To start using my Dr title everywhere?

[Fyette]

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

Groundhog day again. I've posted this about 50 times in this thread already.

You can keep posting it too, your opinion is just that, you're a ring like you're getting frustrated you can't change other people's opinions. You don't speak for everyone who has a PhD clearly.

Hell yes! Do it! I too look a lot younger for my age and always get asked for I.D - even to buy a lottery ticket. Not happened in a little while so I must look like crap now 😂

The more I think about this thread, the more I think people should use their title.

I mentioned the teacher -the first time i’d heard of a phd age 17.
It was still only after I got to uni i fully understood what a phd was and what careers it would access.

In hindsight i may have looked at alternative degrees- nursing, pharmacy etc rather than pure science as I would have had more options, both in research and in general. But i had no idea there was such a thing as a research nurse, or that a nurse could do a phd.

Willing to bet if you asked a random member of the public about cancer research they’d tell you about fundraising, battles, fun runs and raising awareness. Very few would know about how you actually get in to doing the research, and the people who do it.

Do what you like, and congratulations!

But: As a (British) rule, medical doctors use their honorific socially, PhDs use it only in academic circles, or at work when it's relevant. No-one will mind if you DON'T use it, some will consider it pretentious if you do.

Sorry.

Go for it! You earned it so don't be embarrassed.

You earned it, so use your title whenever you like !! :)

No I wouldn't. I come from a large family of medics and it totally brasses me off that they believe the Dr title opens doors, they are mostly entitled and arrogant. It even is in some of their email addresses sheesh

As a (British) rule, medical doctors use their honorific socially, PhDs use it only in academic circles, or at work when it's relevant

I know about 10 people with PHDs in the UK and they all, without exception use it as their title. They wouldn't introduce themselves as Dr Smith if they met you as they'd use first names but on forms etc they use Dr. Maybe it's a 'rule' in the circles you mix with but it's a leap to say it's the whole of Britain!

Those who think their medical doctors were impressed... doctors feign interest/being impressed by whatever a patient's career is. Because it's polite.

And yet, the patronising git I first pulled out my PhD for (I was a 25 yo blonde and he was suggesting a TUBE) treated me like a rational adult thereafter and desisted from offering to feel my boobs.

Be prepared for people to ask your opinion on their sciatica

Everyone I know with a PhD uses their Dr title 'socially' (although nobody gets introduced by title at any social event I have attended) and on forms and for bank accounts. At a quick estimate that's about 50 people, including me. I live in Britain.
God knows who they might be showing off, being pretentious or getting validation from. It's so normal that nobody notices or cares. Plus, it's clear from this thread that many people don't even know what it means.

I use my title in personal life as well as work.

Use it, you earned it! My hisband is down as Dr. Fsm in my phone, because he was a bot sad after all that work that nobody ever uses it.

I'd love to be able to say Dr Rick James... in this sexist, racist, ageist, ableist world you should should totally use your earned title!

Also using Dr in a Twitter name makes my toes curl all the way up to my knees.

Why, clean?

My understanding is that women academics started using their titles on twitter after complaints that media outlets were using titles for men but not women.

Lots of people use twitter professionally, and usually, you do use a title in a professional context, don't you?

My understanding is that women academics started using their titles on twitter after complaints that media outlets were using titles for men but not women.

Good for them.

I almost never use it in a professional context because it's the norm for my role in my company.

My comment was linked to my point about women academics.

In academia, people do usually use titles. Not absolutely invariably and not in all situations (as is clear from this thread). But it wouldn't be weird to use a title if you're posting in a professional context/about professional questions.

Off topic, but just putting this here, for any of you feminists who are interested:

500womenscientists.org/request-a-scientist

But it wouldn't be weird to use a title if you're posting in a professional context/about professional questions. I agree but it is weird if your Phd is totally irrelevant and surpassed by other qualifications. A woman I know has a Phd but then went on to gain a chartered accountancy qualification and she specialises in a an area that has nothing to do with her Phd - she clearly indicates her accountancy qualifications for professional reasons but rarely mentions her Phd - I only know because she has told me her life story while pissed!

Sure, Sarah - academics go by Dr or Prof as a matter of course. As do industry scientists in some contexts but not internally.

@Rubicon80
‘find Mrs more cringey than Dr though; I'll use Dr when I need to, but I will never, ever be a Mrs as long as I live. It makes me feel like I'm going to grow a big unibosom and start carrying a handbag and wearing floral tea dresses.’ 🤣 Yes! Exactly this! And my marital status is irrelevant in pretty much all situations.
I would like pp’s to expand on why Dr is twatty (as you have done) and if they use Mrs but perhaps it’s just easier to call someone twatty than consider their own cognitive dissonance.

I find it interesting that many pp’s say only use Dr in professional context yet use Mrs in professional contexts. Why? How is marital status ever relevant professionally?

@moimichme Thanks for posting that. I’d never heard of it and have just joined up!

I use it- I don’t like to be defined by my marital status. Men aren’t, so I don’t see why I should be.

The people referring to etiquette and Miss Manners to back up their argument that Dr should only be used in professional contexts are hilarious. The correct etiquette is that a person with a doctorate is addressed as Dr, in all contexts where a title is used (unless of course they choose otherwise). It is not a term for the work place, it is not listing professional qualifications. It is the correct title for someone with a doctorate degree and has been for centuries. It is no different from using Mr for an adult male (who has not earned or been granted a different title).

Yes, etiquette changes, which is why medical doctors can use the title Dr while practising medicine (but not consultant surgeons) and why Ms has come into existence. But honestly, people erroneously claiming etiquette means anyone using Dr outside of an academic environment looks like a twat is the one who looks like an idiot.