. Then the German speaking can't bother you, you can vomit in a toilet and eat something more satisfying than fangtastics.

Have you considered learning the language so you can join in the conversation? Especially as you say you hope your child will be bilingual.