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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I forgot to pick up dc's classmate from school

216 replies

johnwinstonlennon · 17/08/2019 22:04

Once a week they play football after classes finish. On this particular day, I received a phone call from another mum inviting dc to a playover -after classes, they were skipping football. I said fine and kept on working at the office. I leave the office and, while grocery shopping, my mobile rings. It was another child's mum, I am supposed to take him home on football day. It had completely slipped my mind. She started yelling and being very aggressive. It was only 5 minutes past the hour, so I said why don't you call so and so. She hanged up. I froze. Long story short, she insists that I am at fault for bringing out violence in her. WTF?? Apparently -this has never happened before- her child had to leave with the football teacher because he had to pick up his car from the mechanic's. Now, this mum is not the kind who worries about pedophiles -I am!-, so I just do not see why the anger. She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

OP posts:
Feelingstupid123456789101112 · 18/08/2019 00:45

What do you mean she doesn’t worry about pedophiles but you do? Do you think the football coach is a pedophile? What a strange thing to say.

Duck90 · 18/08/2019 01:05

I think the pedophile comment, translates that the op views the other parent to be complacent with protecting her child! OP is vigilant, but only for her own child.

LatteLove · 18/08/2019 01:08

OP is vigilant, but only for her own child.

And possibly also harbours concerns that the football coach might be a paedophile, otherwise why make the comment!

“She shouldn’t mind her child not being picked up because she’s not bothered about paedophiles” being the subtext Confused

LatteLove · 18/08/2019 01:10

My level of anger would be massively exacerbated by the total absence of shit giving by the OP...

Yeah you don’t really seem bothered OP Confused

LagunaBubbles · 18/08/2019 01:16

I would be angry with you to but I'm sure I would have calmed down when you gave your profuse apologies... although you don't seem that bothered!

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:39

why on earth do you think I didn't say sorry or that I do not sound sorry? I tried to make a short post -in a language that is not even my own- so maybe it's not clear enough.
this happened yesterday.
somebody said "YABU for not picking child up", do you understand that I completely forgot?
this arrangement is quite new, maybe 3 or 4 Fridays before this one.

OP posts:
MorganKitten · 18/08/2019 01:42

somebody said "YABU for not picking child up", do you understand that I completely forgot?

Erm...YABVU, YOU forgot the child! Take some responsibility for your actions, you’d feel the same!

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lumene · 18/08/2019 01:49

Who on this thread is sounding ‘violent’ OP?!?

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:50

how on earth would I know that that day the coach had to go and pick up his car?
I cried my eyes out yesterday.
The mum reacted as if I have done it on purpose, that is my point.
And she is violent, she hits all her kids. As do her husband.
Sometimes she is just normal and lovely, but sometimes she turns violent.
This thread clearly shows which ones are of the same streak.

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:52

lumene you asked who sounds violent. This sounds violent to me:
My level of anger would be massively exacerbated by the total absence of shit giving by the OP...
should read "given" I assume.

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 01:53

What country do you live in OP?

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:54

ginger1982: why do you say that I was cheeky to the other mum? where do you get that from?

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 01:55

Sorry. Also, how old are the kids?

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:56

I would like to answer each individually her in public, I do not know how to do it.

OP posts:
Medievalist · 18/08/2019 01:56

Having seen the title I opened the thread expecting you to be beating yourself up - horrified that you could do such a thing and mortified over what the child's mother must think. That's how I would feel.

But, your post focuses on how the mother behaved towards you, the implication being that she was unreasonable. And saying that you "do not see why the anger" sounds like just don't appreciate the seriousness of what you did (or rather didn't do).

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:56

bouncygraindrops, 12 and 13

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 01:58

That makes the ignored question even more relevant!

Where do you love?

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:58

morgankitten: what can I do after the fact?? of course I would feel bad but I would never threaten, insult, shout and curse the other person!!!

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 01:58

LiveBlush

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 01:59

bouncingraindrops why is relevant where I live? I would like to preserve some privacy, for the kids.

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:01

why is relevant where I live? I would like to preserve some privacy, for the kids.

It would give the situation some perspective that's all. Some places are higher risk than others.

Anyway I wasn't asking for your home address, it's hardly going to breach the kids privacy of you name a country 😂

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:04

medievalist: I cried my eyes out yesterday, there is nothing I could do after the fact, nothing. what I am trying to understang is why so much violence when it was something not done on purpose! why do you think that I am not mortified? I am! but why would I come to a forum just to show how mortified I am? that would be absurd. I am trying to understand the violent reaction.

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:06

bouncingraindrops, I understand. But I have been through domestic violence and even though my ex doesn't read English, I am afraid someone reading this would figure out who I am and tell him. He is a psycho so he uses anything and turns it whatever way he wants.

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:07

bouncingraindrops it is not a dangerous country nor a dangerous city. At all.

OP posts: