To start using my Dr title everywhere?

[Fyette]

I am 35 years old, but was born with the mixed genetic blessing of always looking far younger than my actual age. I still regularly get asked for ID in pubs and even at the cinema. I have a DD and people tend to assume I am a (very) young mother.

And yes, sometimes this is nice and flattering.

But like all women, and especially young women, I seem to get patronised a lot. I especially notice it at my DDs school (and before that with the HV), or in semi-formal settings.

I have a PhD and have never used my dr title outside of work, because I don't want to seem like a twat, basically. But sometimes I feel seeming like an obnoxious twat might be preferable to having to put up with this general condescension. Perhaps if I start introducing myself as Dr Fyette I will be taken more seriously? AIBU?

(Mind you: I do not think young women without a PhD deserve to be patronised any more than I do.)

I never use mine, just use Miss instead even on drop-down forms, apart from occasionally booking flights in the hopes of upgrades.

Partly because of comments like earlier in the thread - 'is that a stealth boast?' or 'pompous twat'. I already know how being academic is perceived (in the UK) and how it's immediately assumed that you think yourself superior and need to be taken down a peg, etc. Really, it's nothing of the sort. I'm proud of my work, it's who I am, it says nothing about what I think of anyone else. It's generally not relevant to daily life, so I don't use it. It would be nice to think that there was more of a choice about that, though.

Use it!

And to the person who said it makes someone sound like a twat-why? It’s as legitimate as being Mrs and no one makes fun of that. Why should someone feel they can’t use their title because other people have a chip on their shoulder about it? That is literally the only reason someone would have an issue- jealousy.

When I went from research to teaching it amazed me the nasty comments I got. Someone who didn’t even know me said people with PhDs make lazy teachers. Had another tell me I was trying to show off using my Dr title. It’s hard work why shouldn’t you use it?

I agree, how very depressing! Pride in achievement is not pompous, nor twattish.

I agree and don't let anyone tell you otherwise 😀

Sorry, why am I supposed to be more impressed by a medical doctor than any other?

And if it makes someone a twat for using the title "Dr" outside of a work setting, why isn't that across the board for everyone using that title including medical doctors?

Just sounds like total bollocks to me.

I do find is bit twattish when people introduce themselves as a doctor. I work with a lot of PhD and MD's and very rarely they do that.

But then again im from culture where nobody is ever redfered to as Mr, Mrs or Miss. Titles are never used. So if someone introduces themselves as Dr they will most likely be pompous. Also if someone introduces themselves as Mr or Mrs it would also get an eye roll.

Yep, looks like I’m also a twat. I was brought up by academics and I never heard this ‘cringe’ thing before I came on Mumsnet. I got my PhD, so I changed my title on my bank cards etc, it was just what you did! Dr is my correct title, so if a title is needed, that’s what I use.

No one is asking you to be impressed. But why is someone not entitled to use something they have worked for?

OMG I’ve just stumbled into some weird parallel universe where it’s somehow gauche to use the title that you’ve earned. I’ve never heard such nonsense!

I use my title, I’ve earned it. It took years, and blood sweat and tears. It’s an achievement, I’m the first in my family to go to university, never mind postgraduate study.

It’s not normal for anyone to introduce themselves as Dr/Mrs/Miss, but when asked I will almost always say Dr (except sometimes when approaching someone for a quote because my PhD does not equal high earnings). And I’m pretty sure that all of my colleagues use their titles too. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t really!

I don't understand why medical doctors can use 'dr' but a PHD can't? My husband has a PHD and uses Dr and no one has ever asked him medical advice and it's not exactly a hardship if someone does and he explains he's a scientist.

If you are not going to use it, do you mind if I borrow it?

This made me smile a bit, we have a B and B and have had some very patronising guests, although very much in the minority. One couple looked at the bookshelves and said ‘ Say! They have books! ‘ another couple ‘Isn’t she good at ironing?’ After that I put up my graduation photographs, which had been lurking in a drawer,, three of them, and had a quiet snigger!

I’m a medical doctor. Whenever I meet someone with a PhD I always say “Ah, a proper doctor” and they always say “Oh no, I can’t save lives and am afraid of blood” or somesuch. Clearly I meet a lot of very polite people with PhDs!

I don’t introduce myself as Dr Blythe, even at work I would say “I’m Diana Blythe, the doctor on call today” or whatever. I do put it on bank cards etc and I do answer “Dr” if asked “Is that Miss or Mrs”. I never used to as thought it was wanky but increasingly do find it affords me better service. Sadly actually most helpful when accessing healthcare.

So in short - you’re a proper doctor. Go for it!

Do it OP. You've earned it.

I'm signing myself of Iklboo (Tufty Badge) from now on.

Seriously, I deal with a lot of PhD professionals who use Dr as a title. It's can be confusing for patients but as long as you don't claim to be or mislead people that you're a medical doctor there's no problem.

I would not use it. It’s very try hard to me.

I should probably explain that I deliberately dropped my title when seeking my first teaching job. I was anyway a mature NQT, often being interviewed by heads younger than me.

As it anyway felt wrong to be using the title of a higher degree in one area in the context of a profession in which I was inexperienced and had a very standard qualification (PGCE), I chose to use Mrs. I would have kept Dr if I taught my subject in secondary or tertiary education.

Why do people thing PhD doctor titles are 'twattish' but not Professor?

I would. If you’ve got it flaunt it

YABU for not already using it

An academic colleague of mine, let’s call him the Reverend Doctor Joseph Bloggs, was often asked for medical advice! I had a large number of colleagues with PhDs and they all, quite rightly, used their formal titles, after all they had worked hard to earn them.

oh my yes use it! well done you, you shouldbe so proud of that!

Etiquette depends on the context and situation. Back when I worked in travel, as a teen, a huge source of stress for airlines were non-medical (or non-registered medical) people using ‘Dr’ in the title. So airlines often encouraged travel agents to encourage customers only to use it during booking if they were qualified and registered doctors. This was back in the day when medical doctors (and nurses) were often upgraded to business or first in exchange for ‘being on call’ for passengers.

Obviously you shouldn't be judged on what you wear, but if you want to be treated by others as a 'professional', maybe you need to dress like a 'professional'

Well personally, I'd look bloody silly standing in a muddy field in a suit... Not all professional jobs lend themselves to traditional professional attire.

Bloody Hell, I would! I'd love to be able to legitimately use Dr. and, if asked' Medical or PhD?' To reply, 'No. Time Lord.'

Yikes. Going to be the lone voice here and say don’t. People who phd’s calling themselves Dr is just cringe. Many friends who have them, none of them use it. Even the medical doctors don’t as it’s such a brag!!