To start using my Dr title everywhere?

[Fyette]

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

DH has a PhD in genetics.
He doesn't use the title but does have his certificate on the wall in our dining room, right next to my certificate in Cornish pasty making (Mr Chokes bakery Falmouth 2013)

I have a PHD and changed everything to Dr the minute I passed my vam currently on Mat leave. I dress really, really, really casually plus am naturally a chatty person so am one of those annoying mums at playgroups who'll be on the floor, wriggling around with my baby and getting other babies involved in our game 🙈 There have been a few times when a few of the snotty mums have mentioned something about their jobs and spoken to me condescendingly- I have LOVED the look of shock, surprise and embarrassment when I tell them what I do.

Sorry, should've proof read before posting:

...changed to Dr the minute I passed my viva. I'm currently on mat leave...

Use it! I wish I had one!

You use that title!

I remember the pride a cousin had when we started addressing their mail to "Dr and Dr Lastname". (Yes, she took her husband's name. This was years ago)

If you were German this wouldn’t even be a question. I used to teach English to someone with a double PhD. He was known as Doctor Doctor x. We use first names in the class. Then they reverted to German and he was Dr Dr x again.

So yes, of course us it. You’ve earnt it. 🌟

Also, I find reception at doctors surgeries and pharmacies (I have ongoing health issues) are super receptive when I call to make an appointment or query results, etc. Do it @Fyette! A PHD/doctorate is a pain in the bum to get. Flaunt it!

Sorry OP, I know a lot of academics and I don’t know anyone with a PhD who does this. Only medical doctors use their Dr title in life.
It would be slightly cringe I feel and a bit try hard.

One of the reasons I wanted to do a PhD was so I could have the title Dr and never again be judged on whether I was male or female before someone met me, or whether I'm married/single.

If people want to judge me as a that for that I'd say it says more about them than me, so I'm not really bothered.

Go for it OP!

I have one, I use it everywhere I can for my formal title (not always included in tick-box lists). But I rarely introduce myself using it - I normally just use my first name. I very rarely correct people not using it; only if they are being patronising. Day to day people hardly ever use formal titles and when they do they are often being a bit pompous to start with. I also like the fact I am then not a ‘Mrs’ because my marital status is nearly always irrelevant.

You're perfectly entitled to use the title. Not sure why some people think PhD doctors aren't 'real' doctors - that's one of the definitions! I think some people see it as twattish but tbh this is just British anti-intellectualism. Getting a PhD is a lot of work and you are entitled to use the title. However I might personally worry about being asked to provide urgent medical assistance!!

I use mine. Same reason really. I’m mid 30s, look younger, don’t wear much make up and often slouch around in trainers and jeans. So yes, when asked “is it miss?” My response has been “erm no, Dr” People might think I’m a twat but they also noticeably treat me better. My most satisfying was when collecting my car from a service and they called my name while smiling at the suited chap in his 50s. Embrace it. You’ll hate yourself for a second and then you’ll feel so much better.

I have a PhD and I confess I use it. I know it is considered bad form, but for me, that is the only sign I have of ever achieving anything! I am now a wheelchair-bound benefits scrounger and I think it is important to demonstrate that actually, if can happen to any of us.

I also like it when they ask 'Mrs or Miss' and I get to answer 'Dr'! I wouldn't put in on emails or anything, but for me, it is evidence of who I once was.

I'd not use it... I have friends with doctorates, and they never use them outside of work.
The only person who DID use it at every opportunity used to get pestered about people's medical conditions.
There is a person I know of who is studying for a 'masters' , and is quite pompous about it and mentions it in the third person a lot on 'social media' at every opportunity.

@titnomatani

I have the title but dont really use it unless its something that I think it might help me with (eg when I wanted to rent out a flat that was on a very popular road I put in my title as Dr and got the flat). Its on my bank card along with my initial so I sometimes put it in the middle of the table to pay a bill just to see who they present the card machine to. It's usually DP. Also use it when I want to conceal my marital status or gender (although I can currently think of no logical reason why I would need to do that)

Do it, Doctor.

I have a very good pal with a PhD, & feel dumbly proud to address her as Dr rather than Ms on postal envelopes.

She doesn't make an issue of it, would introduce herself as Name Surname rather than Dr Surname - but would certainly use it to correct any patronisation from folk who also assume she is a Ms or worse, Miss.

& as Birds says above - neatly ducks the married/not married question. Ace.

Hope you have fun setting twats straight with it :)

I am a medical Dr and use it all the time - btw, it is incorrect to say that physycians without a Doctorate in Medicine use it as a courtesy title. The word Doctor is directly from Latin 'doceo' - 'I teach' - teaching is an integral part of medicine throughout a doctor's career.

Another interesting thing is that surgeons, on gaining their MRCS immediately drop the Dr and revert to Mr, Ms, Mrs, in the work environment, but, I have noticed, continue to use Dr outside work (on chequebooks, letters, etc).

You should use it - why on earth not?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

This is the point. Using your title for this reason says: stuff all those women who weren't able to get a PhD!

I’m the same. I’m early 30s (look about 12) and am in an extremely professional position and people patronise the shit out of me. Had a contact come to our office last week for a meeting. He made a beeline for my colleague who is in her 60s assuming she was the lead professional (I am, I manage her and the rest of the team). When I introduced myself ‘Hi, I’m Skittlenommer’ he asked if I was on work experience there!!!?

It happens all the time and it’s so frustrating!

Don’t have my PhD yet, but when I do I’m going play the Dr card a lot.

I’d use it, it’s a huge achievement.

If I had the brains for a phd I’d use the title that goes with it. Our neighbour used dr and I didn’t think she was twatty I just thought ooh she’s got a phd.

I don't ever introduce myself as Dr Nearly, in person.

If asked for a title, I do choose Dr though. Have just changed my title to Dr on my bank card after 25 years as 'Miss'!

I also have it on work cards, which is standard.

It's very important that at work women are addressed as Dr- there is research to show males are more likely in academia to be introduced as Dr or Professor, and women by their first name, Kathy or Sarah. If titles didn't matter, why would people use them more frequently for men. I have had this happen to me, 'on our panel today, we have Dr Very Important, Professor Nonentity and Nearly'.

I’ve got a PhD in Chemistry. Too fucking right I’m using the title Dr - and I dgaf what people think of that.

Well done for all your hard work.

Him indoors is also a PhD but doesn't use it much as he always gets confused with a medical doctor (especially now that he's older lol)

That said, you're entitled to it so go for it

II agree that people using their Dr title outside of their profession makes them look like a twat*

Why, out of interest?

I don’t routinely introduce myself as Dr, but I wouldn’t use Mrs or Miss either. These days titles aren’t in as much use on a day to day basis.

But if I’m asked, I absolutely will use Dr. Also on forms where I have to answer.

Miss/mrs is not my title, so I don’t use them.

There is a thing on twitter at the minute where women use their dr title, as it had been observed that women will be introduced, even in an academic setting, as “firstname lastname”, where men will be “dr lastname”.

Why is ok for married women to announce their marital status in their title but not their education? Back to the days where women should know their place and not get any jumped up ideas? Downplay their achievements?

Oh and it does change people’s perceptions. Far more than you think. Responding to “is it Miss or Mrs” with “it’s dr actually” and you can hear the mental gear shift as people readjust from thinking you’re a housewife buying a sofa to an independent woman with a job probably better than theirs.

I know a lot of women who are “proud to be a Mrs”, and would never use miss or ms. Well I am proud of having a phd. Same thing. If i’m a twat for using dr there’s a lot of women who are twats for using mrs.