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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To start using my Dr title everywhere?

508 replies

Fyette · 19/08/2019 18:01

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

OP posts:
daisyboocantoo · 19/08/2019 18:06

If I had a PhD I would be using the title wherever possible.

You worked hard for that. Be an inspiration!

flashingliiiigghts · 19/08/2019 18:07

Use it with pride - you’ve earned it.

BuildBuildings · 19/08/2019 18:08

A PhD is soooo much work, you've earned it so use it. How many men do you think ask themselves this?!

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 19/08/2019 18:08

You must. And then report back to us with the results! Grin

elephantoverthehill · 19/08/2019 18:09

I would love to be able to; Miss, Mrs or Ms? Actually Dr.

Divgirl2 · 19/08/2019 18:09

Use it - use it everywhere. Not when booking flights, but everywhere else.

Needanewname2 · 19/08/2019 18:09

You earned it, you should use it.

Etino · 19/08/2019 18:09

Use it!

Annabk · 19/08/2019 18:09

Definitely use it.

GatoFofo · 19/08/2019 18:10

I agree that people using their Dr title outside of their profession makes them look like a twat, but agree that you should try it out on the condescending people you’re having to deal with.
Please come back and report back on how much better you are treated!

AnnieCat84 · 19/08/2019 18:10

I'd be using it everywhere if I had a PhD! He proud!

Paddyodoors · 19/08/2019 18:10

Use your title.

FadedRed · 19/08/2019 18:11

You’ve earned it, so use it.

Sparklesocks · 19/08/2019 18:11

Certainly worth a try!

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 19/08/2019 18:12

I have a few friends with PHDs- none use Doctor as their title. No sure why. Just don't.

StealthPolarBear · 19/08/2019 18:12

Do it. I would and have tried with my qualifications but apparently swimming cerficiates from when you were nine don't garner respect :o

Ninkaninus · 19/08/2019 18:12

If I had done all that work over all those years I’d be using my well-earned title and there wouldn’t be anything twatty about it!

TalbotAMan · 19/08/2019 18:15

Use it. I always had an ambition for a PhD but ended up with other professional qualifications which, good as they are, are 'after' rather than 'before', and now I've realised that I am really too old to get one. I sometimes think the Germans do it better than we do.

LightDrizzle · 19/08/2019 18:15

Definitely use it!

justonecottonpickingminute · 19/08/2019 18:15

This was genuinely one of the reasons I wanted my doctorate - the academic career was secondary. (I'm technically "Prof." now, but still use "Dr" in general life. People assume professors are dotty eccentrics who spend their time in dusty libraries while doctors are dashing heroes who can save lives. I can't save anyone's life, but I'm not going to let on about that from the off...!)

Bodear · 19/08/2019 18:15

Stealth brag? Grin

Seriously though, use it!! Be a fabulous inspiration to others.

Sandybval · 19/08/2019 18:16

Yes doc.

ShirleyPhallus · 19/08/2019 18:17

I would and have tried with my qualifications but apparently swimming cerficiates from when you were nine don't garner respect

You joke but I’ve actually seen this listed on someone’s CV before!

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 19/08/2019 18:20

Wow! Why do you not use it?? I've never had the chance to have a career because of ill health and can't understand why people do this!
Also, I empathise with you regarding being patronised. I too am patronised and get treated differently to other adults because of my height. Today was an example. I won't go into as May out myself, but I made a point I was not going to be treated like shit and they changed towards me. Sadly, we do live in a world full of judgemental people.

Mokepon · 19/08/2019 18:21

I do this.
It's actually hilarious to see the change in peoples demeanour.
I don't care if you think I'm a twat. I'm the first in our family to have a degree never mind the PhD so Dr Mokepon it is Grin.