To start using my Dr title everywhere?

[Fyette]

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

I have also joined that 500 group, cheers.
I'd also like an explanation of why I am a twat for using my title. I don't introduce myself with it unless it's a particular professional context, but it is on my bank cards and I will always use it in preference to Miss/Mrs/Ms on forms.

In the USA, the dominant cultural norms are about 'bigging yourself up', shouting about your achievements, money, status, sexual attractiveness, sporting triumphs, whatever.
This is categorically no more true in the US than anywhere else in the world. I am American by birth, naturalised British, have lived in Asia, and I can tell you that there are plenty of people in all of those places who crow about their status, earnings, assets. It's not a dominant "American" trait by any stretch. So, I don't use my title out of some American self-importance, I use it because I've earned it through hard work, and I am role modelling for my dcs that education can be a possible and very positive opportunity at any stage in life.

I know loads of medical drs and the females get just as patronised when they use their title - some people are just shite
School is bloody awful - My sons old school head would always defer to my DHs 'superior' knowledge & opinion over mine despite the fact she knows I'm a highly educated professional in my own right (I have more degrees than DH even though he is a dr but I don't have a title) as I have taught several sessions at their careers week and the fact that DH readily states he knows fuck all about what's going on with the kids at school/curriculum etc, and will defer to me in meetings, she still bloody addresses him! - we had some issues with bullying and supply teachers so had quite a few meetings with her.
I also look younger than I am (although tiredness and illness at the moment is doing its best to rectify this) and it can be frustrating when people treat you like you are too young / inexperienced etc
DH doesn't use his title outside work and he's a medical dr which has more common usage - he says it makes him feel like a twat and also singles you out for people to ask you medical questions - which they do ALL the time.

You're very welcome AWitchesHat and Bobbin - I heard of it a few months ago and am trying to spread the word!

My DH has a PhD, but he doesn't like using the title Dr unless the circumstances are very specifically to do with the subject he studied (he works in a completely different field now) as he thinks it's a bit irrelevant, and also worries that people might think he is a medical doctor and ask him for help with things he doesn't know anything about.

I don't think there's really a right or wrong answer to this, but it's particularly understandable for a woman to want to use it, as we are still often not taken as seriously as men, and a Dr title commands a lot of respect.

In Austria, where I have spent quite a lot of time, it's not unusual for people with a master's (the lowest form of degree you can get there) to use that title all the time: Magister Thomas Schmidt rather than Herr Thomas Schmidt for example. And if people have more than one academic title they often use both: Prof. Doktor Monika Bauer. It's just a cultural difference - I don't think there's any actual stigma attached to using a doctoral title here, it's just less common and viewed as optional rather than automatic.

Why not try it for a while, as an experiment, and report back? I'd be very interested to know whether people do react differently to you.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-49359137.

Notice Lesley Calder is a "flu researcher". She is a Principle Laboratory Research Scientist. She will have a Ph.D. (pdfs.semanticscholar.org/15c8/f71f6ddd412b882666e1f156995dbca8ae1f.pdf- link to a direct reference to "Dr Lesley Calder"). She also has an impressive body of research and published work.

Both the Male scientists, Dr Rosenthal and Dr Benson, are given their titles.

This article was published today, btw.