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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I forgot to pick up dc's classmate from school

216 replies

johnwinstonlennon · 17/08/2019 22:04

Once a week they play football after classes finish. On this particular day, I received a phone call from another mum inviting dc to a playover -after classes, they were skipping football. I said fine and kept on working at the office. I leave the office and, while grocery shopping, my mobile rings. It was another child's mum, I am supposed to take him home on football day. It had completely slipped my mind. She started yelling and being very aggressive. It was only 5 minutes past the hour, so I said why don't you call so and so. She hanged up. I froze. Long story short, she insists that I am at fault for bringing out violence in her. WTF?? Apparently -this has never happened before- her child had to leave with the football teacher because he had to pick up his car from the mechanic's. Now, this mum is not the kind who worries about pedophiles -I am!-, so I just do not see why the anger. She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 17:15

mytwobundles if someone here speaks Spanish, this is what she said -among other nice things- "la voy a matar, o mejor voy a hacer que alguien la mate". Why are you suggesting I am lying? Speaks loads about you really.

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my2bundles · 18/08/2019 17:30

Because people invent scenarios on here all the time.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 18/08/2019 17:33

Do you know what violence means?

I agree with PP that there may be a translation issue here

ItsLateImTired · 18/08/2019 17:37

Sorry OP. I do think I have been a bit mean, especially given what you say you've been through with your ex etc... Mumsnet can be a bit tricky place and people do get a bit torn apart at times. I've been on the receiving end of that afew times! So probably should have thought more carefully about my posts so as not to upset you. I think I've just found this thread extremely frustrating. I think like others have said, it's probably just got something to do with things getting lost in translation ...

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/08/2019 17:39

Yes the mother was angry. I do get that. She was probably imagining all sorts. If that’s what the paedo comment meant.
However threAtening to have someone killed is not a criminal offence.

slipperywhensparticus · 18/08/2019 17:45

Of course threats to kill are a criminal offence you really cant do that

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 17:48

FireBloodAndIce thank you, I didn't know about "drip feeding". It sounds crazy.

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 17:48

I didn't know I had posted this in an incorrect "place".

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bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 17:50

@johnwinstonlennon

My comment asking 'what's wrong with saying sorry and moving on?' Was directed at the poster I tagged, not you.

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:11

someone posted an imagined exchange between me and the other mum. No, I didn't say I was busy and couldn't pick child up! I just FORGOT!! and then I kind of froze, didn't know what to do. I know this sounds very stupid, but it is what happened.

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:12

bouncingraindrops ok! I do not know how to tag people here. And it is super difficult to remember the names hahah, they are quite inventive and funny some of them.

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:14

the paedo comment did not come from the other mum, I came up with that! I tried to explain that she is not the type to worry about that, that I am.

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:15

my2bundles I didn't know that people invented scenarios in this forum, sorry.

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:20

WorraLiberty yes there was violence. I was on the receiving end of a violent phone call and of violent audios and messages. The very fact that you fail to see that means that you see it as natural.
No, I do not live on an episode of The Sopranos -very condescending of you-, of course I do not believe she is going to kill me or having me kill, but it is very disturbing to hear such a thing. Hope you never do.

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Ravingstarfish · 18/08/2019 18:20

Sounds like anyone who doesn’t agree with you is ‘psycho’ and ‘violent’

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:24

thank you -at least some of you-.
Sorry I posted in the wrong place and didn't include more details in the original post.
Many comments in this thread make me realise how immune you have become to violence. Or agression. They are similar, despite some here dismissing the latter as an ok thing. Worrying really.
Have a nice day

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johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:26

ravingstarfish I do not think so. I worry that people do not seem to see violence. They might only see it if it is physical or too obvious, I don't know really.

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Stressedout10 · 18/08/2019 18:38

@johnwinstonlennon
Violence is a physical act
Aggression can be physical or verbal

bellinisurge · 18/08/2019 18:41

You cannot have a violent phone call unless you are hit over the head by the phone. You can have an aggressive, threatening call.

CSIblonde · 18/08/2019 18:42

She was worried sick. If you're that forgetful I'd seriously start putting reminders on your phones calendar. A child whose been left to find their own way back is vulnerable.

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:44

Stressedout10 no, you are wrong. Haven't you heard of psychologica violence, economic violence? Sexual violence? well, that last one is physical. But you lack knowledge. I suggest you learn about it, in order to be able to detect it and avoid it.

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LatteLove · 18/08/2019 18:45

@CSIblonde, the kid was 12/13 so not as bad as a younger one being left

Stressedout10 · 18/08/2019 18:47

@johnwinstonlennon
🤣 get a grip

LatteLove · 18/08/2019 18:47

@johnwinstonlennon violence refers to physical force. Economic and psychological abuse are things for sure but the word “violent” is not accurate

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 18:47

CSIblonde yes, I will use reminders from now on. I have never before forgotten a child, either mine or someone else's. It was a one off thing. And no, she was not worried sick. I tried to explain that she is not the worrying kind! she just found an outlet to get violent.

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