Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I forgot to pick up dc's classmate from school

216 replies

johnwinstonlennon · 17/08/2019 22:04

Once a week they play football after classes finish. On this particular day, I received a phone call from another mum inviting dc to a playover -after classes, they were skipping football. I said fine and kept on working at the office. I leave the office and, while grocery shopping, my mobile rings. It was another child's mum, I am supposed to take him home on football day. It had completely slipped my mind. She started yelling and being very aggressive. It was only 5 minutes past the hour, so I said why don't you call so and so. She hanged up. I froze. Long story short, she insists that I am at fault for bringing out violence in her. WTF?? Apparently -this has never happened before- her child had to leave with the football teacher because he had to pick up his car from the mechanic's. Now, this mum is not the kind who worries about pedophiles -I am!-, so I just do not see why the anger. She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

OP posts:
my2bundles · 18/08/2019 06:55

You say English isn't your first language which suggests to me you completely misunderstood the term I could kill her. You over reacted. The mum was right to be annoyed, you carnt just forget someone else's child.

FireBloodAndIce · 18/08/2019 07:04

Did she actually threaten violence? Or was she aggressive and said like 'ill fucking kill you.' It sounds like the later if she apologised today. It does sound like you overreacted but it also sounds like you may have ptsd from what you've painted in your past so that's understandable.

She overreacted too, no need to get aggressive, fair enough angry even if you apologised profusely but not aggressive. If she hits her kids she sounds like that kind of person though. Have you reported her and her husband if you've seen that?

FireBloodAndIce · 18/08/2019 07:09

And in case you make another thread OP its best to put all information in the OP regardless of how long. Otherwise questions will be asked and assumptions. Then you'll be accused of drip feeding.

That you apologised should have gone in the OP because it sounds very blase like you didn't care or apologise. Likewise her violent streak. The updates set the scene more.

FairyDust92 · 18/08/2019 07:15

The fact she voiced she wanted you killed was a bit extreme and slightly worrying...

blahblahblahblahhh · 18/08/2019 07:18

Isn't this just the story line of Deep Water on ITV at the moment

colourlessgreenidea · 18/08/2019 07:31

you asked who sounds violent. This sounds violent to me:
My level of anger would be massively exacerbated by the total absence of shit giving by the OP...

How does that sound ‘violent’? Confused

ItsLateImTired · 18/08/2019 07:41

OP it sounds like you were very upset (would have helped to put this in the original post). Also sounds like you've been through a lot with your ex, and I really feel for you and it sounds like life has been pretty cruel to you, for which I am so sorry and I hope things get better.

That said though, I think though that you are seeing 'violence' where perhaps there isn't any. No-one was violent to you on this thread. No-one was particularly aggressive until a few pages in. Yet you are saying people were being 'violent' to you. It feels like perhaps not quite 'getting it' and seeing violence where there is none has contributed to the problem with this child's mum. This is the case I'm imaging ...

Mum of kid (MoK): you forgot my kid??? OMG, are you on your way to get him??
OP: I can't get him I'm busy, just phone someone else.
MoK: WHAT!! WtF, who! You were meant to get him...
OP: ok ok, stop being so violent, it's not like you care about paedophiles or anything
MoK: (getting pretty angry now) what are you on about you stupid woman, I just need to get my kid, how could you forget him.
OP: stop getting violent with me, he's fine, just call someone else to go and get him, you don't care about paedophiles as much as me anyway
MoK: hang up.

That evening: MoK calls friend "do you know what....and then she had the cheek to tell me to just call someone else to go and get him, as if it's that easy!! And I was getting so mad and she told me to stop being violent and something about paedophiles!...I could have f*ing killed her at that point..."

ItsLateImTired · 18/08/2019 07:48

you asked who sounds violent. This sounds violent to me:
My level of anger would be massively exacerbated by the total absence of shit giving by the OP...

And this is totally not violent....at all.

floribunda18 · 18/08/2019 07:52

I'd be mortified to forget something like that, but we are all human and there by the grace of god, we all forget important stuff from time to time. Her reaction though was batshit crazy and I'd never have anything to do with her again.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/08/2019 07:57

Did you apologise profusely? Did you find out who he was with?

From your posts it sounds as though you didn’t apologise or find anything out and told her to call someone else then carried on shopping. If this is the case, no wonder she was angry.

At 12 and 13 children in the U.K. generally have phones and can get themselves around if the activity isn’t far from home. You aren’t giving much information and are engaging with posters off topic comments rather than explaining the situation.

