I forgot to pick up dc's classmate from school

[johnwinstonlennon]

Once a week they play football after classes finish. On this particular day, I received a phone call from another mum inviting dc to a playover -after classes, they were skipping football. I said fine and kept on working at the office. I leave the office and, while grocery shopping, my mobile rings. It was another child's mum, I am supposed to take him home on football day. It had completely slipped my mind. She started yelling and being very aggressive. It was only 5 minutes past the hour, so I said why don't you call so and so. She hanged up. I froze. Long story short, she insists that I am at fault for bringing out violence in her. WTF?? Apparently -this has never happened before- her child had to leave with the football teacher because he had to pick up his car from the mechanic's. Now, this mum is not the kind who worries about pedophiles -I am!-, so I just do not see why the anger. She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

@emerald I know people who I avoid like the plague who say things like that. I don't live in a nice area. But someone was defending people who say things like that as just being a flippant comment. I think anyone who says things like this is not a nice person and is someone I would give a very wide berth to.

I'm sure the reference to "having Op killed" was along the lines of "... and then she told me to call someone else. I could have killed her." a figure of speech, and by no means any intent behind it.

Ds was once forgotten due to a misunderstanding. We laughed about it afterwards, although the dash down to school with my heart thumping wasn't a pleasant trip-he was meeting them outside school and I really didn't know whether he'd have gone back inside or decided to walk home. I wasn't sure whether I'd be calling the police to report him missing or what.
However she was mortified and very apologetic. If she's been as blasé about it as the Op I would have been much less able to see the funny side.

You made a mistake, these things happen....

But - I can't imagine being anything other than COMPLETELY mortified and apologetic when I realised - or (much, much worse - actually contacted by the other Mum. 😱

You are being completely unreasonable.

Which you know, or you wouldn't have started this thread.

Yes I am sure it was a figure of speech. But IME people who use these kinds of figures of speech are people to stay well away from. They are not nice people.

Have the people who'd be angry at OP never forgotten anything or got their days mixed up?!

FGS, of course we all have. 🙄

At which point, we apologise profusely and accept responsibility. Like a normal person with normal social skills.

Presumably by ‘classes’ you mean school? Do you live somewhere where it’s not summer hols right now or have you been dwelling on this all summer?

And there was no danger a coach isn’t likely to just kick a kid out and go home.

No but...the majority of coaches and teachers will not (and often cannot ) be alone in a car with a child, due to potential accusations (whether true or unfounded).

Therefore, one would assume they were lucky enough to have another person available at the time, to accompany them in the car.

I know this was certainly the case when my DS was at Primary school. A child wasn't picked up after a football match and the Head Teacher rang his mum and said he would drive him home, as long as me and my son (I was a governor at the time) accompanied them in the car.

I used to share pickup from After school Club with my neighbour. She did this once. She forgot to tell me her child's school was closed that day (club shared between several schools). OP your posting brought back the memory of how angry I felt when I saw how upset my DC was at being forgotten (it was 25 years ago) The sharing arrangement ended that night.

I understand that, but the point is that the DC was not in danger as one MNer claimed.

Scottish children have gone back to school...

Any thoughts on the replies so far OP?

If you are so worried about pedophiles, why were you not concerned for the other child? This story doesn’t make sense.

Scottish schools have only just gone back - Wednesday was the earliest (and many places only start back next week). This story doesn't sound that recent

She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

No, she did not.

*OK I think we all get why she’s furious. That’s an epic cock up that you cannot defend.

But is she genuinely said “She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.” then that’s way over the line and she needs to get a hold of herself now.*

This.

I’d also quit the pick up arrangement going forward. Tbf she probably won’t ask you again anyway!

I also agree that you don’t seem sorry or contrite and there’s maybe a chance if she got that too it got her back up.

I also don’t get the “paedophiles” comment.

You left her child in a very dangerous position.

Well, no. Not excusing anything, but the kid was never going to be left standing around outside the school on his own, was he?

You left her child in a very dangerous position

In what way?

Any club or event my kids have been to the leaders wait until the kids are picked up, they don’t throw them onto the streets.

Regardless if this is a long standing arrangement or not surely she should send a text to make sure you are ok to pick up her ds before the training? But I also thing you need to apologise. Two wrongs don't make a right. The child should of noticed your child missing and asked the coach to make contact with his mother before the end of training. I don't think anyone deserves that long of abuse regardless of the reason but you still need to try and make the situation right.

You should have apologised profusely and explained what had happened. And then never do her a favour again!

I'd be upset if someone had forgotten my child but that level of anger is ridiculous.

Scottish children have gone back to school...

Even in Scotland we don't send them on Saturdays

I forgot an extra pick up once. It was 2 years ago but I still feel awful. Luckily, my friend seemed ok. You messed up. Take the hassle which comes with it and don't offer any more favours. The mum wasn't the only person who was annoyed with you I'm guessing!

I'd be upset if someone had forgotten my child but that level of anger is ridiculous.

My level of anger would be massively exacerbated by the total absence of shit giving by the OP...

^^Scottish children have gone back to school...

Even in Scotland we don't send them on Saturdays 😁

Bugger I was just going to look on Rightmove for houses in Scotland 🤣

Seriously though OP you were very unreasonable.

Scottish schools have only just gone back - Wednesday was the earliest (and many places only start back next week). This story doesn't sound that recent confused

I wondered that too prettybird. Would only make sense to post about something that happened a while ago if you had an update.

Just watched first ep of deep water, sounds familiar to that storyline.

I think yabu. She was obviously shit scarred at the situation so she's allowed to over react. I would have also. I would just keep apologising and maybe not offer a lift anymore if it's too much trouble for you.