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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I forgot to pick up dc's classmate from school

216 replies

johnwinstonlennon · 17/08/2019 22:04

Once a week they play football after classes finish. On this particular day, I received a phone call from another mum inviting dc to a playover -after classes, they were skipping football. I said fine and kept on working at the office. I leave the office and, while grocery shopping, my mobile rings. It was another child's mum, I am supposed to take him home on football day. It had completely slipped my mind. She started yelling and being very aggressive. It was only 5 minutes past the hour, so I said why don't you call so and so. She hanged up. I froze. Long story short, she insists that I am at fault for bringing out violence in her. WTF?? Apparently -this has never happened before- her child had to leave with the football teacher because he had to pick up his car from the mechanic's. Now, this mum is not the kind who worries about pedophiles -I am!-, so I just do not see why the anger. She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

OP posts:
ItsLateImTired · 17/08/2019 22:17

You forgot to pick up her child.
She got angry.
She was a bit over the top and probably shouldn't have sworn.
But .... YOU forgot her child (if that was me - and I worry I'm going to do this one day - I'd be mortified)

Apologise (profusely) and leave it at that.

Sparklesocks · 17/08/2019 22:18

When did this happen?

MT2017 · 17/08/2019 22:18

Putting the rest of it aside, YABU for not picking him up.

Thehop · 17/08/2019 22:18

Jesus Christ I’d be LIVID with you!!!

pamperramper · 17/08/2019 22:21

She was ridiculously over the top. It slipped your mind. Could happen to anyone. Her child was not at risk.

Ginger1982 · 17/08/2019 22:21

So you forgot her kid and were then cheeky to her when she was, quite rightly, annoyed? YABU.

TSSDNCOP · 17/08/2019 22:23

OK I think we all get why she’s furious. That’s an epic cock up that you cannot defend.

But is she genuinely said “She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.” then that’s way over the line and she needs to get a hold of herself now.

drinkygin · 17/08/2019 22:26

“She’s not the type to worry about pedophiles - I am” what does that even mean?!
You are being entirely unreasonable I’d be fuming. You don’t seem in the slightest bit sorry either.

jmh740 · 17/08/2019 22:26

I would be really upset too, it must have been very scary for her child, what do you mean apparently it's never happened before? Most people wouldn't forget a long term arrangement to collect a child, I think you should be really apologetic to her.

TheoriginalLEM · 17/08/2019 22:26
Hmm
Halo1234 · 17/08/2019 22:28

Did u appolgise? Bit self centred to only think of your DC. If u have arranged to pick him up it's out of order to just forget cause you made plans for your DC. If I was getting another child it would be on my radar as much as if it was my own. How did u just forget? Bit irresponsible.
She shouldn't have been aggressive but I can u understand why she would be angry. Doubt it will be a problem anymore. I am sure she wont be asking u to get her DC again.

jennymanara · 17/08/2019 22:29

Her reaction is OTT and would actually scare me a bit.

jmh740 · 17/08/2019 22:29

You really don't understand why shes angry??? You left her child in a very dangerous position. How would you feel if you thought your child was being safely collected but instead they were stood around waiting for someone not knowing what was happening, youve let both the parent and the child down in a big way, yes people make mistakes but you don't seem to realise you are the one in the wrong.

itswinetime · 17/08/2019 22:29

You forgot her child....you response was oh see if someone else can do it... and your judging the fact she let her child go with the football coach!!! What choice did she have!! The coach had to leave fair enough. What was she meant to do leave her son alone until she could figure out how to get to him!!

You were wrong she was upset and bringing out violence?? She had a go at you and hung up? Sounds like this was a while a go so the damage is done! You should have apologised profusely but it's a bit late for that!

Plus side you won't be being asked for all those pick up drop off favours that seem to wind everyone up so much!

LL83 · 17/08/2019 22:30

What exactly did she say to the other mum a flippant comment such as "I could have killer her"

Or an actual threat?

I understand the mistake but you don't sound very sorry.

She may not bebe worried football coach is a child abuser but she would be embarrassed my child was left, and upset at the worry her child would have felt when nobody turned up for him.

You really don't get it.

Beautiful3 · 17/08/2019 22:30

I would be upset if you forgot to collect my child too. I would fully expect an apology. However the level of anger and words used by the other mum, are completely over the top.

didkdt · 17/08/2019 22:34

I would be upset if my child was left somewhere, but I wouldn't be violent or aggressive.
I do tend to text on the day to make sure arrangements are still on, even for regular things.

TheWindowDonkey · 17/08/2019 22:34

I forgot to take a friends child home once. I was absolutely mortified. The mum was cross, as I would have been... but once she realised how gutted and sorry I was she was very sweet. YABVU. .

Pollywollydolly · 17/08/2019 22:35

So just to clarify you forgot to pick up her child and when she called you about it you didn't even apologise?

Wow!

OhTheRoses · 17/08/2019 22:35

I forgot someone's child once. Who knew you could drive from my high street to DS's school in 7 minutes, almost flying over the bumps. They are 24 now. They were 9 then. We still laugh about it.

WorraLiberty · 17/08/2019 22:36

I'm really confused as to where the pedophiles come into this? Confused

Celebelly · 17/08/2019 22:39

She wanted to have you killed?!?!

Look, I understand that forgetting to pick up her child isn't nice and she might be annoyed, but mistakes happen. This happened when I was a kid (and before mobile phones were a thing) and I don't remember anyone getting aggressive and making threats. No harm came to her child, he was presumably old enough to be trusted to wait away from the facility and supervision and old enough to seek help. It seems hugely OTT to me - I would expect the other parent to be pretty mortified and apologise but I wouldn't be baying for blood 🤷‍♀️

Mittler · 17/08/2019 22:39

The more children people have the more they think 'meh' to someone forgetting to pick one of theirs up. I'd probably have been cross if someone had forgotten to collect my PFB. I'd have done well to remember to pick subsequent ones up myself, never mind additional DC. I would apologise, profusely, and then wait for it to blow over.

ItsLateImTired · 17/08/2019 22:39

WorraLiberty - glad you said that!! I'm confused too!!

GrinGrinConfused

Celebelly · 17/08/2019 22:40

Mind you, DP's sister got left at the beach when she was a kid and no one realised till they got home as both drivers thought she was in the other person's car. I don't think his mum ever drove so fast in her life Grin

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