FattyPeddledFuriously999 · 18/08/2019 08:04

johnwinstonlennon Tue 07-May-19 03:14:53
I am usually -almost everyday- angry and shouty.
I get angry at the silliest and smallest of things,
the other day we wer sitting across the table and I felt the need to hit him! I don't even remember the reason. help please

^OP going by your previous thread I'd say you are the one with violence issues not the people on this thread.

bellinisurge · 18/08/2019 08:21

She trusted you with her child and you let her down. And you can't think why she was angry. Weird.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/08/2019 08:24

12&13 years old?!? I think most people assumed you were talking about 6 year olds.
This makes zero sense. The coach wouldn't have taken him in his own car. He would have just left him. That age would be making their own way home.

TeddybearBaby · 18/08/2019 08:38

You’re getting mixed up with anger and violence. People are allowed to feel anger. It’s a totally normal and healthy emotion.

It’s really offensive saying you care about paedophiles and she doesn’t. I think most parents would lose their mind if their child was in danger in this way.

OooErMissus · 18/08/2019 08:42

lumene you asked who sounds violent. This sounds violent to me:
My level of anger would be massively exacerbated by the total absence of shit giving by the OP...
should read "given" I assume.

No, definitely 'giving'. As in, 'to give a shit'.

It really didn't seem as if you gave one, which is why this has blown up in your face both with regards to the other Mum and on here.

prettybird · 18/08/2019 08:42

If the boys are 12/13, then YANBU and the other parent over-reacted. As others have said, a) it's surprising that they didn't have their own phones (whatever one might think about the ubiquity of and over-reliance on mobile phones Hmm) and b) that they couldn't make their own arrangements Confused. Most kids that age are making their own way to/from school and activities.

If it's a Southern Hemisphere country, I know that Australia, NZ and South Africa are all represented on here (as have others been over the years) Grin - but all that needs to be said is that it's a Southern Hemisphere country.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 18/08/2019 09:15

What @ItsLateImTired said. OP, the issue is not that you forgot, we all forget. The issue is that you didn't immediately try to put the situation right by rushing to get her kids and apologising profusely.

Medievalist · 18/08/2019 09:16

It'sLateImTired has it I think.

my2bundles · 18/08/2019 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HeyMonkey · 18/08/2019 10:06

I think people are so baffled about this thread because the title is "I forgot to pick up DC's classmate from school" and you posted it in AIBU.

The answer is of course YABU, so to post it in AIBU suggests that you think you may not be responsible? Why did you post it in AIBU if so?

LatteLove · 18/08/2019 10:29

“Violent and aggressive”? Aw come on OP, give your head a wobble. If the posts on here are what you term “violent and aggressive”, then I suspect that you might have overreacted to how the mum spoke to you. Ultimately we can only go on what you posted here, where it seemed the mum was angry with you because you’d forgotten her young child and didn’t seem bothered. We aren’t mind readers.

LatteLove · 18/08/2019 10:35

Sometimes she is just normal and lovely, but sometimes she turns violent.
This thread clearly shows which ones are of the same streak

Aw come on OP. Get a grip of yourself.

LatteLove · 18/08/2019 10:44

*A dad forgets to get his child and picks him up late....everyone defends dad because he works long hours and it could happen to anyone

OP forgets to get a friends child, she’s the worst ever

Strange place*

I’ve never seen anyone make excuses for a dad in those circumstances. Further, no one has said the OP is the “worst ever”.

But she did post in AIBU, and while I am sure it was a pure accident, She did still forget to either pick up the kid or tell the mum she couldn’t do it. We all make mistakes, no one is judging you harshly op but it doesn’t change the fact you did make a mistake.

nowayhose · 18/08/2019 10:51

I'm actually shocked at the responses you have had about this !

I have been on many, many chats on MN and what you usually get is the totally OTT parents who cannot tolerate everyday things such as someone smoking in their own garden next door to a poster who is outraged at the mere thought their DC may be exposed to second hand smoke. Or the delightful chat about posters saying it is their absolute 'right' as 'the mother' to put tracking on their DC !

But on here, everyone's like 'meh', the more kids you have, the less it matters............... or 'say sorry and move on' EH ?? WTAF ??

have all the usual MN's been replaced by pod people ??????? :) :)

bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 10:59

@nowayhose

What's wrong with saying sorry and moving on?