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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP and his friend speaking German in front of me

202 replies

CassandrasCastle · 07/09/2019 16:20

I'm currently at a festival with my bf and his good friend, who's German. Bf is fluent in German, and the friend speaks English but quite slowly/hesitantly. Sometimes he'd need to glance at bf for a translation.
They're both also taking some acid, which I said I was fine with, but am pregnant and so can obviously ingest nooothing of the sort.
Anyway, they have almost exclusively German convs whens I'm there. I try to contribute and things go to English, or my boyfriend occasionally translates. But I feel like some fucking third wheel. I understand the guy not understanding English perfectly , I don't want him to feel uncomfortable :( But I'm getting sort of simmeringly pissed off about it, and just told my boyfriend who sat down next to me at a show instead of his friend, to maybe move away from me while he was smoking (he's having a couple while he's out there). I feel like a bitch tbh. My bf is usually extremely kind and understanding, but I just can't be arsed atm. Still first trimester so I suppose I can blame it on hormones 🤔

OP posts:
Sagradafamiliar · 07/09/2019 19:26

Is the friend Technoviking? As he can do no wrong. If not, yanbu.

Nomoremilk · 07/09/2019 19:27

I love all the cool posters who think the rest are pearl clutchers because they think taking drugs is pathetic.
Imagine if the boyfriend had a bad trip and hurt himself or took something else accidentally and died. Then OP would be stuck raising a baby on her own if he didn't hurt her in the process.
Poor kid!

Witchinaditch · 07/09/2019 19:34

I’m at all the yabu for the speaking German it’s really rude to leave one person out of the conversation. If OP and her boyfriend spoke exclusively English In front of the friend that would be rude also. OP said that the friend can speak English, I think Yanbu in the language front but agree with everyone else you have larger problems like a selfish dp who takes acid when you’re pregnant.

Witchinaditch · 07/09/2019 19:34

I’m surprised*

Witchinaditch · 07/09/2019 19:39

I really don’t think OP deserves this bashing, anyone clutching their pearls at her eating haribos I assume in your pregnancies you ate perfectly 100% of the time never dating to touch any junk food! Give her a break.

MyNameIsIrrelevant · 07/09/2019 19:40

I'd be much more concerned with the drugs than the language tbh!

LagunaBubbles · 07/09/2019 19:47

She obviously doesn't care about the acid so why the fuck does anyone else care?

Because sadly yet again there is an innocent baby being brought into this relationship. Sad

IamWaggingBrenda · 07/09/2019 19:48

So you’re upset about being left out of the conversation, but fine with him taking acid? I pity you’re baby

IamWaggingBrenda · 07/09/2019 19:48
  • your, not you’re
Cheeserton · 07/09/2019 19:54

You can get addicted to acid

Not so much. Tolerance rapidly develops in a matter of days so that the effect is seriously limited if taken habitually, and it's not physically addictive. Sure some people may like it too much but it's bit /not a drug of addiction in the true sense either psychologically or physically, for sound scientific reasons.

TheTrollFairy · 07/09/2019 19:55

You see nothing wrong with drugs but have a problem with them speaking German... right’o. I am officially old if this is ‘normal’ these days

Cheeserton · 07/09/2019 19:55

You can get addicted to acid

Not so much. Tolerance rapidly develops in a matter of days so that the effect is seriously limited if taken habitually, and it's not physically addictive. Sure some people may like it too much but it's bit /not a drug of addiction in the true sense either psychologically or physically, for sound scientific reasons.

ReapersHowler · 07/09/2019 19:56

You know they're looking into microdosing acid as a treatment for mental health disorders? It's highly successful actually so could well become normal. Wonder if it would still be immature then?

Cheeserton · 07/09/2019 19:57

It's not a*

Cheeserton · 07/09/2019 20:02

Wonder if it would still be immature then?

Do you not think that very moderate dosing under medical supervision for genuine need is rather different from tripping your face off purely recreationally? Strikes me as pretty different.

PancakeAndKeith · 07/09/2019 20:06

Water and Haribo eh OP. Nice nutritious start for your baby. Could BF not throw some candy floss and a can of coke in there as well and just be done with it?

He is eating Haribo, not her. And what the hell is wrong with water? I assume that everyone on this thread stopped their partner from drinking the moment they peed on a stick and never ate anything that wasn’t organic the whole of their pregnancy.

There is a world of difference between acid and heroin/coke/being a junky.

Branleuse · 07/09/2019 21:02

Are pregnant women not allowed sweets now?

araiwa · 07/09/2019 21:03

The fact that someone thought that he was smoking acid gives an idea of how much they know about anything- zero

Dljlr · 07/09/2019 21:06

German DP does this when his best mate, who is fluent in English, visits. It's fucking rude and gets on my tits.

Ginger1982 · 07/09/2019 21:06

*We are not both immature fools.
*
Hmm...well he certainly is and if you're ok with him taking illegal drugs, no matter how little the dose, then I wonder about you too.

novasglowx · 07/09/2019 21:12

Oh for fucks sake.

ScreamingBeans · 07/09/2019 21:19

Seriously, people who get together with people who speak another language and don't bother to learn that language but get annoyed with them for speaking it with their friends, are really weird.

You can't help lapsing into your mother tongue when you're with people you know well. It's not done to wind you up. It just feels incredibly artificial and stilted to talk foreign to them unless there are loads of other people there all talking the same foreign language.

SimonJT · 07/09/2019 21:27

@ScreamingBeans I completely agree, I lived with my ex for nearly two years, by the time he moved out his Urdu was pretty passable. My boyfriend is Swedish, he has learned some Urdu and I have learned some Swedish already and it’s only been six months.

MorganKitten · 07/09/2019 21:36

Your child will be part German, maybe you should start learning some so you don’t get jealous when his family speaks to them?

Beautiful3 · 07/09/2019 22:09

I'd be more bothered that hes taking drugs rather than speaking another language.